If it turned out your partner was transsexual...

Post Reply New Topic

I'm not sure what this is supposed to demonstrate about "gender."



In order to do that, we would need to 1.) define "real woman," and 2.) agree on that definition. And it would still only be us agreeing on an arbitrary definition of "woman."



Which is entirely dependent on the definition you use for whatever it is you think you are.



You would be if you either met the criteria that defines what it is to be the King of England, or if the criteria for being the King of England was adjusted to where it reflected your current state of being. And, as already pointed out, the definition of "King of England" is a deal more narrow than that of "gender."

In any case, being the King of England is you defining yourself in relation to the people of England. Me defining my own gender is me defining myself in relation to myself. I doubt you would take it seriously if I defined you as a poodle then accused you of being a liar for not disclosing your poodle status to women before you sleep with them lest they unwittingly commit beastiality.



Not really. "Popular opinion" and cultural perceptions define certain aspects of reality, but it's shifting and ephemeral. It was once "popular opinion" that blacks were inferior to whites and society acted accordingly, hence imposing a socially constructed "reality" on people. Presently, that's no longer the case and what was once "reality" has been redefined.

A square is a square because a guy drew a four-sided shape, called it a "square," and then made rules as to what constituted a "square." A square is a "square" in reference to the internal logic of geometry, but it has no existence outside the human imagination. A square-shaped building physically exists, but it is only "square-shaped" because humans arbitrarily define it as such. Ditto for sex and gender. Chromosomes and secondary sex characteristics exist, but how we choose to classify them is subjective and arbitrary and no one has yet provided me any reasons why we can't/shouldn't expand the binary.



In other words, you're guessing.

I would want to kill them.

I read about half of this thread and frankly gave up when people confused sex and gender and started insisting that either of those things have to do with making babies.

If a MtF transwoman tells you she is a woman, she IS telling you the truth and not being deceitful. It's actually more honest than if she were to claim to be a man. Perhaps if you are so concerned about your partner's biological sex at birth, you should ask about that.

Why would you be disturbed at people 'confusing' sex and gender? And why would you think that sex is not related to baby-making?


It is quite possible to say true things which are misleading, and this is being deceitful. It is also possible not to mention things in such a way that someone is mislead, which is also deceitful.

It should be apparent to anyone who has read this thread that many people have a bad reaction to the idea of being with someone who has changed sexes. Someone who is transsexual and knows about the likelihood of this reaction, but then lets a serious romantic partner be deceived about it is being deceitful.

Did I say I was disturbed? That is your word, not mine. Gender is not relate to baby-making because I am as much a woman as anyone else regardless of the fact that I have never and will never produce offspring. I'm not even transgendered, but I am childfree by choice. Sex is only sort of related to baby-making as having children is a by-product of having sex. I might have the biological makeup to reproduce, but reproducing itself does not determine my biological makeup. I'm not less of a woman physically, mentally or emotionally because I'm childfree.

What is apparent to me is that it is deceitful only for those who feel it is deceitful. For many, it is not. Transgendered people will just have to choose a path and see how it works out.

I don't see the point of drawing a distinction between sex and gender. Perhaps more importantly, I don't see how such a distinction (if it can be usefully made) would apply to the situation we're talking about.


A trassexual lady who posted in this thread remarked about how she was often surprised by how specific people reacted. You can't know who will react one way or another without finding out. So, because many people would feel violated and/or decieved, you can't say it doesn't matter. Maybe they won't mind. Maybe they will.

If they don't mind, they aren't going to mind you telling them. If they do mind, they will care a great deal if you don't tell them.