What are your conflicts with authority figures like?

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byakuugan
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12 Jul 2011, 11:57 pm

Policemen, teachers, security guards, etc....

Mine are half and half. Sometimes my social mannerisms are very offensive to them, but other times they don't think anything of the way I act and are glad that I am cooperative and non-confrontational.
My best conflict was with a policeman who caught me smoking weed in a shopping center. I showed him the weed like he asked and gave him all my information like he asked, then he gave the weed back and told me not to smoke it in public (he never even asked me for my recommendation).
My worst conflict was with a security guard at a Vegas hotel where there was a chess tournament. I was waiting for my friend to finish his game because he had the hotel card and knew where our room was. I was sitting perfectly still and my hair was in front of my face so a security guard must've thought I was sleeping. He came up to me and told me I can't sleep here. I said "I'm not" and he got offended and started yelling at me. I tried telling him that I was waiting for my friend, but for some reason he thought my friend was imaginary and kept yelling at me that I can't sleep here, but luckily another player came out and saved me, but if he hadn't, I think I would've gotten into trouble. I hated how he judged me by my vocal tone when I am not even conscious of it.



BillyIdolFan217
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13 Jul 2011, 1:21 am

I`m terrified of policemen!! And I cry when I get yelled at I can`t handle that! I try to be good and avoid them at all coasts. Except my Uncles are in the force but they`re my uncles so I`m not afraid of them.


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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13 Jul 2011, 1:49 am

When I have a grievance, I don't much care what sort of authority someone holds. Apparently, this makes me kind of scary. :lol:


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Dox47
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13 Jul 2011, 2:19 am

After the echoes fade and the last shell casing hits the ground, I get along with authorities just fine... :lol:
Actually, though I detest authority on a philosophical level, I tend to do just fine with it's representatives in person, at least in part because I'm not physically threatened by them, and they don't know the actual lay of the land when they interact with me. I make it into an internal deception game, and that allows me to calmly and pleasantly deal with cops and the like even if I'd like to get angry about something they're doing; having options allows me to view the situation rationally rather than emotionally.


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marshall
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13 Jul 2011, 2:36 am

My problem isn't the philosophical notion of authority itself. I understand the necessity of power hierarchies in life. The problem is people with obnoxious personality traits are often attracted to having authority. Meanwhile more sensible thinking people don't have the slightest interest in gaining authority over others.



Kookygirl
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13 Jul 2011, 2:38 am

I'm compliant and polite if I think they're being reasonable. I understand they often have a difficult job sometimes and don't reLly want to add to their grief.

If I think they're they're being unreasonable though I will make a stand and get my point across. It's unfortunate but some people do abuse positions of power and the less resistance they get the more they do it.


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keira
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13 Jul 2011, 2:42 am

My conflicts with authority figures are usually caused by my inability to shut up when I should. Chances are that I just won't care if someone is the authority figure if I think that that someone is wrong. The reason for conflicts is that I can't fake respect and I don't respect people who are disrespectful towards me or others even if they are authority figures. I've been told that my lack of respect shows most of the time.



Surfman
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13 Jul 2011, 3:35 am

Kookygirl wrote:
I'm compliant and polite if I think they're being reasonable. I understand they often have a difficult job sometimes and don't reLly want to add to their grief.

If I think they're they're being unreasonable though I will make a stand and get my point across. It's unfortunate but some people do abuse positions of power and the less resistance they get the more they do it.


Same same. I have been known to approach police stating I am a supporter of cannabis law reform, and then begin a conversation with them.

Most people would have fear



bee33
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13 Jul 2011, 5:03 am

I used to be very defiant and was outraged at injustice and people throwing their authority around, and I would often call them on it. But over the years I have learned to be much more diplomatic. I try to think of other people's feelings, especially security guards' -- they are often the lowest person on a given totem pole. I feel more sorry for security guards than I feel outraged, though they are often the most obnoxious and least reasonable. But to be perfectly honest I think cops are largely despicable...



TB
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13 Jul 2011, 5:14 am

same thing what others have said about respect, when i respect someone i will do almost anything for them. But on the other hand disrespect ussually starts when people tell me to do things because they say so. And tell me to stop asking why it should be done or be done in that specific way. I ask things because it will help me perform better and make my own decisions on what is most beneficial. I hate it when people just want to do things like it has always been done even though it might not be the best way to do it. Just shut up and dont think, i despise that mentality. But hey its only at places i would not want to work at anyway that show this.



Last edited by TB on 13 Jul 2011, 5:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

Henbane
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13 Jul 2011, 5:16 am

I have mixed relationships with authority figures.

I don't mind authority itself. But I do mind when someone is in authority over me and others and they are misusing this authority. Having been in middle management I've got into trouble in the past with not accepting instructions that I feel are unfair, especially when they are expecting me to implement unfair new procedures or expectations of staff. My sense of justice has made these sorts of situations very difficult, and contributed to my last breakdown.

Having lived in quite rough areas as a child means I also have an automatic distrust of the police. While I recognise that most police officers are genuinely trying to protect the public, if I ever see them I feel uncomfortable. Having witnessed their behaviour at demonstrations etc, I realise that their priority is to protect the state and status quo more than individual citizens.

And when it comes to government officials, I know they use underhand tactics, for example in spying on people, deliberately trying to confuse people and so on, when it comes to benefits claims.

Hmm, doesn't actually seem like I have anything positive to say at all.. oh well.



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13 Jul 2011, 10:15 am

It so happens I'm experiencing real issues with my supervisor at work. At the core, I don't think she's very effective as a manager; yet, other people in my department seem to put up with her incompetence just because she has this bubbly, outgoing personality. That really ticks me off. I just don't think personality should trump competence in the work place. But from what I've read, this is a common complaint among Aspies.



abyssquick
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13 Jul 2011, 10:28 am

Police have usually approached me. I would be walking somewhere, and all of a sudden there would be blue lights, a demanding voice, and a flashlight in the face. I had to stop walking to stores after dark because I found myself being stopped, detained, frisked almost every time I left the house. Just for walking on a public sidewalk. I even wore light colors and had a flashlight to make it known I was out doing stuff. They kept putting me in a position that is not safe, due to potential miscommunication - I also have very little tolerance for people who abuse their authority or attempt to trick me through wording into incriminating myself on matters of my ignorance. Verbal deceit is a big pet peeve, because I always walk RIGHT into it. The personality traits attracted to authority positions are some of the most obnoxious of human attributes. Talking to the leiutennant about 'reasonable suspicion' laws that govern an officer's ability to detain a person, and about my innate constitutional rights was only met with deflective, indignant responses. It happened more than a dozen times over the last 18 months. I'm moving out of the state of FL after that particular experience. Backwards-ass land America is becoming.



Last edited by abyssquick on 13 Jul 2011, 11:19 am, edited 2 times in total.

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13 Jul 2011, 10:31 am

Its usually my inability to 'read between the lines' and follow vague and unclear instructions. Either I do it wrong because I can't understand what they are gibbering on about or I ask "Stupid Questions" and they think I am being purposefully frustrating.

I think it's because most NTs seem pretty smart across the board. If they are smart in one area, they are smart in pretty much every other area too. So they see me do something difficult like it's childsplay and they just can't seem to process it when they come across my deficiencies. They assume I'm oppositional when I'm just trying to stay afloat.

A lot of the time, if they give me a chance, they can come to understand my unique skill set. But when it's a brief encounter where I can't follow 'simple' instructions I have some huge issues.

"What's wrong with you?" Is the phrase that I usually get.



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13 Jul 2011, 11:12 am

I don't respect someone just because they have authority, whatever that is....depending on the threat level I may or may not submit to the authority. Like if I am in a situation involving cops my brain/body goes into complete panic mode and so I try and comply but then it gets overwhelming and confusing which makes me seem difficult I guess. Last time this happened I think the fact that I came off as completely horrified took away from any appearance of resisistance I might have exibited. But even then I only let it go so far...I was certianly not going to admit I was stoned as that was not even why they were there not to mention if I had that would have caused bad consequences for others.

When I was younger I was more likely to respect authority just because it was authority, but now I question it a lot more....I certainly don't do well with people trying to behave as though they are some how superior and have the right to boss me around. Unless they can respect me and talk to me like a person and not an object I am not going to respect them or what they say. I guess I agree with respect being earned not automatically given.



roccoslife
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13 Jul 2011, 11:27 am

With me if someone tells me to do something, it usually goes in one ear and out the other. E.g Im taking driving lessons now and no matter how many times my instructor tells me to do something I still end up doing it my way instead of the way he tells me to do it, not checking mirrors before I turn, etc etc. Its just a subconsious thing, I dont mean to be disobedient it just sort of happens.

Back when I was in school I never used to do my homework either, the teachers used to assume I didnt do it just to get on their nerves, but that wasnt the case, I hated getting in trouble, mainly because I knew they would shout at me and I hated being the centre of attention, still do. Not doing what I was asked is just a habit of mine and I dont know why I do it, of course they never used to understand that and I spent most of my school life having at least one detention a week (wasnt diagnosed with aspergers till I was 22, so I went to a mainstream school).

Its also played havoc with work, Ive been fired by so many jobs simply because I never saw what the big deal was with me turning up 10-15 minutes late. I knew it annoyed my bosses but I just didnt see why it was a problem if I still worked 8 hours. That was a major factor in why I gave up working, Ive been claiming disabilty allowance and income support for 5 years now, I want to go back to work soon though, I just hope I can get a handle on my timekeeping now.