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Even for an Aspie, I am so socially inept. Never had a GF

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Lene
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01 Jul 2011, 1:35 pm

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Not really into the divorcee mother thing, sorry.


Now we're being fussy!

Kidding, each to their own. What about female teachers?



justjelliot
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01 Jul 2011, 2:40 pm

Lene wrote:
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Not really into the divorcee mother thing, sorry.


Now we're being fussy!

Kidding, each to their own. What about female teachers?


Or subs? I've been a sub for four years, and some of us are pretty fine. Plus, you won't see us every single day like you would other teachers.


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RICKY5
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01 Jul 2011, 4:30 pm

Lene wrote:
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Not really into the divorcee mother thing, sorry.


Now we're being fussy!

Kidding, each to their own. What about female teachers?


It's ok as long as she's not asking him to do s**t for the kid before putting out.



Adam82
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01 Jul 2011, 5:44 pm

Lene wrote:
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Not really into the divorcee mother thing, sorry.


Now we're being fussy!

Kidding, each to their own. What about female teachers?


Well, that would be my ideal type!

Sadly, my latest friendzone/oneitis/unrequited love whatever you want to call it is a female teacher the same age as me, who of course, already has a BF.



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01 Jul 2011, 11:48 pm

LikeGreenAndBlue wrote:
I feel exactly the same way. Women are almost never interested in me and especially the pretty and hot ladies. It seems like they just don't feel any attraction to me.

Everytime there is a hot lady I want to ask out, she either already has a boyfriend, is just not interested in me and politely tells me to get lost or just comes up with another excuse not to date me.

Maybe it's because they don't like my personality or maybe it is my bad karma getting back at me. Or maybe God simply doesn't want me to have a girlfriend. I don't know really.

Being hot has almost no bearing on compatibility other than being able to stand looking at her. Just because a really charismatic NT guy can charm just about any hot girl he wants into going out with him doesn't mean that it will work out for very long. If you don't know this, you are probably not to the point with your people skills where you could find or keep someone who is a great match (regardless if they are as hot as you were hoping for) and you should consider seeing a counselor (not a sex therapist), and if you already know this then you are just plain foolish.


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justjelliot
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02 Jul 2011, 12:10 am

Adam82 wrote:
Sadly, my latest friendzone/oneitis/unrequited love whatever you want to call it is a female teacher the same age as me, who of course, already has a BF.


Well Romeo, what are you waiting for? As the great Beyonce pointed out, if he likes her he should put the ring on her. If she has no ring, then what are you waiting for? Sweep her off her feet, show her how much more awesome you are than her boyfriend, let them break up, and then make your move.

I say this like the idealistic I still am, and I have done the steps above (or tried to) before. The results have never been pretty.

Take my advice with a few POUNDS of salt.


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LikeGreenAndBlue
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02 Jul 2011, 1:58 pm

John_Browning wrote:
If you don't know this, you are probably not to the point with your people skills where you could find or keep someone who is a great match (regardless if they are as hot as you were hoping for) and you should consider seeing a counselor (not a sex therapist), and if you already know this then you are just plain foolish.


Counselors are probably a waste of time. I have been to several psychologists in the past and none of them really helped me forget about my crush.

A psychiatrist can help me more because he/she can actually give medications which deal with brain disorders.

I just wish there was some sort of antilove or anti-obsession drug or medication that can help people completely forget about their object of their obsession and not fall in love with them ever again. Such a thing will save a lot of people (both male and female) a lot of grief.



nick007
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02 Jul 2011, 2:14 pm

LikeGreenAndBlue wrote:
I just wish there was some sort of antilove or anti-obsession drug or medication that can help people completely forget about their object of their obsession and not fall in love with them ever again. Such a thing will save a lot of people (both male and female) a lot of grief.

I know from personal experience that there is nothing like that. Meds can cause you to zone out more & care about things less but it's like that with everything & not just the obsession, love, crush ect. Meds might make you less emotional & not as psychotic but you still have to deal with it


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justjelliot
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02 Jul 2011, 3:52 pm

LikeGreenAndBlue wrote:
John_Browning wrote:
If you don't know this, you are probably not to the point with your people skills where you could find or keep someone who is a great match (regardless if they are as hot as you were hoping for) and you should consider seeing a counselor (not a sex therapist), and if you already know this then you are just plain foolish.


Counselors are probably a waste of time. I have been to several psychologists in the past and none of them really helped me forget about my crush.

A psychiatrist can help me more because he/she can actually give medications which deal with brain disorders.

I just wish there was some sort of antilove or anti-obsession drug or medication that can help people completely forget about their object of their obsession and not fall in love with them ever again. Such a thing will save a lot of people (both male and female) a lot of grief.


This made me think of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.


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02 Jul 2011, 10:03 pm

justjelliot wrote:
Adam82 wrote:
Sadly, my latest friendzone/oneitis/unrequited love whatever you want to call it is a female teacher the same age as me, who of course, already has a BF.


Well Romeo, what are you waiting for? As the great Beyonce pointed out, if he likes her he should put the ring on her. If she has no ring, then what are you waiting for? Sweep her off her feet, show her how much more awesome you are than her boyfriend, let them break up, and then make your move.

I say this like the idealistic I still am, and I have done the steps above (or tried to) before. The results have never been pretty.

Take my advice with a few POUNDS of salt.


Believe me, I'd like to sweep her off her feet. And I agree, put a ring on her finger already, and put me out of my misery. At least then I'd know she's totally out of bounds.



Lene
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03 Jul 2011, 8:40 am

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And I agree, put a ring on her finger already, and put me out of my misery. At least then I'd know she's totally out of bounds.


Can I give you a bit of advice? Stop talking about women as if they are cattle. She's out of bounds when she says she's out of bounds,regardless of whether another guy 'puts a ring on it'. Taking relationship advice from R&B songs isn't always the smartest thing to do...



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04 Jul 2011, 3:46 pm

On-line dating is a joke....way more women than men, at least for the under 40 crowd. I've never once gotten a female to answer one of my messages. Escorts or getting a foreign bride is the best idea....you just need the money first.



justjelliot
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04 Jul 2011, 4:58 pm

SadAspy wrote:
On-line dating is a joke....way more women than men, at least for the under 40 crowd. I've never once gotten a female to answer one of my messages. Escorts or getting a foreign bride is the best idea....you just need the money first.


I have had nearly the exact opposite experience with online dating. What site do you use? Perhaps I could be of some help. The only problem I have with online dating is not enough time or money to date all the women available.


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AsteroidNap
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04 Jul 2011, 5:09 pm

SadAspy wrote:
On-line dating is a joke....way more women than men, at least for the under 40 crowd. I've never once gotten a female to answer one of my messages. Escorts or getting a foreign bride is the best idea....you just need the money first.


Yeah online dating sites are dodgey at best. I tried an experiment once where, after having filled out the pages of questions and tests as honestly as I could and never getting a hit, I scrubbed my account and reapplied to the site as a jockish, egotistical, mean-spirited dude. Lo and behold, I got dozens of hits in that character. I never followed through with any of those however. After that, I was well-put off by dating sites.



SadAspy
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05 Jul 2011, 11:52 pm

Oops...just realized I said more women than men when I meant the opposite. Oh well...I think people got my point.

I

justjelliot wrote:
have had nearly the exact opposite experience with online dating. What site do you use? Perhaps I could be of some help. The only problem I have with online dating is not enough time or money to date all the women available.


I've used several different ones, but I guess the one that stands out as being most useless is match.com. Eharmony is a close second.



justjelliot
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06 Jul 2011, 1:55 pm

SadAspy wrote:
Oops...just realized I said more women than men when I meant the opposite. Oh well...I think people got my point.

I
justjelliot wrote:
have had nearly the exact opposite experience with online dating. What site do you use? Perhaps I could be of some help. The only problem I have with online dating is not enough time or money to date all the women available.


I've used several different ones, but I guess the one that stands out as being most useless is match.com. Eharmony is a close second.


I hated eharmony. I never paid for it, just a few free weekends, and I thought it stupid I could only message people they matched me to, and the people they matched me to insisted I follow the set format of three questions, must haves can't stands, etc. Match was ok. I recommend you try okcupid. It's free. I would glad to be of some help if you would like, I get, at lowest, a 25 percent return on girls I send messages to responding, so I must be doing something right


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