Can you help me make sense of this?

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Jamesy
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24 Jun 2011, 10:40 am

I know this is a bit of a off the wall topic on this part of the site but i just want too tackle this issue.

I myself have NO Hair . It sucks and i would love to have shaggy thick hair.


i am perplexed why are there so many men with really thick shaggy hair in the world who are not considered by the masses to be hot, handsome or sexy? I know a lot of guys with loads of hair who are considered too be ugly. I thought if your a guy its a blessing to have loads of hair yet still we have guys who loads of hair who are not considered to be convnetionally good looking.


Can you help me make sense of this? Maybe its cause i am autistic and lack a good theory of mind i cannot differ what i believe from other people?

Its like for example women consider sean connery who is bald to be conventionally handsome and guys with loads of hair like Adrian Broadey to not conventionally handsome.



mv
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24 Jun 2011, 11:07 am

It's because we're all individuals, each with our own subjective taste. It's not "always better" to have a full head of hair, that's just a perception based (maybe) on a general prejudice or trend. As for your specific examples: I think Sean Connery's face is attractive, regardless of his hair, whereae I don't find Adrien Brody's face (or physique) attractive at all. Those are just my opinions. Others might find Adrien much more attractive than Sean because Adrien is young and Sean no longer is.

I think a lot has to do with cranio-facial structure, too. Some men can pull off the bald look and some men cannot. Typically, the prevailing prejudice is that women are not attractive without lots of hair, and yet you don't see women avoiding cutting their hair short for that presumption. Some women look better in long hair, some look better in short hair. Some look good no matter what, some look "unattractive" (again, subjective) no matter what.

I think you worry about your physical characteristics too much. You've complained about your height (an unchangeable fact) but in reality you're taller than probably 85%-90% of the men in the world. You've complained endlessly about your lack of strength, but that's something you can change within reason. You can always grow your hair, and it may or may not look good on you, depending on other people's perceptions. You need to be comfortable with yourself, first and foremost.



Jamesy
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24 Jun 2011, 11:24 am

Yeah it always puzzled me why men who were lacking hair on top in a lot of cases could be considered more attractive than men with loads of hair.

With men would you agree its all about the face and nothing else since hair seems to be unimportant?

But you have to admit though that the media does send us the message that if your a guy being bald is frowned upon since so MANY men in the world get hair transplants and some women find it hard to stay faithful to there husbands when they start losing thier hair on top. a lot of women say "I want too be able to run my fingers through my husbands hair".

I mean how big is the hair transplant industry? massive probably.

Can i also point out that a lot of people would think that david beckham is much better loooking. than a shaggy haired guy like tom cruise. then again though people don't preceive beckham to be bald even though he has probably had a million hair transplant operations.



mv
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24 Jun 2011, 11:32 am

Jamesy wrote:
Yeah it always puzzled me why men who were lacking hair on top in a lot of cases could be considered more attractive than men with loads of hair.

With men would you agree its all about the face and nothing else since hair seems to be unimportant?

But you have to admit though that the media does send us the message that if your a guy being bald is frowned upon since so MANY men in the world get hair transplants and some women find it hard to stay faithful to there husbands when they start losing thier hair on top. a lot of women say "I want too be able to run my fingers through my husbands hair".

I mean how big is the hair transplant industry? massive probably.


Bold #1. Anything to sell products and prop up ridiculous industries. No one ever went broke by playing upon the insecurities of human beings. Who could possibly make money (and buy expensive airtime and magazine ads) by saying, "Love yourself as you are"?

Bold #2. Seriously? Okay, now you're just taking the piss. I've never known a single woman to do this, nor have I heard of other women doing this. If anything, in my experience women go out of their way to be sensitive to hair loss (if the guy is upset about it) because most women know what it's like to be judged solely on appearance. And, frankly, for some men their hair was their one attractive feature (as they (the men losing their hair) perceive it). Doesn't make it real in the eyes of others. I think it's more attractive to own your baldness than to have obvious hair transplants (they look like doll hair) or to somehow try to hide your baldness (huge combovers, etc.).

The hair transplant industry is up their with the diet and exercise industries, the clothing industry, the cosmetic surgery industry, etc. See point #1. Approval of one's appearance is subjective. Every one has their own taste. I think you're laboring under delusions sold to you by people who want your money. You have to learn to separate the wheat from the chaff. That's something that comes with wisdom.



Jamesy
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24 Jun 2011, 11:39 am

But i have read up that traditionally handsome men really should have a good full head of hair if you know what i mean.

Too be honest though you do not really get a lot of 'older' men with full heads of hair and the type of men who always keep there thick head of hair are not that common.

If you look at the actor Dusitn Hoffman when he was younger he looked awful with loads of dark thick hair but as he got older and kept his hair while a lot other men went bald all of a sudden hoffman became sexy and attractive. obviously though an older guy like sean connery is much better looking than hoffman.



emlion
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24 Jun 2011, 11:45 am

i love lack of hair. i mean look...

Image

Image

Image

Image



mv
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24 Jun 2011, 11:49 am

Now, see, I think Dustin Hoffman was sexier when he was younger. In his latest movies, he's been sporting that awful brush cut which (in my opinion) just looks overstyled on his face. All people lose hair as they age, some less than others. Women get thinner hair but (unless they have alopecia or something like it) tend not to lose it all, unlike some men. Some men don't lose their hair and go bald, but it definitely starts to thin at the temples and recede at the hairline. It's all a matter of genetics.

As for the stereotypes you've read, they're just stereotypes. "Handsome" men tend to look handsome no matter how much or how little hair they have. "Regular" guys can look good bald or with a full head of hair. It's all subjective. There's no "rule" about it.

Even hairstyles are subject to fashion. You see certain looks go in and out of style. Compare the ridiculous hairstyles of the 1980's with some of the sleeker styles of today. George Clooney (a handsome man, in my opinion, no matter what) looks great in that Caesar cut he's been rocking from time to time, but he also looked great in that 80's/90's floppy-on-top hairstyle.

If you're so hung up on your external appearance (and cannot separate yourself from that mindset), the most you can do is just look the best that you potentially can. We're all limited by genetics and age. People's attraction to us is subjective. For example, I personally like shorter, broader-built men. Your height would be too tall for me, initially, but if I got to know you and like you, I wouldn't notice your height anymore. Get it?



mv
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24 Jun 2011, 11:50 am

Emlion, yum! And those guys are just handsome anyway. Hair or no hair. "Good" cranio-facial structure. And you forgot Patrick Stewart. Hee!



emlion
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24 Jun 2011, 11:55 am

oh no! silly me.
yep, exactly the amount of hair is not important.
i'd go further to say the personality is more important, but thats hard to illustrate.



Jamesy
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24 Jun 2011, 11:57 am

So how come a bald women could never be considered more attractive than a women with a full head of hair yet a bald guy can be considered better than a guy with a full head of hair on his head?

I am sure those guys who are bald in emilon posts would look better than this guy who has loads of shaggy hair?
http://www.gettyimages.co.uk/detail/109 ... ertainment



liveandletdie
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24 Jun 2011, 12:11 pm

Funny all those bald people are wearing suits....so maybe the solution is wear a suit =)

Then you will look like some kind of secret agent...just not bond though...

Hair....well atleast you dont have to take care of a bunch of hair. That's one of the good things about being a man is you dont have so much upkeep.

If I grew out my hair it would look like a birds nest because I don't know how to take care of hair....so i keep it short.

Long hair is just one more thing to worry about, so quit worrying and buy a suit =)


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Northeastern292
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24 Jun 2011, 12:50 pm

liveandletdie wrote:
Funny all those bald people are wearing suits....so maybe the solution is wear a suit =)

Then you will look like some kind of secret agent...just not bond though...

Hair....well atleast you dont have to take care of a bunch of hair. That's one of the good things about being a man is you dont have so much upkeep.

If I grew out my hair it would look like a birds nest because I don't know how to take care of hair....so i keep it short.

Long hair is just one more thing to worry about, so quit worrying and buy a suit =)


Every girl loves a guy who wears a suit!



Jamesy
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24 Jun 2011, 12:53 pm

do you agree that a beutiful full head of hair on a guy cannot hide an unattractive face?



liveandletdie
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24 Jun 2011, 1:15 pm

Jamesy wrote:
do you agree that a beutiful full head of hair on a guy cannot hide an unattractive face?


ya probably wouldn't make a whole lot of difference...probably make them look worse actually.

no hair on a man just makes you look more adult....too much hair if have a strange/ugly/unattractive face could make you look crazy.

There's no one box fits all though and what works for some wont work for all.


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Jamesy
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24 Jun 2011, 7:18 pm

i guess keeping your hair can pay off in the long run when all ur friends go bald and u don't?