Fellow Aspies: Help please!! !?

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I am now about to be 21 and suffered from Aspergers since I was young. I've made great strides since(I can usually make eye contact and I always can hold a conversation). My question here is, how many of you have sort of "outgrown" some symptoms, yet you still struggle with nervousness, paranoia, depression, obsessions, all related to my social phobia with Aspergers?? I also have a question, how do you relate with opposite sex? I am a 6'1 ,good looking guy in pretty good shape(from what other people have told me and I have had girls hitting on me since I was 10), but I just don't know how to take it(I am still a virgin), because numerous girls have thought I was either "gay" or just "weird"... One girl told my cousin "hes hot, but he is to weird for me"... That made me feel bad, I mean I really want to change my personality, I never asked god to make me nervous around people and girls, I just can't help it sometimes and I am not a big talker(only with my good friends and my parents, grandparents and certain cousins). My whole life I went thru having 1-2 friends, if that. When I was very young, it wasn't that bad and I could socialize regularly, my only problem was ADHD, but I used to have a lot of friends(mainly kids from school and children of my moms/dads friends)... As I got older, it started getting worse... I started getting anti-social, then I got into fights(i was very non-violent, but I was made fun of a lot and when I spoke out, people hit me and I was not afraid to hit back, my dad always taught me to)... It led to me going to a Juvenile Hall type school(it was hell for me), boot camp, etc, etc... I had it rough and I think it just made it worse. Fortunately after all of that(that was at 14, at 15 I went back to a Special Ed envoirment) and i got my life back together...... Right now its okay, just sometimes I feel like a weirdo, I don't have many friends, never had a girlfriend, and I get very anxious is social situations. Even with my own cousins and large family. I hate it. Sometimes I feel my own family feels theres something wrong with me, so i get weird around them and not very talkative(its a big family)


How do some of you(if any) deal with these issues?

Thanks

I don't know if it helps, but you're not alone. I know the feeling about 'outgrowing' your symptoms but being left with the anxiety etc...

I haven't found a cure for it yet except to treat it as a brick wall and keep banging your head against it... keep exposing yourself to social interaction and evaluate afterwards what you did well, what you messed up and how you'd do it dfferently next time...

Don't beat yourself up when you make a mistake and be optimistic; eventually you might bash through...

I hang around other weird people

just a quick note, I don't THINK you can have aspergers since you were young, but only because it's more likely you were born with it. Lots of tests being done in dna for that one!
One the problems with girls, they look at you and think yeh I want him, because you look normal and attractive yes? And when you feel your autistic side come out or you do things that seem normal to you but weird to others, or you say slightly odd things, girls will think, ok, why did he say that he's weird. I'm afraid I've come across lots of people like that, ESPECIALLY girls, who have no idea of how the autistic mind works. They seem to want the perfect boyfriend, and when they see you act in your little autistic ways, they are put off and maybe call you weird. I would say the best solution is to yes, keep going, if people cant understand you are different, thats their problem. They cant change you, and they will most likely never grasp your difficulties because they cant make the connection between autism/aspergers and the way you look normal. Try to find other strange and slightly odd people, not nessecarily autistic ones, but maybe people who prefer to watch films or go to the park or write music, something without lots of people in to judge you and make you feel down about yourself for being different. Eventually, I think a girl will accept you for who you are, and wont try to change you or call you weird because she'll be able to see you're a good hearted person who struggles with things. She's most likely not very sociable herself and prefers having a few close friends instead of a big group. Hope that helps you in some way!