How can I get control of my social security?

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GreySun369
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05 Jul 2011, 4:15 am

Since I am over the age of 18 now I know I should legally be able to get control of my own SSI, however the problem is I have an emotionally abusive and controlling mother who handles all of my information and won't allow me to access it.

I know a social security card is one of the important things you need to do things like find a job or apply for ID, and I know where my Mom keeps my social security card. I have a couple of questions regarding how I can obtain it without having to actually confront her about it.

Question 1: Would it be illegal for me to just steal the card from her wallet and leave? Since it's supposed to be my personal information I would think there's no way she can press criminal charges for taking what should be rightfully mine, right?

Question 2: My card is not signed yet, but I read that I can sign it once I am over the age of 18. Are there a bunch of overly-complicated steps involved in getting it signed or can I just write down my name as soon as I get the card from her?

Whoever helps me thank you very much. I'm going to work towards trying to get my social security card, an ID card, and my birth certificate, then I will gather what little money I can and pack up a few things so that I can leave my horrible family behind and look for a new job and place to live. I'm really tired of enduring unnecessary drama and I just want to live a peaceful life for myself.



oddone
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05 Jul 2011, 4:35 am

Most parents would expect a child over 18 to take responsibility for their own social security, benefits and education and work choices. In most countries a Social Security card is government property, and is issued for your use so you wouldn't commit an offence if you just took it. However that might not be the best approach, and you will still need your family's support until you are working and settled in a new home.

What are your parents attitudes to your involvement in work and education?

In most countries you can obtain a copy of your (or anyone else's) birth certificate from the registrar on payment of a small fee so you don't need the 'original'.



arielhawksquill
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05 Jul 2011, 8:41 am

No, it is not illegal for you to take your own Social Security card, even if it involves touching your mother's wallet to do it. Memorize your Social Security number once you do get it--you'll be asked to write it down on forms and such for the rest of your life.

I applaud your decision to take control of your own destiny.



sacrip
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05 Jul 2011, 9:01 am

Even if you couldn't get the card from her, you could always just go to the social security office, tell them you lost your card, show them a birth certificate and a drivers licence and get one of your own. And the card itself is less important than simply knowing what the number is. Find it and memorize it, if you haven't already.


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leejosepho
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05 Jul 2011, 9:18 am

sacrip wrote:
Even if you couldn't get the card from her, you could always just go to the social security office, tell them you lost your card ...

Do not lie to them. Just go to the social security office and tell them exactly what is going on ... and then do whatever you must (based on whatever they say) even if that means making some kind of police report. In the end, you are likely going to have to go into court and file a petition for emancipation since your parents presently have legitimate control of your benefits.


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GreySun369
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05 Jul 2011, 10:03 am

Thanks everybody, As soon as I've gathered everything I need I'm going to take my social security card and just walk out the door. I've also contacted three of my old teachers who said they would be happy to be used as references for when I go job hunting, I just hope I can actually find a job. Even if it ends up being something I wll hate for the rest of my life I will do it as long as it pays enough to live on. Then I will work towards trying to find a house, I guess a cheap studio apartment somewhere would work best for me. It's not like I need that much space or luxury. I'm also going to try and make it out of this city on foot, I don't really have enough money to buy a bus ticket and I will need the little money I have for important things, so I'm going to start studying a map of the area until I memorize all the roads and can figure out how to travel around the city.

Even if I do have Aspergers, I'm sure that with a little initiative I will make it out there. But If I keep waiting for my mother to give me "permission" to become independant, that probably won't happen until it's too late. I just need to start doing something soon or else I will regret not taking control of my life.