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dunbots
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02 Aug 2011, 2:22 am

I'm trying to think of the name of a syndrome, which I'm pretty sure exists. But maybe it doesn't. :P

It's where someone feels the need to, maybe an obsession with, take care of someone, to be their protector, and try to nurse them back to health.

I swear it's real, but I have no idea what it's called and it's frustrating me. :x

Anyways, I might have whatever it is.



League_Girl
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02 Aug 2011, 2:56 am

Munchhausen syndrome by proxy?



dunbots
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02 Aug 2011, 3:41 am

League_Girl wrote:
Munchhausen syndrome by proxy?

Hmm, maybe that is it, but I'm not sure. Part of it seems to be that I want the other person to dependent on me, and I don't know if that's a part of Münchhausen by Proxy or not. Also, it's not about causing the other person an illness.

I'll try and give an example. If I hear or read about someone that has a mental illness, I might have a feeling of wanting to help and protect them from other people, like I can help them.



fallen_angel
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02 Aug 2011, 10:01 am

What you describe there is the typical helper syndrome. It's not healthy to make people dependent on you. A helper syndrome is part of satisfying narcisstic needs and you should be aware of that. You think you can save them, you think you have that great power? You need to be needed in an unhealthy way. Protecting them from other people looks to me like separating them and seems to be part of making them dependent on you.
Real caring means only to care about a few people with your whole heart, based on making them realise that at first they have to save themselves but you can support them and you can listen to them. It means to walk beside them as a friend and let them do their own decisions and live their own lives. It's based on trust, respect and the wish that the people you care about live a healthy and happy life, with or without you... and caring should be from both sides.



dunbots
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02 Aug 2011, 4:29 pm

Thanks fallen_angel, that seems to be very much like what I feel. But unfortunately, "Helper Syndrome" doesn't seem to be a medical term, and I can't find any good information on it. :?



fallen_angel
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03 Aug 2011, 11:29 am

Well, put in Google 'Helfersydrom' and translate it with Google or another translation thingy you prefer.



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05 Aug 2011, 7:01 pm

Codependency would be a good English place to start.

I had the first few google links for you, but I can't post URLs yet.



dunbots
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05 Aug 2011, 8:18 pm

Rebel_Nowe wrote:
Codependency would be a good English place to start.

I had the first few google links for you, but I can't post URLs yet.

Thanks. I read and agreed with a great majority of the diagnostic sentences on the Wikipedia article.



pekkla
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06 Aug 2011, 7:22 pm

Yep, codependency is it. I have/had it forever. It's not good. I have had many bad adult relationships because I wanted to fix or help people so much that they walked all over me. The heady feeling of being needed turns to something bad and for the longest time I could not figure it all out. I found myself in love with people who were basically narcissists.



ebot
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14 Aug 2011, 8:49 pm

Yea, that's co-dependency. Munchausen's Syndrome is like Factitious Disorder, where the sufferer presents themselves with symptoms of a disorder they don't have. By proxy means they use a child or significant other in the sick role to get attention.