i'm a loner

Post Reply New Topic

Hi, i'm new to these forums, i'm a 26 year old man from london uk and i have a diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome. I have quite a lot of problems and things that are making me unhappy in my life. The main one is that i have no friends, i do have internet 'friends' that i talk with on msn and stuff but no real world friends, i'm a total loner. I have made attempts to make friends by joining various social groups and stuff and sometimes i initially make friends but then the friendships never last because as they get to nknow me and realise i'm different they back away because they don't understand me, i can also upset people sometimes. I was a loner at school and badly bullied and when i left school i hid away in my room for a longtime and i became even more isolated and now here i am in this situation and it gets me dwn. I am not into big crowds and clubbing and stuff, social situations scare me so i am not what you call sociable but i still want friends, not loads just a handful of really good friends i can hang out with and have a laugh with. i work 50 hours a week as a street sweeper which fills up some of my time, i'd do more hours if i could. once i finish work i just go home and i'm home alone all night with just the internet or tv for company. i'm only 26 and i am scared that this is my future. I get so lonely that i have paid for the company of escorts.

Another thing is a few years ago i got obsessed with this girl i was talking to online, she gave me her address and one day i just turned up uninvited, the meet didn't go well but afterwards i kept pestering her. in the end the police were involved and i was charged with harressment/stalking. i am not proud of this, it scares me that i did it, and it scares me to think i could do it again. my punishment for what i did was 300 hours community service plus i was tagged and put on curfew for 3 months, given a £1000 fine and ordered to attend counselling sessions, i know i deserved to be punished and i stood head bowed as the judge handed me my punishments and then told her i accepted that i deserved them. my solicitor tried to get me a lighter punishment because of my Aspergers but it didn't wash on the judge who said it was no excuse for my behaviour and she decided to punish me harder to make an example of me. i'm not a bad man i just became fixated on this girl and thought we could have a friendship, but i was obsessed. its unacceptable that i harressed her. the judge said to me that 'men like you are just parasites' which didn't make me feel too great.i guess she meant men who harress women n not men with Aspergers lol

Anyway any advice? i am only 26 and i have many years ahead of me and i don't want to spend them all lonely

Ive got you beat by a few years. i'm 31 and lonely
the only advice i can give you is get involved in whatever hobbys you have. For me its rock&gem collecting at the moment
Once i get all involved with it, it doesnt seem like i'm so lonely anymore

that judge came down on you harsh, I couldnt become a stalker. i'm just not that intrested in someone elses life

good luck to you.

We can be loners together.

Or if that fails why don't you get real life Aspie friends? They would understand you, there probably are some support groups around you could join to meet people.

Welcome to WP!
A lot of my friends are internet friends too. I do have like 3 or 4 RL friends though but I never see them.

I feel like the OP. I try to make friends, but it just never seems to work out. I think people just find me boring.

i seem to make friends initially and people seem to genuinely like me, but after a short while they drift away from me and cut off contact. There is a lad right now we spoke online for 2 years then we met a few times and got on great and i thought he genuinely liked me. But now he seems distant with me and detached and right now we haven't chatted for 2 weeks but before it was everyday

Even Asperger's people in real life won't excuse stalking behaviour. You don't just turn up at someone's house totally unannounced especially if you don't know someone - that's quite scary in itself.

I feel terrible for the OP, but I agree. People do NOT understand infatuation. You can't keep pursuing someone who clearly doesn't want to talk to you. But at least you're showing regret, which is a good sign. I hope you find support here, and some helpful advice that can improve your situation.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWNRUVMboq4[/youtube]