Why are aspie guys so "quiet" online?

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lol. I hear this from guys who've been talking for half an hour; they say it when I try to get a sentence in.

IDK. It seems to depend on my mood and current possibilities. Most of the time I'm not the least verbose, but if I have the opportunity I can speak out of my mind virtually almost everything IRL (my interests, memories, thoughts). However, I'm not readily participate on any online forum (WP, facebook, msn, iwiw). I sometimes use IP phone (skype) though, and I like to post here on this forum.

I say a lot more here than in real life. As a result, my writing skills have probably improved and I have a better handle on processing things that happen or have happened to me in real life. Usually, I am speaking to a general case of "you" and not to anyone in particular. I also sometimes speak about hypothetical cases, not necessarily about myself or anyone I know. I almost never PM anyone and even my posts mostly are declarative and not necessarily a response to others who have posted before me.

How about something like (it doesn't have to be quite like this each time) something like "I'm fine, thanks. What have you been up to/How's your day been?" or similar.

The thing is, very few guys like to chat with each other online. They'd much rather chat with the opposite sex, which is why they might say less if talking to a guy, Aspie or not.

Immediateness is not required. They never know how many things you are attending to at once. If they make you wait for an answer, don't wait!! Always have something else to do online while you are chatting. If they never answer, then just forget about it.

I'm female and IRL I don't say a lot. Online I talk a lot more openly and easily. I also enjoy being able to do multiple things while chatting online, and feel comfortable in my surroundings. I dislike face to face conversations...I get WAY too uncomfortable. I think that is one reason I prefer online friendships, I don't feel uncomfortable "around" anyone.

I think it is like Keeno said, guys probably just don't want to talk to guys, as much as they would like to talk to girls. I would much rather talk to someone of the opposite gender as well. I find that I have much more in common with guys, I have few things in common with females, unless they are tomboy aspie females like me, lol.

As for some of the feelings you have had, sometimes feeling younger than you are, or female. It is common with AS to feel "inbetween" genders, or assexual. I frequently feel like a male trapped in a females body, I have had issues my whole life with gender. It isn't always at the forefront of my mind though, certain things make it worse. I am not trying to insinuate anything, but perhaps when you are able to speak freely online it opens your feminine side that usually has to stay hidden, therefore you feel more feminine.

the reason that i personaly don't post many messages here is that what i would say has usually already been said and it would feel redundant or i just can't think of anything to contribute to the threads. (not to mention that i'm viewing this site through my PS3's web browser so it's kind of a pain since my laptop is busted and the PS3's browser is painfully slow at times.

Maybe your male friends are on but actually doing something, like playing or working. I will always stop to answer a message (its like an obssesion). My husband will not. He will ignore you because he is doing something that is important to HIM. He actually hates IM. Might be something like that?

Believe me I'm always doing like 50 things online at once but it's still too stressful for me. lol. Also I have dealt w some needy people, 'where'd you go', 'are you back yet', etc. I'll pass (for the most part).

Guys are usually more quiet in general, anyways.

I linked something that actually debunks this earlier in the thread.

Guys on average speak about as much as women. Guys tend toward extremes - a lot of words or very few words - more than women do.

I have that issue as well..as a guy my facebook is never updated nor do I bother to check it. Maybe once a month and thats it. I don't really get the point of having an online billboard about myself. The only reason I update my facebook is merely to update either the city im located in or to update my job/education info. I only have 2 pics in my profile.

Instant messenger type chats i'm worse off. Its not that im not interested in talking to someone its just that its.. well, small talk.

I bet most of the responses you get are close ended and seem to not be geared to continuing the small talk. Its not done on purpose. The 'no response' and 'conversations dont go far' is because we (or at least in my case) dont process small talk. Its pointless. If there's no point to to it then there's no response we can come up with to continue a pointless discussion.

By point I mean an objective purpose to it. When the other person notices that I don't 'grease' the conversation with open ended replies that can lead to other things to talk about they wind down the conversation and it eventually ends... this usually takes less than 15 minutes.

My close ended replies give the impression that im not receptive to the conversation... which I am its just that I can't go with its flow.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkQkMi1JD3k[/youtube]

OTH, if its a conversation with a purpose... then yes, I can chat for hours no problem. Something needs to be fixed? Discussion on something in the news? Discussing ideas on a subject or brainstorming? NO PROBLEM.

Jumping spaztically from one subtopic to another that involve things like weather, what the other person said yesterday that made another person upset, the color of the clouds this moment or worse yet, what im doing now.... THAT has no point or purpose and my brain just flips the 'IGNORE' switch to the ON position. Its blissful conversational ADHD.

All the Aspie guys I've met online (until now) have always been chatterboxes.

I know exactly how you feel

Small talk or was there a subject of discussion?. Im just curious.