gf's been going on OKCupid again recently

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If any of you guy's have been following my threads on what I've done on OKCupid, you'll know that I've met someone on there and we had our first date on the 7th of may. Anyway, we haven't been able to see each other often because she lives quite far away from me and neither of us drive. Although we been able to organize another date on the 2nd of June, by getting her mom to take her down to my area, we haven't been able to see each other this month because she was sick for a couple of weeks and so was her mom. I wanted to organize for her to stay over at our house for a weekend but she now says that because her mom was sick for three weeks, she doesn't know when she'll be able to come unless she gets a lift with her friends. So, now I've left a message on her cell-phone that I might be able to visit her in her area on Sunday (she rarely answers her phone because she leaves it lying all over the place but she usually does return the call).

The thing is, I'm not sure if she really wants to see me again because in the last week or so, I've noticed that she's been going to OkCupid again. I also logged into OkCupid again last week but only because I noticed that she went on. I personally wasn't chatting to anyone on there even though I did get a message from another girl, which I never replied to because I was already dating someone. Her logging into OkCupid under other circumstances wouldn't bother me except that it's seems more regular and on both our profiles, we're still listed as single. On the other hand, I don't want to make assumptions or make her feel guilty if I bring it up with her if it turns out to be nothing. What do you guys make of this?

why do you still have dating profiles if you're 'girlfriend and boyfriend'

First of all, I wondered why you weren't around so much anymore, congratulations!

I would be very careful about making assumptiions regarding online activity, personally I've given up on OKC (and online dating in general) but I occassionally get a message and log on out of curiosity (this happened yesterday). This in no way means that I'm interesting in meeting anyone there...

you have a girlfriend? congratulations!! !! can you please show off a little more so that other people can be encouraged by your success? lol jk. sorta.

probably she is frustrated that she can't see you. sounds like you are both having trouble making this work out effectively. she may be keeping her options open until you two decide you are exclusive.

as long as you are keeping the profiles open, it sorta seems like that you're not "official". you're sending the message to each other and to other potential mates that you are still looking for someone else.

if you feel like you would like to move forward as a couple, you might want to let her know that YOU are considering closing YOUR profile because you are happy with where everything is heading, and then observe her reaction. i did that once, and the guy panicked and told me to keep my profile open. this made his feelings VERY clear. he was not ready for that exclusivity yet.

First, don't assume anything too quickly, whether about her online activity or her being your 'girlfriend'. Honestly, I don't think a couple of dates is enough to declare a bf/gf relationship.

Second, some girls love the forums and the silly quizzes on okcupid.

Third, the driving problem, the fact that your mom has to drive you to the date or her mom driving her to your area is....killing the whole romance ambiance. For some reason I felt this would be a problem.

From what I get out of your threads is that public transports are not that reliable and advanced in your country ,so that's why you're relying on other people to pick you up.

I know she doesn't drive like you, but well......how am I gonna say this without sounding sexist?..hmm, yea I found it, well there's no other way: Her lack of driving ability is more socially tolerable than yours. Some rules never change, you, as a guy, are supposed to drive and pick her up for dates , no dads no moms. So If you think that her being non-driver makes her equal to you in that regard then you are wrong, she can also afford much more than you to find another guy, a guy with similar interests of yours , yet can drive.

So my down-to-earth suggestion would be: Get a car and learn how to drive.

i agree that the reasons could be irrelevant to her eyes, probably. AND... drum roll... i agree that it is more socially acceptable for women to be non-drivers. definitely in terms of dating, but also just in general. women aren't expected to drive so much as men.

Question: Does she have aspergers?

Other than that, I couldn't say. It seems you two have trouble getting to see each other given your circumstances. I know what not having a car is like. Having to depend on other people to give you a ride can cause a lot of anxiety not to mention the price of gas these days. As for OKCupid, I wouldn't assume too quickly since it can be used for other things besides dating not to mention that you both have yourselves put as single and keeping your options open. It's good that you're playing it safe and not making this relationship official, you've only gotten to see each other twice. Living long distance can also be a problem unless you're prepared to take long trips frequently provided that you both have enough money to do so. She may be nervous, needs some time alone or who knows. But regardless congrats to you finally meeting someone.