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Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,609
Location: Maidstone, UK

26 Jul 2011, 7:08 am

If this consequence annoys you or really bothers you then stop unsettling everyone in the house with your meltdowns. You may not be able to control having meltdowns but you can control some of the aspects of them if you really, really care to. I have taught myself, my daughter and am now teachng my Little to go to a private place to have a meltdown. Learn to NOT affect everyone in the house and see if that doesn't help.

Your Mother needs to do her outlet just as you need to do yours. Your Mother probably feels that your meltdowns are stupid and distrubing but she lives with them and cooperates the best that she can. You can do some of the reaching perhaps too here

I do try to control the meltdowns. The weeks between each meltdowns has become longer, which means the meltdowns are reducing. But sometimes, when I'm having a really bad day and I'm in a really bad mood where I've come to the point where I don't care about the atmosphere (until afterwards), I can't always help lashing out. I think my ''meltdowns'' aren't what you're thinking. My ''meltdowns'' are either panic attacks, anger attacks, or an over-reaction to something, and it always involves verbal communication, until too much emotions get mixed up and it overloads, causing me to shout and become more mad. And I know that if I went into my room whilst really angry and frustrated, I know for a fact that I would physically beat myself up, and end up causing myself brain damage (since I really hate my brain so much and when I'm angry I want to punish it for not being wired as an NT brain). So if I verbalise it out, the anger comes out quicker, and then everybody also knows how I am feeling.

But I am trying to reduce having these episodes by not getting angry. I'm also trying to having foods and drinks that are helping me keep my mood at a level. Dairy products like milk, cheese and yoghurts are very good. They help me sleep well too, which is also a good way of keeping your mood at a level throughout the day. Hunger and tiredness can cause me to get short-tempered quick.

One thing that does annoy me though, is NTs are allowed to have bad days and get in moods and take it out on me, and I've got to understand them with that. But when I'm having a bad day and will get in a mood easily and might take it out on somebody else without meaning it personally, that is ''not allowed''. And I don't mean the way they do it or anything. A bad temper is a bad temper, but the argument for NTs is, ''maybe they're just in a bad mood'', but the argument against the Aspie is, ''stop having meltdowns''. It's a matter of principle that doesn't seem fair.

Aged 30
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder


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Joined: 3 Nov 2010
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,192

26 Jul 2011, 8:53 am

Well, you have just done the typical "Aspie" thing and defended yourself and then complained about NTs. LOL!

Get a punching bag in your room. Go there and take it out on the bag. Or go hurt yourself if you must to learn how stupid that is. You do NOT have to verbalize everything to bring yourself down. You can go to an "alone" place when you are angry/melting down. It is a matter of how much you care about this problem.

I know what meltdowns are and how they come about. I "get" that they suck and are hard to deal with. We can deal with them though if the consequences are severe enough. At least most can. It starts with baby steps and the very easiest baby step is to remove yourself from people when things go bad.

The food thing is also very important. Most of my Little's meltdowns occurr when he is low in blood sugar. He must eat every few hours to keep the blood sugar moving. You may keep track of this for yourself. After a meltdown happens check in to see if it has been awhile since your last food.

With respect to the NTs... Yeah, well. You cannot do anything about the way they behave and if you have people behaving badly around you, it is a bummer. BUT that is no excuse and has nothing to do with how YOU behave or the person YOU become/are. I mean sit back and objectively watch the next one when they are having a bad day. See how stupid/irrational they act. Why on earth would you want to be allowed to do that?