Are You Bothered By The Negative Thoughts of Others?

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I can be quite negative myself, but it is usually about myself and the way my own life is progressing.
I find it difficult to deal with when someone comes along who is negative about literally everything, and rips everything to shreds, whereas I can still see good in things outside of myself. It also does bother me quite deeply when others are critical towards me or say negative things about me, as I do tend to take it to be true, but I suppose that is because I am lacking in self worth to a degree.

But no, I can be quite the child, liking to see joy in things and loving fantasy and it really does tend to bring me down if someone comes along and sees only the harsher realities and only speaks of the negative realities in the world. It is draining and to me, counterproductive.

They DEFINITELY bother me. That's why I've made the choice to quit following team sports and refuse to take part in politics of any form. Two different worlds I know, but one thing I've found they have in common is that both are prone to people who make arguments which are flooded with irrational and negative reasoning (I use that word loosely) in which the loudest voice is the one who usually wins.

I really wish WP would have a forum just for religious discussions and not pile it in with the political forum. I tried making this recommendation there and I was jumped from all sides. I was so stressed from reading all those in-my-face comments, I just gave up and didn't respond to anyone.

Well the really happy optimists will always have at least something going for them, and they might not realise how much sh** the pessimists are going through. If they can't help what they're going through, they have every right to be negative. That said, even though I hate my life and I've screwed up my teen years and all the teens on here are way better and normal and smarter than me, I'm like "f*** it" and am sort-of getting on with it.

Every right to be negative for sure, but what about bringing others down?

If I'm bummed out I remove myself and deal with it. I have met some severely disabled people who exude happiness and positivity, mainly to settle those around them.

I avoid nasty back stabbers who bond via exclusion and hate speech, cancer will come to them as their immune levels lower, nature's reaction when unbalanced

I'm actually more bothered by people who try to hide negative feelings/thoughts with fake positivity.

I think life needs to be embraced, both negative and positive. I'm drawn to people who can accept both.

That said, I have a habit of being a bit gloomy, myself. I don't push it on other people, like I used to when I was younger. I don't intend to be a pessimist; it's a habit not a personal philosophy. I make more of an effort to be happy now that I'm older but I don't squash out my darker thoughts/feelings. I'll try to keep them to myself when it's inappropriate to share (learning when it's inappropriate has been hard). I'll also try to stop negative thoughts running round and round in my head because that can make me ill.

In short, I have a hard enough time dealing with my own negativity to care much about other people's. I actually sometimes like being around negative people because they make me feel positive in comparison, as totally perverse as that sounds. However, being around negative people for too long can wear you down.

Yin and yang huh?

I remember travelling thru the south of Sumatra, passing thru all these sad ass villages. People with long faces by the town after town load.
Then we got to the Bukatingi and everything changed. Happy townsfolk and an atmosphere that made travellers want to stay awhile. Many reasons why, and not to go into that here, but the bottom line is that at a personal level it is often just a choice, most people want to be happy, so prefer the company of happy people....

Just like choosing to identify with those of a similar vibration, and supporting ones premise of pessimism or optimism, thru association with similar others, as the case may be.

Like deciding to cross the street and walk down the sunny side of the street, while others choose to walk in the shade.

I like sunny people but sometimes I need to feel the darkness too

My avatar has a negative quality, the OP TTRsage's avatar looks very sad...... many need to express the sadness that comes with a diagnosis of AS.

Staying forever in that expression, is not wise. People need to move on from shite eventually.

I like that... it says half of what I always try to tell other people that they should simply be themselves and not put on a phony show of one kind or another. It always warrants more respect in my mind.



Ah, you noticed that. Good for you. My avatar pic came from a colorful pic named "Princes" that I found on usenet about 10-15 years ago. It shows two young princes in colorful clothes standing on a rugged cliff side with a full moon shining against a star filled brilliant blue sky. The long brown hair of this particular prince parted in the middle along with the sadness in his eyes reminds me so much of myself around age 20. So I used his face as my avatar pic.

Negative thoughts are an issue for me in group work. I hate having to depend on others or depending on others in general, but I find that every time I have to work in a group my work ethic suffers because I can't stay motivated when surrounded by people who don't seem to have the same goals on the shared work that I do.

You seem to read my mind!

Although I suspect I'm a bit more negative towards the outside world than you, I feel as if the child inside me quietly contemplates the world around him with a marvelling air, shaking his head a little, invariably hoping for the long forgotten days of joy and happiness to set in once again...

I’m neither overly optimistic nor un-necessarily pessimistic. I’m a realist.
People who have either an unhealthy optimism or unrealistic negativity are deluded and I try and treat them the same as you would a mentally unwell relative who will never get better, with kindness without taking the slightest notice of the dumb thing they say.

Others actions bother me more than their thoughts, unless of course they voice their thought in such a way to upset people who are not as clever and intelligent as I. Then I tend to speak my mind such as it is.

Pretty much for me too.

I have that problem that if someone thinks something about me I am disturbed about it. It's mostly people I don't give a s**t about. But still they know how to hurt me.

I am a rather pessimistic person but when other people say something negative, it really gets on my nerves.Maybe thats where it comes from.It feels like they are trying to take away my hope

I get bothered a lot by people when they say something negative about something I like. IDK why, since I have very negative views on things as well.

Just realize there's a huge distinction between negative venting and mean spirited petty negativity. I don't like societies prejudice against depressed people who may not have the mental capacity to "exude happiness" so easily as others and are thus ignored and ostracized.

As for the really petty crap like gossip and talking trash about people who've done nothing to deserve it, I agree with you. I also notice there are certain types of people who like to b**** and complain about really petty and trivial stuff. It can be funny sometimes but if it's the only way these people know how to socialize it gets irritating and boring. I also don't trust people who are always like that and never "real" about anything.

Disturbingly overt optimism? Maybe they are trying to cheer you up?

To create equilibrium an opposing positive force greater than the negative status quo is needed.

In metapyshics recent thread starter re autie pride....her positive energy was not strong enough to scratch the surface of pessimism that dwells here................

Maybe the overt optimists are created by the overt pessimists, and vice versa maybe we are trying to balance each other, depending on our viewpoint of ideal balance of expression. But who is right?

Letting others needing to express in negative mode, their bottom lip keep dropping all the way to the floor? Well, okay then

Feel the darkness

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gxn3w_4hOeg[/youtube]