It's not my fault
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,469
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
20 Jul 2011, 11:13 am
MR20 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
That is really up to you......I mean if you do nothing then things probably do not change
Things won't change regardless, have you people read any of my threads? I've tried all of that stuff in the past yet people only like to look at outward appearances and make judgement on people. Because my face is kinda deformed and I act a little slow they still viewed me as a ret*d regardless of how I dressed.
Do you have any goals at all? not talking about long term huge ones, but sometimes even focusing on small goals can sometimes be helpful.
I had two naive goals of going to a big time college and working out to impress women a few years back. That's when I believe the "try hard enough" crap people spouted on this board. Then reality kicked back in; How would I make it to any college if I couldn't pass the GED test. I have nothing more than a fifth grade education and I can barely do simple fractions and time tables.
I've grown to dislike women over the years, it especially makes me mad that a few "friends' that were jerks to me and just used me for my stuff could get any girls they want while I can't even get so much as a hug from them. They had women falling all over them while I had no shot because of how my face looked and how I acted, and I figured out working out at a gym wouldn't change that. But somehow I fooled myself into thinking that I tried hard enough something would happen, even after countless attempts in the past proved fruitless.
Come to think of it girls were the worst type of bullies I had growing up. They'd trick me into thinking they would go out with me just embarrass me in front of their friends or people in school, just for amusement. After numerous attempts at asking girls out in my teens (believe me it was a lot) I didn't get anywhere not so much as a phone number. Of course they were very mean when rejecting me; "Go out.. with you? hahah" "psst who would be caught dead seen in public with you" "You're funny lookin' and you act weird, aren't there girls like you in special ed?"
No one wanted to go out with the special ed, slow, ret*d looking kid that's a weirdo. Looking back on it I hated them so much because of the way they made me feel about myself.
But yeah the best advice I can really give for now is try not to be so hard on yourself that only makes you feel worse.
I'm a realist. This is what I truly see myself as. I don't fool myself with BS optimism like most people do on this site.
Alright well maybe thing's won't change, I mean I can't say they will after all I am not living your life. I am more of a pessimist than an optimist. so I suck at the trying to give good optimistic advice. You have only mentioned specifically what sounds like math.....how are you at other subjects? Either way any math beyond 5th grade level I suck at, I am not sure why the highschool I went to ended up passing me in math I probably should not have.
And I am a girl but yeah girls can be horrid with their bullying....at least when boys picked on me they would just say something to my face so at least I knew what was going on on, but the girls liked to use deception for some reason. So i know how much that sucks.
21 Jul 2011, 12:42 pm
MR20 wrote:
MrXxx wrote:
If you don't try at all, you are guaranteed to fail.
I've tried plenty of times and it's never worked out. No matter what I did people never accepted me. I've never had a real connection with a non-family person and I probably never will. It saddens me deeply whenever I think about that, but it's the thruth.
Quit quitting on yourself. If you quit on yourself, there's nothing anyone can do to help you.
Everyone else has given up on helping me and befriending me, so what difference does it make?
Are you even listening to yourself? Put yourself across the room. Pretend you are one of your own friends, and listen to yourself.
What you you do?
No one can help a drowning man who's pulling down the people trying to save him. At some point, they have to pull away or they both drown.
Think about it. You really need to start by changing the way you're speaking to yourself. But you can't expect to just say a few positive things and your life magically changes. You have to do it, keep doing it, and never stop doing it.
That's how it works.
If you're bent on trashing yourself, and won't stop trashing yourself, there really isn't anything anyone here can do to help.
If you CAN'T stop trashing yourself, I HIGHLY recommend seeing somebody about the probability that you are currently suffering from serious depression. It may be only temporary, it may be long term. It sounds dangerous right now to me.
You need to get some help. I'm serious. Help that we can't give you here.
_________________
I'm not likely to be around much longer. As before when I first signed up here years ago, I'm finding that after a long hiatus, and after only a few days back on here, I'm spending way too much time here again already. So I'm requesting my account be locked, banned or whatever. It's just time. Until then, well, I dunno...
LuckyLeft
Sea Gull
Joined: 17 Jul 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 203
Location: Southeast Georgia, United States
21 Jul 2011, 1:01 pm
MR20 wrote:
I'm not that good at any other subjects. I like History though
That might be something you can hone onto. I've been fond of History since I was a child, and am still fascinated by it (though not nearly as excessive as it was as I was younger)
I'm more of a pessimist than optimist, in general, so I'm not really that good at giving advice. But there has to be something in your life that fascinates you, and I don't have to be great at advice to say that.....
21 Jul 2011, 1:12 pm
I'm sorry that your childhood was so bad.
I have good parents, but my first 3 and half years of elementary school, weren't very good at all. The principal was very harsh on me. He would pick me up and carry me to the office if I had a meltdown and wouldn't put me in a yellow chair. I was really good academically in grade 1, got know one ever noticed. The just noticed how bad my social skills were and how "disrespectful" I was. It's interesting because the only report cards that say I was disrespectful are my grade 1 report cards. Grade 1 was probably the toughest year of school, I had friends, but the teachers' didn't consider them my friends. I guess they had a different definition of "friend" than I did. They put calming strategies in place for my anxiety, and they didn't work, and I knew that they weren't very effective, so didn't use them. If they hadn't given me extremely high social exceptions, they wouldn't have been dealing with the anxiety. Oh, and did I mention that they were only doing this to benefit THEMSELVES? At least, that's what it seemed like.
It got better during the second half of grade 3 though.
22 Jul 2011, 1:03 am
MrXxx wrote:
If you CAN'T stop trashing yourself, I HIGHLY recommend seeing somebody about the probability that you are currently suffering from serious depression. It may be only temporary, it may be long term. It sounds dangerous right now to me.
You need to get some help. I'm serious. Help that we can't give you here.
What do you mean by "dangerous"? Do you mean suicide? If so, why would that be so bad. I'm 25, I have no education, no job, friends, GFs, I'm poor, and I have no real prospects for a future. I've been miserable and alone for the better part of my life, why not just let go. It's not like it's going to get any better.
Is life really worth living for me at this point?
25 Jul 2011, 9:17 am
LuckyLeft wrote:
MR20 wrote:
I'm not that good at any other subjects. I like History though
That might be something you can hone onto. I've been fond of History since I was a child, and am still fascinated by it (though not nearly as excessive as it was as I was younger)
I'm more of a pessimist than optimist, in general, so I'm not really that good at giving advice. But there has to be something in your life that fascinates you, and I don't have to be great at advice to say that.....
A few things. Video games, anime, space, and snowboarding
