I am really frustrating myself.

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I am part of 2 other forum websites and on one, we're currently playing a long forum game I'm a part of. Players of the game have to secretly communicate in hidden chat rooms. I was abolutely 100% wary of mentioning the chatroom in main chat until today, where I remembered one of the players mentioning the secret chatroom and telling a few people to join it.

OK, so I reckoned I could so the same. Oh no. I simply ask some of the people to go into it, and suddenly, everyone wants to kill me for mentioning it in main chat. Turns out she had private messaged me and I hadn't seen the sign that shows it's a PM.

Now we have no chat room and everyone wants to kill me for mentioning it. I haven't had the best track record on the chat room either, with people misinterpreting my phrases and thinking I have unsatisfactory beliefs (I was so angry about that) and me having no idea how to online chat, and not being the most well known member of the forum.

Some guy asked who I was (I changed my username) and when I gave my original name, thinking he'd recognize it from before, he simply replied with "eeeewww" and some swear words.

I have wrecked my side's chances of being able to communicate properly on the forum game and I am still infamous for being rude and having awful beliefs, (<-- which I don't), and I try so hard not to be rude, but still get called rude for some reason.

I wish I could redeem myself by playing the forum game well, but I've screwed that up too. I just want to have people not getting frustrated with me there. I know, it's just a website, but I never want to seem rude or useless anywhere, and I frustrate myself so much.

Has anyone had the same experience on anything other than this? Am I really useless or do I just have to learn how not to suck?

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I can't really relate to this particular experience, but I would try not to get too caught up in Internet politics. They rarely are of any importance and almost always are a magnification of the already-irrational drama that plagues life offline. I think it is imperative for people to realize that they can never get everyone to enjoy having them around. This is probably magnified for those who have any social impairments. You can put on a million different masks to try to appeal to a million different people, and it still isn't going to work and will only serve to exhaust you and make you realize that you're not actually living your own life when you do that. If someone doesn't like you for being yourself, there is a good chance that they aren't worth being around, anyway.

This community you are talking about doesn't sound particularly understanding or inviting, and it seems that they're just causing you a great deal of stress. I am failing to grasp why you give their opinions such importance if they do not attribute importance to you, but I also acknowledge that I don't have the same perspective of the situation, nor understand all of the details, as you. I would try to reflect on why you allow this other community and their game to have so much gravity on you, and if there is really any net benefit to be extracted from them after taking the costs of your time, energy, and stresses they invoke onto you, into account.