If a girl is raped and pregnant, should she keep the baby?

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SpiritBlooms
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18 Nov 2012, 1:13 am

AngelRho wrote:
Maybe I see it differently. I had to deal with some truly awful things growing up. I got bullied by classmates and older kids all through school. The first 4 and 1/2 years of college were only marginally better, I got a good break for 2 and 1/2 years, and the same problems that have plagued me much of my life came back to haunt me. So what? It does me no good to whine about it. But I do work to improve my circumstances. There are some wonderful, bright, shining moments every day and some days are just heavenly. My kids don't have to go through what I went through, and one day they'll have their own opportunities to go above and beyond anything I could ever give them. And, hopefully, their children will have even more opportunities.

My point is each generation is responsible for ITS OWN actions, regardless of circumstance. What a beautiful, wondrously colored narrative we create when we refuse to be defined by what and where we came from! I couldn't ever deny my children that, and it's an injustice that some people are all too willing to deny themselves and their own children the same.

Of course. But my statement was not intended to imply that children of a rape should or will be unhappy. It was to stress that if a woman chooses abortion she is choosing her freedom. If she chooses to have a child, she's choosing her freedom. If it's not a choice, then she is enslaved. To be enslaved by rape multiple times, that is not a healthy situation for a woman or any children she raises. Yes, people can be resilient and courageous, and if she chooses to have the child, bless her. It's a courageous decision. But so is choosing the option of abortion - to free herself from what she sees as something else - whatever she sees that pregnancy as, or the memory of how it came about.

I've known people who survived abusive situations and did not seem the worse for it, in fact in some cases it's possible it made them stronger. But I've seen the opposite as well.

It's up to the individual to decide what they can live with and what they can't. Whether it's one time or multiple times.



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18 Nov 2012, 6:55 am

SpiritBlooms wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
Maybe I see it differently. I had to deal with some truly awful things growing up. I got bullied by classmates and older kids all through school. The first 4 and 1/2 years of college were only marginally better, I got a good break for 2 and 1/2 years, and the same problems that have plagued me much of my life came back to haunt me. So what? It does me no good to whine about it. But I do work to improve my circumstances. There are some wonderful, bright, shining moments every day and some days are just heavenly. My kids don't have to go through what I went through, and one day they'll have their own opportunities to go above and beyond anything I could ever give them. And, hopefully, their children will have even more opportunities.

My point is each generation is responsible for ITS OWN actions, regardless of circumstance. What a beautiful, wondrously colored narrative we create when we refuse to be defined by what and where we came from! I couldn't ever deny my children that, and it's an injustice that some people are all too willing to deny themselves and their own children the same.

Of course. But my statement was not intended to imply that children of a rape should or will be unhappy. It was to stress that if a woman chooses abortion she is choosing her freedom. If she chooses to have a child, she's choosing her freedom. If it's not a choice, then she is enslaved. To be enslaved by rape multiple times, that is not a healthy situation for a woman or any children she raises. Yes, people can be resilient and courageous, and if she chooses to have the child, bless her. It's a courageous decision. But so is choosing the option of abortion - to free herself from what she sees as something else - whatever she sees that pregnancy as, or the memory of how it came about.

I've known people who survived abusive situations and did not seem the worse for it, in fact in some cases it's possible it made them stronger. But I've seen the opposite as well.

It's up to the individual to decide what they can live with and what they can't. Whether it's one time or multiple times.

Understood. And I don't find fault with a rape victim for infanticide, even it it's her decision. The guilt for something like that lies with the rapist.



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18 Nov 2012, 9:44 am

Having the freedom to choose does not guarantee freedom from slavery. Because if a woman chooses abortion she will be a slave if she feels guilty about it.



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18 Nov 2012, 2:36 pm

Deciding, after the fact, that a decision we made was a wrong one for us, is /not/ slavery; it is regret. Part of being a self-governing organism is the freedom to occasionally be wrong.



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18 Nov 2012, 2:37 pm

It is the women's choice. So I have no opinion.


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18 Nov 2012, 2:40 pm

Inuyasha wrote:
Vexcalibur wrote:
Quote:
But if you give consent, then get preggers (modern birth control is pretty reliable so chances of this happening should be low), the responsible, right thing to do would be to have the baby.
The responsible, right thing to do is to abort unwanted pregnancies as quickly as possible.

Condoms have a 3% failure rate. This means that for each 33 women that have sex today using condoms, the expected number of cases in which the condom fails is 1.


Actually that would be ducking responsibility, the woman chose to have sex, both the man and the woman in that situation should have to deal with the consequences.

What you are essentially saying is it is okay to commit infanticide if the child is "incovenient," and this is why the overwhelming majorities of abortions take place...

Abortion is essentially legalized infanticide.

If a man and a woman choose to get into a car and joyride without seatbelts, then we should leave them to "deal with the consequences" if they end up injured on the side of the road.

Never mind that we have medical procedures available to mitigate those consequences...

(/sarcasm)



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18 Nov 2012, 2:46 pm

Vexcalibur wrote:
Inuyasha wrote:
Vexcalibur wrote:
Quote:
But if you give consent, then get preggers (modern birth control is pretty reliable so chances of this happening should be low), the responsible, right thing to do would be to have the baby.
The responsible, right thing to do is to abort unwanted pregnancies as quickly as possible.

Condoms have a 3% failure rate. This means that for each 33 women that have sex today using condoms, the expected number of cases in which the condom fails is 1.


Actually that would be ducking responsibility, the woman chose to have sex, both the man and the woman in that situation should have to deal with the consequences.

And abortion is a way of dealing with the consequences.


No it is essentially murdering an innocent child because you find the child to be inconveinent.

Vexcalibur wrote:
Quote:
What you are essentially saying is it is okay to commit infanticide
No, because it is not infanticide. It is abortion.


While dictionaries now try to play word games over this subject, the fact of the matter is by definition abortion is infanticide, if people want to actually be honest about this.

Vexcalibur wrote:
It is the most responsible thing to do to abort AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. This guarantees the thing that is being killed does not develop enough to even suffer and also has the best safety rate.


The responsible thing was to own up and either put the kid up for adoption or raise the kid.

Vexcalibur wrote:
Quote:
if the child is "incovenient," and this is why the overwhelming majorities of abortions take place...

I do not still get the idea that saying that it is just for "convenience" somehow proves something is wrong. I do tons and tons of things for my own convenience. Because I am not stupid. So, when I look for the best price for a certain computer, I do it for my own convenience. Whenever I use a complaint phone line, I look for my own convenience.


Killing the kid because the kid is "incovenient" is wrong for the same reason that killing you because you are simply "inconvenient" is wrong. The child is by definition a human being, just as you are.

Vexcalibur wrote:
Quote:
Abortion is essentially legalized infanticide.

Nope.


Killing one's own offspring is infanticide. Thus by definition since the child even when in the womb is the offspring of the parents, the act of abortion is actually infanticide regardless of the word games you are trying to play.



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18 Nov 2012, 3:04 pm

Darling, you can't expect to be taken seriously when you simultaneously post idiosyncratic definitions of words and try to pre-emptively stop anyone from challenging your definitions by accusing anyone who disagrees of playing "word games."

Also, as has been pointed out to you over and over and over, pregnancy and childbirth are far more significant than a mere "inconvenience."



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18 Nov 2012, 3:07 pm

LKL wrote:
Darling, you can't expect to be taken seriously when you simultaneously post idiosyncratic definitions of words and try to pre-emptively stop anyone from challenging your definitions by accusing anyone who disagrees of playing "word games."

Also, as has been pointed out to you over and over and over, pregnancy and childbirth are far more significant than a mere "inconvenience."


In the case that they are mentioning though, the sex was entirely consensual; no rape took place.

Why should they be allowed to kill the child, when the child was a result of their own consensual behavior?

Abortion essentially cheapens the value of human life.



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18 Nov 2012, 3:15 pm

I have a Swiftian proposal: why not ditch abortion and send every unwanted kid into the arms of any scumbag willing to pay?


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18 Nov 2012, 3:17 pm

So? Cancer tumors are 'alive' and 'human.' a zef isn't a person, and even if it were, no person gets to use another person's body without their permission.

Personally I think that religions which convince people that there's some eternal afterlife do far more to cheapen this life than nearly anything that we can do here. Why worry about unborn zefs? According to your religion, don't they all get to experience eternal bliss in heaven?



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18 Nov 2012, 5:51 pm

One assumption that I see over and over by those who are anti-choice is the assumption that abortions are sought for purely selfish reasons. First I don't see a problem with that, especially in the case of a woman who is very young, older, or has special needs herself. But I've also known women who had abortions for other reasons, none of which I could argue with. I used to be against abortion choice, but after knowing a few people who'd had them and understanding their reasons, I had to change my mind.

I think that if most people who are anti-choice started really thinking things through, and knew the stories of more women who choose to terminate pregnancies they would likely stop seeing it as killing and start to see that it's an option that needs to exist.

When I see questions like, well what if she is raped several times, should she have an abortion each time - these are not well thought out questions, they're not compassionate questions, they're simply argumentative. If you're human enough to care about a human life, then care about humans already alive and how an unexpected pregnancy can affect them. Choice is not about people being promiscuous and having abortion after abortion - maybe there are extreme cases like that. But most of the time it's about a very difficult choice, one that the woman agonizes over, and one which she should make for herself, because no one else has to live her life.



Last edited by SpiritBlooms on 19 Nov 2012, 9:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

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18 Nov 2012, 6:07 pm

Inuyasha wrote:
Vexcalibur wrote:
And abortion is a way of dealing with the consequences.


No it is essentially murdering an innocent child because you find the child to be inconveinent.

It involves no murdering and no innocent child. So no.

An abortion works great to deal with the consequences of an unwanted pregnancy. Having to go through a surgery is no free ride and thus shall make them re-think things up.

Quote:
While dictionaries now try to play word games over this subject, the fact of the matter is by definition abortion is infanticide, if people want to actually be honest about this.
Does not involve killing and it does not involve an infant. If you were honest, you would have nothing to post, ever again.

Quote:
Killing the kid because the kid

What kid?


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18 Nov 2012, 7:09 pm

Inuyasha wrote:
Vexcalibur wrote:
Quote:
But if you give consent, then get preggers (modern birth control is pretty reliable so chances of this happening should be low), the responsible, right thing to do would be to have the baby.
The responsible, right thing to do is to abort unwanted pregnancies as quickly as possible.

Condoms have a 3% failure rate. This means that for each 33 women that have sex today using condoms, the expected number of cases in which the condom fails is 1.


Actually that would be ducking responsibility, the woman chose to have sex, both the man and the woman in that situation should have to deal with the consequences.

What you are essentially saying is it is okay to commit infanticide if the child is "incovenient," and this is why the overwhelming majorities of abortions take place...

Abortion is essentially legalized infanticide.


No. It's self defense. It's no more murder than shooting a would-be rapist is.


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18 Nov 2012, 11:16 pm

mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
Inuyasha wrote:
Vexcalibur wrote:
Quote:
But if you give consent, then get preggers (modern birth control is pretty reliable so chances of this happening should be low), the responsible, right thing to do would be to have the baby.
The responsible, right thing to do is to abort unwanted pregnancies as quickly as possible.

Condoms have a 3% failure rate. This means that for each 33 women that have sex today using condoms, the expected number of cases in which the condom fails is 1.


Actually that would be ducking responsibility, the woman chose to have sex, both the man and the woman in that situation should have to deal with the consequences.

What you are essentially saying is it is okay to commit infanticide if the child is "incovenient," and this is why the overwhelming majorities of abortions take place...

Abortion is essentially legalized infanticide.


No. It's self defense. It's no more murder than shooting a would-be rapist is.

Depends on whether there is a genuine threat. Someone who understands the risks of having sex makes the choice to accept those consequences should they become a reality. Essentially, if you choose to have sex, you choose to roll the dice on getting pregnant. You HAVE a choice in terms of whether you get pregnant or not, so it isn't a good self-defense argument if no one is being threatened or ever under attack.

I don't LIKE that rape would make it a valid self-defense argument, but it is what it is and as a man it would be unjust for me to tell a woman she doesn't have freedom to do what she pleases when she never had a choice in getting pregnant in the first place.

Now, if becoming pregnant was not rape and thus a choice, I know for certain that things do happen in a pregnancy that really can be threatening to a mother's life. If you don't KNOW, then no one can rightly blame you because it is self-defense. But I do question whether the risk really is as severe as the pro-infanticide activists would have us believe. My wife experienced placenta previa in her second pregnancy, and there is no way to have a normal delivery when that happens. Survival of the infant and the mother is going to depend on how soon you can get to the hospital and just how close you can carry the pregnancy to term. In our case, we were able to get to the hospital in under an hour, the baby was delivered quickly, and she was over 4 pounds. There were a few problems like you'd expect with a 7 month premie, but a few weeks later she was strong, healthy, and you'd never have known things got so screwed up with the pregnancy. Now she's happy, she's learning to play piano, and she'll turn 4 in January. If my wife had elected to have an abortion, it would have deeply upset me, and I certainly wouldn't be enjoying a life enriched as it is by my daughter. But I value my wife's life above all other concerns. I would have learned to deal with it and somehow let it go. I feel blessed that I didn't have to.



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19 Nov 2012, 4:08 am

AngelRho wrote:
mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
Inuyasha wrote:
Vexcalibur wrote:
Quote:
But if you give consent, then get preggers (modern birth control is pretty reliable so chances of this happening should be low), the responsible, right thing to do would be to have the baby.
The responsible, right thing to do is to abort unwanted pregnancies as quickly as possible.

Condoms have a 3% failure rate. This means that for each 33 women that have sex today using condoms, the expected number of cases in which the condom fails is 1.


Actually that would be ducking responsibility, the woman chose to have sex, both the man and the woman in that situation should have to deal with the consequences.

What you are essentially saying is it is okay to commit infanticide if the child is "incovenient," and this is why the overwhelming majorities of abortions take place...

Abortion is essentially legalized infanticide.


No. It's self defense. It's no more murder than shooting a would-be rapist is.

Depends on whether there is a genuine threat. Someone who understands the risks of having sex makes the choice to accept those consequences should they become a reality. Essentially, if you choose to have sex, you choose to roll the dice on getting pregnant. You HAVE a choice in terms of whether you get pregnant or not, so it isn't a good self-defense argument if no one is being threatened or ever under attack.

I don't LIKE that rape would make it a valid self-defense argument, but it is what it is and as a man it would be unjust for me to tell a woman she doesn't have freedom to do what she pleases when she never had a choice in getting pregnant in the first place.

Now, if becoming pregnant was not rape and thus a choice, I know for certain that things do happen in a pregnancy that really can be threatening to a mother's life. If you don't KNOW, then no one can rightly blame you because it is self-defense. But I do question whether the risk really is as severe as the pro-infanticide activists would have us believe. My wife experienced placenta previa in her second pregnancy, and there is no way to have a normal delivery when that happens. Survival of the infant and the mother is going to depend on how soon you can get to the hospital and just how close you can carry the pregnancy to term. In our case, we were able to get to the hospital in under an hour, the baby was delivered quickly, and she was over 4 pounds. There were a few problems like you'd expect with a 7 month premie, but a few weeks later she was strong, healthy, and you'd never have known things got so screwed up with the pregnancy. Now she's happy, she's learning to play piano, and she'll turn 4 in January. If my wife had elected to have an abortion, it would have deeply upset me, and I certainly wouldn't be enjoying a life enriched as it is by my daughter. But I value my wife's life above all other concerns. I would have learned to deal with it and somehow let it go. I feel blessed that I didn't have to.

'Someone who understands the risks of driving makes the choice to accept those consequences should they become a reality. Essentially, if you choose to have drive, you choose to roll the dice on getting into a car accident. You HAVE a choice in terms of whether you get into a car accident or not, so it isn't a good self-defense argument if no one is being threatened or ever under attack.

Now, if getting into a car accident was not due to drunk driving and thus a choice, I know for certain that things do happen in car accidents that really can be threatening to a driver's life. If you don't KNOW, then no one can rightly blame you because it is self-defense. But I do question whether the risk really is as severe as the pro-medical treatment activists would have us believe. My wife experienced a ruptured spleen during her second car accident, and there is no way to have a normal day when that happens. Survival of the driver is going to depend on how soon you can get to the hospital and just how soon you can remove the spleen. In our case, we were able to get to the hospital in under an hour, the spleen was removed quickly, and she lost 4 units of blood. There were a few problems like you'd expect with a ruptured spleen, but a few weeks later she was strong, healthy, and you'd never have known things got so screwed up with the auto collision. Now she's happy, she's learning to play piano, and she'll be 4 years post operative in January.'

A colleague of mine experienced a placental abruption a few years ago. It was her third child, with no history of difficulties and no expectation of anything other than a normal delivery. They rushed her to the OR and did an emergency hysterectomy, but even though she was literally five minutes from the surgery suite, she still ended up taking 4 units of blood. If she had tried to give birth at home, she would have died; instead, she and the baby were both fine. Glad your daugher is fine, Angel Rho.

That was a planned hospital birth; we also get lots of people who have attempted home-births and have had things go wrong - sometimes, very, very wrong. Aside from death, the worst I've ever seen was a woman with permanent brain damage from full-on ecclampsia that lead to seiszures, that lead to cardiac arrest, 2 hours out from the nearest hospital. The paramedic did chest compressions on her for an hour on the way to the hospital; if you've ever done chest compressions on anyone (much less a pregnant woman), you know how physically echausting that would have been and you would understand why she had brain damage from lack of oxygen to the brain for so long.
These are not just things that I hear about second-hand; these are things that I have /seen/ myself.