Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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Anxiety

I had to go out. I wish we were permanently in lockdown. Hopefully another virus will come around. Monkeypox seems useless in that sense.

I'm absolutely infatuated with the hymn tune FOREST GREEN, even though I'm not a believer. I think it's the best melody ever composed (other than music by Handel, which is second best music ever composed.) It makes me livid when people say that I am obsessed with Forest Green. It makes me livid when people want me to expand my horizons, especially my musical horizons. I wish people would let me have narrow interests, most of all when it involves music! It's very bleeh of people to not understand. Forest Green the hymn tune is the love of my life, and they have to accept that without judging me. There is way too much variety in classical music, IMO. Renaissance and Baroque music and hymn tunes of English and Irish origin are the only classical music I will ever like.

Someone had a little road rage at me today as I don't look when I cross roads because what's the point when you already feel dead, and to be honest, it just doesn't cross my mind. Shoulda hit me with the car, idiot, I wouldn't have complained. Got in trouble by someone, and I don't blame her, but she knows why I am the way I am so she blames herself, kinda like how I blame myself with some things I shouldn't. At least no one tried to play tough guy outside of the car.

Sibling using us as "backup" and doing her form of "love bombing" within the context of what's going on. Hell, it wouldn't be too bad if you knew the feelings were genuine. They aren't. Humans shouldn't be used as "backup" regardless. She can help herself. Kinda sick of it now, and I need to stop being an emotional pushover.

Car broke. Hot water died. Savings will be gone, but whatever. Sorta need the car for emergencies. I can change the oil, but I know that's not the problem, and my executive functioning ain't high enough for dismantling things right now.

Stuff.

Anxiety

While the Texas Republican-controlled legislature has enacted some of the toughest "Pro-Life" laws in the country, it has also enacted some of the most lenient gun-ownership laws in the country, allowing a deranged teenager to purchase firearms to be used in an elementary-school massacre.

Pain. And then some more pain.

Anxiety

I slept.

I want to make myself vomit. Seeing and feeling my body makes me feel gross. I don't ever want to eat again.

Reality.

Anxiety

My stepdad has been exposed to covid. We are all watching out for symptoms

People telling other people what they can post about, think, or feel.
Especially when it involves double standards, hypocrisy, sexism, or trauma.

I slept.

Someone ignored a report I had written and submitted, and then complained about my lack of communication.  I presented the report to him again and he complained that I had not told him what it was all about.  I told him to read it.  He said he did not have the time.  I asked him why he had me write it.  He said so that he would know what I was doing.  I said he could have just asked.  He said, "But then I would not have the report."

Effing pencil-pushing, bean-counting, fat-assed, good-for-nothing bureaucrat!