Is it just me or an autistic trait?

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It seems like my biggest problem is that I never use effort at times when it would've been necessary; I cannot remember any time in my life where I have used full effort towards something. It seems that I am always trying to make things more complicated than they need to be (often in chess tournaments I will play badly on purpose to give myself a better challenge) for some subconscious reason I am trying to figure out.

1) Fear: It is possible that I am simply afraid of the uncertainty that would arise if my talents were well-known, so I hold back most of my potential effort. I wouldn't want people to be intimidated by me and want to challenge me (like how some other countries try to kill off the most intelligent) and also I wouldn't want people clinging to me for guidance, expecting that I am always going to perform up to their standards.

2) Shock-value: It is also possible that other people are not amusing enough to me, so I am simply trying to have fun by experimenting with others' emotions. Maybe I want people to think low of me when they first meet me, so I wait for the correct time to reveal my talents, simply because I want to observe the reactions of people who once thought I was just a worthless failure, and then found out that I wasn't.

3) It is also possible that I simply don't care enough about what others think, it seems illogical to use effort to influence their mind, so I am only able to use satisfactory effort when doing things for myself. This is a big problem because almost all occupations (besides "homeless person" or "career criminal") require you to change your mindset to please other people.


The most common mindsets of people seem to be:
#1 Normal job: Pretend to care about others to fulfill your own needs.
#2 Normal social life: Base your life on using effort to please friends.
#3 Resentful loner: Don't use effort unless it is to directly satisfy yourself.

#3 is how most people/animals lived long ago, but nowadays the number of people with a #1/#2 mindset is growing, so the #3 lifestyle is frowned upon. I've been told that I need to change my mindset to avoid becoming a bum/thief, but I think it's possible for all the mindsets to co-exist if they would simply not try to change each other. I am going to start making my chess videos more often from now on (www.youtube.com/user/byakuugan86) and ignoring people who are telling me to get a job. I wouldn't mind just being the scraggly guy who uses the starbucks wi-fi all day and never talks, as long as I had financial support from my subscribers or another source. If I didn't, I would probably just dumpster dive and shoplift all the time.

I don't know if this is necessarily an autistic trait, but I do it sometimes too.

This is interesting. I do this too when I know Im being put into a box where I dont belong. The thing is that people think about stuff they are afraid of themselves, therefore its easy to know what they wannabe when I know how they think of me as a first impression.

Later I have fun with their confusion

I would say I do this because its irritating to be judged by the easy rules of a boring person, and not solely because I want to experiment. Its a natural reaction.

I've imagined and thought about doing that, but I've never actually done it.

Well, actually it can be done a lot of ways, because as soon as I know how a person is judging around, I can pick an opportunity to refer to that persons fears etc. in a casual situation, and observe how the persons brain gets started.

The most fun is when I manage to put the person in the role that he/she gave me, but this mostly only the person and me (but the person mostly doesnt know that I know) understand. (If we are a group of people)

I sound crazy again, sorry...

I think most Aspies tend to naturally attempt to "indirectly challenge" someone's beliefs or lifestlye. Most Aspies don't see any logic in judging or jumping to conclusions based on opinions (not facts), so they need to observe the behaviors of people who do, to see how they can possibly function.

I do the "not trying" thing too. It's like I'm trying to see how bad I can let a situation get before I have to jump in and save myself. Except a few times I've waited too long to save myself, so I'm consciously trying to kick this subconscious habit