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PinkRangerV
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30 Jun 2011, 12:31 am

My dad is a royal pain in my posterior, and that's the politest thing I've ever wanted to say about him. But he's my dad, I live with him and my mom, so I try to offer to meet him halfway.

Since he really considers chores important, I try to meet him halfway by talking about chores. I'll ask things like, "Okay, so you consider cleaning my room a higher priority than the kitchen laundry, which I consider the opposite way--how about we sit down and talk it out so we're on the same page?", and I'm met with a response of "The highest priority is what I say it is!", usually with some nonsense about how "you don't tell me what to do in this house!".

My mom is nothing like this. She raised us as junior adults, not as subservient children. My dad comes from a very patriarchal, old-school family with some astonishing issues, like my grandmother honestly thinking that Obama is Muslim.

I know I tend to be a dog with a bone when I see my dad being annoying. I'm trying to scale that back, because it's clearly not helpful, but is there another tack I can try to get him to loosen up and meet me halfway? We don't actually share many interests, and those we do share (like Star Wars), he tends to condescend to me about. And just ignoring him is a bad option--he constantly speaks with the implication that he's furious about how little housework we evil children do, which makes me want to punch him in the face, especially after three days of helping run the house with no help from him.

Help?


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leejosepho
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30 Jun 2011, 8:16 am

PinkRangerV wrote:
... I tend to be a dog with a bone ...
... is there another tack I can try to get him to loosen up and meet me halfway?

Just do the things needing to be done and stop challenging your dad.


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Surfman
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30 Jun 2011, 5:00 pm

Who has worked for all the things you have?

Respect his decisions(to a point), right or wrong



PinkRangerV
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30 Jun 2011, 5:38 pm

Surfman wrote:
Who has worked for all the things you have?

Respect his decisions(to a point), right or wrong


Um, no, the one who works for everything is my mom. I understand the philosophy behind that, but that's the same 'justification' my dad uses to treat me and the others like we don't deserve a say in anything. And while I do respect his sane decisions, his decisions are usually not just illogical, but so impractical that they take hours to complete and then defeat the original purpose.


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Wuffles
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01 Jul 2011, 9:42 am

Just clean your room.

Totally with your Dad on this one. In fact, if it was me, I'd make you extra chores just for arguing.