Do you hate it when people turn up at your home uninvited?

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scrulie
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01 Sep 2006, 5:30 am

[quote="SmallFruitSong"]I think it's rude when someone turns up unannounced at my door - at least CALL beforehand so I can prepare myself and can look semi-presentable at least, geeze. I see it as an invasion of my privacy and disrespectful as well. I might very well be busy with other plans when I suddenly find myself having to play host. quote]
Exactly!! !! This seems so obvious to me! I can't understand why people think it's acceptable to just drop in when they feel like it! I would never do that to them! :x


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Indigo
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01 Sep 2006, 4:01 pm

I don't like unexpected company. I was just complaining about this the other day. I have to have time to rehearse before I can socialize. i don't even like answering the phone. I ignore it most of the time. I just don't know what to say. I always have to plan my conversations before i call people. I also feel really weird talking on the phone because i can't see the person I am talking to. However I am not a recluse. I go out to bars and party a few times a month. I just have to be in the mood to be around people. When i do go out people think that i am quite outgoing. They also wonder why I never return their phone calls. Hehe!



scrulie
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01 Sep 2006, 4:23 pm

Indigo, I'm just the same! and I don't like phones either. I much prefer texting, as does my best friend (I'm lucky to have a best friend I know!) We both hate talking on the phone, even to each other!


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donkey
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01 Sep 2006, 4:55 pm

what is that animal being fed in your avatar?



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01 Sep 2006, 6:52 pm

I found it VERY difficult just having my brother have his friends come over to the house. I HATE the thought of 'strangers' being in the house... people who aren't normally there and therefore aren't _supposed_ to be there. I want to be able to trust that my home is the one place where I can relax completely, knowing that I don't have to be around anyone else except my family.

When I was younger, I used to have extreme tantrums when my brother had friends over... so much so that he stopped bringing them over. In recent years, he's started having them over again, and recently he has been having his girlfriend over at the house almost every day. She's there in the lounge watching TV with him when I go in, she's there at the table when we eat dinner, and worst of all, she stays overnight MANY nights, and I find myself almost afraid to leave my room, knowing that a 'stranger' is in the room next to mine.

But worst of all has been these past few weeks. We have been moving house - relocating from London to Somerset, an 151 mile relocation. The move has been one of the most stressful times in my entire life, but the worst part surely was the visitors. Potential buyers showing up with little, or even NO, warning... and wandering around the house... walking in and out of my room... the stress I felt during these times was immesurable. I'd hold myself together until they were gone... and then I'd just cry.

So yes, this is definitely something I have a LOT of difficulty with, and I think it is most likely a very common Aspie problem.


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MomofTom
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01 Sep 2006, 7:18 pm

Yes, this is something else to identify with. Even last night we had one of my husband's friends stop by to pick up something he needed. That wasn't a problem as he messaged us to ask if it was okay. What got me off guard was when a lady drove up to the house to ask if we were involved in a garage sale that was advertised in the paper. My husband fielded her query but I was more than comfortable to avoid her.

On an interesting note, I used to stop by a lady's home at pre-arranged times to chat and help out around the house. Now, she is of the comfort level that she was fine with friends walking in the door unannounced....without knocking!! !! I was so uncomfortable with that arrangement. I mean, what if I was a burglar??? I would knock until she came to the door to answer it. When there was no reply, I refused to let myself in. It's just.....rude!


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scrulie
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02 Sep 2006, 4:44 am

donkey wrote:
what is that animal being fed in your avatar?


It's a baby grey squirrel, one of many that I've hand-reared. :)


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donkey
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02 Sep 2006, 6:11 am

yes it is pretty and nice and i am sure you do a good job, i live in northenr ireland (part of the UK)
they are considered vermin here?
is this true?
i think people are cross that they displace the red squirrel.
i like them and dont want to hurt them, i am asking if it is true that one is allowed to kill them here?



theMascaraSnake
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02 Sep 2006, 7:48 am

I don't have too many friends and none that are likely to just turn up unnannounced although sometimes I think it would be nice to know people well enough that they might do that from time to time

the telephone scares the bejeebers out of me though - I jump through the roof just about, every time it rings, these days I just let it go to messages, although then I hate listening to the messages



scrulie
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02 Sep 2006, 2:19 pm

theMascaraSnake wrote:
the telephone scares the bejeebers out of me though - I jump through the roof just about, every time it rings, these days I just let it go to messages, although then I hate listening to the messages


I'm like the woman in the Catharine Tate Show when the phone rings! I often do a comedy scream when it goes, and always jump out of my skin LOL!


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Claradoon
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02 Sep 2006, 8:01 pm

I've got my "nobody home" impersonation down pat. Unless it's the mail - I order stuff online.

Now that I think of it, I had to learn not to answer the phone and not to answer the door. There's a lot of pressure to answer I guess. But it's misplaced guilt. Nobody is obliged to answer.

My Bro&family are NT's, they are *thrilled* if people show up with or without warning. That's why they don't understand what's going on with me. Too bad. If I waited for approval I'd never do (or refuse to do) anything.



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02 Sep 2006, 8:49 pm

Claradoon wrote:
..... If I waited for approval I'd never do (or refuse to do) anything.


You have my approval. :)

My phone is for my convenience, not the convenience of the callers. I keep my ringer turned off, most of the time. It saves a lot of irritation.


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MrMark
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02 Sep 2006, 9:50 pm

DirtDawg wrote:
My phone is for my convenience, not the convenience of the callers. I keep my ringer turned off, most of the time. It saves a lot of irritation.

My phone is for my computer. I keep it online most of the time.


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Mnemosyne
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02 Sep 2006, 9:55 pm

I personally hate it when there are people at my house, announced or unannounced. I just plain don't like people in my house. It feel invasive. My husband (NT) doesn't really get it though, and will invite people over sometimes when I'm not home. When I come home to find someone in my house, it makes me really angry, but I try to hide it.



scrulie
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03 Sep 2006, 4:09 am

Mnemosyne wrote:
I personally hate it when there are people at my house, announced or unannounced. I just plain don't like people in my house. It feel invasive. My husband (NT) doesn't really get it though, and will invite people over sometimes when I'm not home. When I come home to find someone in my house, it makes me really angry, but I try to hide it.

This happened to me a few days ago. I ended up getting drunk and not having any dinner because I couldn't cope with it and felt really ill the next day and really angry about the whole thing! Grrrr........


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mysteriouslyabsent
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03 Sep 2006, 4:33 pm

I always hated this when I lived at home, neighbours and my parents friends always turning up unexpectedly, I hated it.