Page 6 of 8 [ 128 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8  Next

nessa238
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,908
Location: UK

28 Feb 2013, 10:04 am

Bustduster wrote:
peaceloveerin wrote:
Does anyone feel asexual due to SSRI medications for anxiety and depression? I've heard they can lower your sex drive quite a bit, so maybe this is why I'm asexual but I honestly feel its the way I am by nature.


I'm not on them anymore, but I useed to be - and yes, I did notice a marked reduction in libido when I was taking them compared to when I wasn't.


I have taken SSRI and am currently on an SNRI anti-depressant - Efexor and it has definitely decreased my libido. Lowering the dose or coming off the medication makes my libido go back to a more normal level.

Anti-depressants have a general emotional flattening effect so there are no major highs or lows. Orgasm is a major high hence it will be harder to get. You can still get one but takes longer and more effort and not as good as if not on the medication.
It's a trade-off in order to put a safety net in place so you don't get suicidally depressed.



UnLoser
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 655

01 Mar 2013, 5:25 pm

nessa238 wrote:
Bustduster wrote:
peaceloveerin wrote:
Does anyone feel asexual due to SSRI medications for anxiety and depression? I've heard they can lower your sex drive quite a bit, so maybe this is why I'm asexual but I honestly feel its the way I am by nature.


I'm not on them anymore, but I useed to be - and yes, I did notice a marked reduction in libido when I was taking them compared to when I wasn't.


I have taken SSRI and am currently on an SNRI anti-depressant - Efexor and it has definitely decreased my libido. Lowering the dose or coming off the medication makes my libido go back to a more normal level.

Anti-depressants have a general emotional flattening effect so there are no major highs or lows. Orgasm is a major high hence it will be harder to get. You can still get one but takes longer and more effort and not as good as if not on the medication.
It's a trade-off in order to put a safety net in place so you don't get suicidally depressed.

I have definitely noticed this effect from SSRI's. I'm currently on Lexapro and it's by far the worst with lowering libido. In mid-afternoon, when the drug is in full effect(I take it in the morning), my orgasms don't feel pleasurable at all. But honestly, I'm happy to have a lower sex drive. Less jerking off means more time for other, more fulfilling things. :roll:

The dulling of good emotions is a much bigger concern to me. I'm not on SSRI's for depression. It's mostly for anxiety and OCD issues.



RazorEddie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jan 2012
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 610

01 Mar 2013, 5:41 pm

nessa238 wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
nessa238 wrote:

Do you never fancy people?


Yes, but I do not want to have sex with them. For a lot of reasons, I am not interested in sex.


Can you say some of the reasons?

Is it due to an aversion to touch or an aversion to the sexual act itself or what it signifies?

For me personally it is due to an inability to connect to people. I don't see other people as 'hot' and I have no desire for a relationship. In my life I have only ever had one crush and that was over 25 years ago. As far as sex without any emotional connection - meh, what's the point? It is pretty much just mutual masturbation and that is more sanitary and safer on your own.


_________________
I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now.


Verdandi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)

01 Mar 2013, 6:25 pm

nessa238 wrote:

Can you say some of the reasons?

Is it due to an aversion to touch or an aversion to the sexual act itself or what it signifies?


A big part of it is that I do not like to be touched, I do not like being warm, and I especially do not like prolonged touch. I am okay with cuddling for brief periods of time for example, but the longer I do it the more likely I am to have a meltdown.

I also do not feel any particular attachment toward the idea of having sex. It's not something that strikes me as appealing or interesting when I think about it. I am not averse to relationships, but the idea of sex just turns me off.

I can say that my relationship with my abusive ex probably had an impact there. I do not know that being asexual is because of autism or other things, I just know it's not something I particularly want to do. There are other things I do like which are often associated with sex but do not themselves require sex. And after those, while I am still not interested, I find touch easier to tolerate and am more amenable to it. That only lasts for a day or so, however.



StarTrekker
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,088
Location: Starship Voyager, somewhere in the Delta quadrant

02 Mar 2013, 2:20 am

Does sexuality deal specifically with one's preference for intercourse? Because I am asexual in that I am both disinterested in sex, and in having a romantic relationship of any kind with either sex; it's just too much pressure and I know I'd be no good at it.


_________________
"Survival is insufficient" - Seven of Nine
Diagnosed with ASD level 1 on the 10th of April, 2014
Rediagnosed with ASD level 2 on the 4th of May, 2019
Thanks to Olympiadis for my fantastic avatar!


RazorEddie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jan 2012
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 610

02 Mar 2013, 4:32 am

StarTrekker wrote:
Does sexuality deal specifically with one's preference for intercourse? Because I am asexual in that I am both disinterested in sex, and in having a romantic relationship of any kind with either sex; it's just too much pressure and I know I'd be no good at it.

Asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction to anyone. In practice asexuals tend to fall into one of two broad groups, those who desire a romantic partner but no sex and those who are uninterested in romance. It looks like you would be an aromantic asexual, like me.


_________________
I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now.


Hopetobe
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 8 Sep 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 184

02 Mar 2013, 5:35 am

Personally, I think the link between ASDs and asexuality makes sense because of the social difficulties. Since we are "different" from the NT world, it makes sense that we have also different sexuality.

For myself, I don´t have a desire to have sex with anyone, especially men (I find penis gross, sorry guys). But I do masturbate and do have sexual feelings on my body parts. Actually, some of my stimming involve genitals (not sure whether I should call it "stimming" or it´s more like masturbation).

And also, I can´t help myself but I find sex pretty gross and don´t really understand it. Probbably that´s why I´m very conservative when it comes to sex (I know being conservative is "out" these days) and pretty tired of this hypersexual society.



marshall
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,752
Location: Turkey

03 Mar 2013, 4:33 pm

Aspinator wrote:
I feel there is maybe a slight one. I feel most people who are asexual are that way because of necessity. It is easier to claim to be asexual that to say it has been years since you have been with someone.

That's an annoying assumption.



TommyGun991
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 2 Dec 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 65

03 Mar 2013, 5:05 pm

I can say I'm gray-a. I have a sexual drive but I don't pursue sex. No woman can turn me on so hard that I would actively try to get her to have sex with me. Besides, I don't have enough social weaponry to bring someone closer to having sex with me, I don't actually know how sex is pursued. The idea of one night stands is fine in my head but in real life, I can't do it. A few girls made certain advances, for which I realized were advances a lot later in most cases. But in cases in which they were quite obvious, I couldn't do it because I will not have sex with a girl unless I want a long term relationship with her. I don't date for the same reason, very few girls attract me and I will not act unless the attraction is strong. (it's never strong).



nessa238
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,908
Location: UK

03 Mar 2013, 5:07 pm

TommyGun991 wrote:
I can say I'm gray-a. I have a sexual drive but I don't pursue sex. No woman can turn me on so hard that I would actively try to get her to have sex with me. Besides, I don't have enough social weaponry to bring someone closer to having sex with me, I don't actually know how sex is pursued. The idea of one night stands is fine in my head but in real life, I can't do it. A few girls made certain advances, for which I realized were advances a lot later in most cases. But in cases in which they were quite obvious, I couldn't do it because I will not have sex with a girl unless I want a long term relationship with her. I don't date for the same reason, very few girls attract me and I will not act unless the attraction is strong. (it's never strong).


How are you defining the 'strong enough' attraction? What are the criteria for it?



TommyGun991
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 2 Dec 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 65

03 Mar 2013, 5:18 pm

nessa238 wrote:
TommyGun991 wrote:
I can say I'm gray-a. I have a sexual drive but I don't pursue sex. No woman can turn me on so hard that I would actively try to get her to have sex with me. Besides, I don't have enough social weaponry to bring someone closer to having sex with me, I don't actually know how sex is pursued. The idea of one night stands is fine in my head but in real life, I can't do it. A few girls made certain advances, for which I realized were advances a lot later in most cases. But in cases in which they were quite obvious, I couldn't do it because I will not have sex with a girl unless I want a long term relationship with her. I don't date for the same reason, very few girls attract me and I will not act unless the attraction is strong. (it's never strong).


How are you defining the 'strong enough' attraction? What are the criteria for it?


Strong attraction=attraction that is strong enough to make me want to do something to be with that person, to actively try to be with that person. Otherwise, I won't even bother, that's why I don't date, why would I date a person I'm very vaguely attracted to. As to what causes strong attraction, I don't know. I don't think it's a process that involves solely conscious standards, but I obviously have some that are a must.



nessa238
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,908
Location: UK

03 Mar 2013, 5:22 pm

TommyGun991 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
TommyGun991 wrote:
I can say I'm gray-a. I have a sexual drive but I don't pursue sex. No woman can turn me on so hard that I would actively try to get her to have sex with me. Besides, I don't have enough social weaponry to bring someone closer to having sex with me, I don't actually know how sex is pursued. The idea of one night stands is fine in my head but in real life, I can't do it. A few girls made certain advances, for which I realized were advances a lot later in most cases. But in cases in which they were quite obvious, I couldn't do it because I will not have sex with a girl unless I want a long term relationship with her. I don't date for the same reason, very few girls attract me and I will not act unless the attraction is strong. (it's never strong).


How are you defining the 'strong enough' attraction? What are the criteria for it?


Strong attraction=attraction that is strong enough to make me want to do something to be with that person, to actively try to be with that person. Otherwise, I won't even bother, that's why I don't date, why would I date a person I'm very vaguely attracted to. As to what causes strong attraction, I don't know. I don't think it's a process that involves solely conscious standards, but I obviously have some that are a must.


What are the 'some that are a must' then?

I think most people have the criteria of 'I want someone, could you possibly be suitable?' rather than 'Unless you are exactly what I want I'm not bothering'

in which case it's as if you want a fantasy, not a real person



TommyGun991
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 2 Dec 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 65

03 Mar 2013, 5:27 pm

nessa238 wrote:
What are the 'some that are a must' then?


First off, if you're asking this because you want to learn about male attraction process or whatnot, I'm not a good example :p

1) no extroverted energizer bunnies who expect me to go to clubs or travel or whatnot
2) non dramatic, laid back, funny, affectionate, kind, soft spoken, low key
3) no tons of make up
4) intelligent

That's it. But even if a girl meets the standards above, it doesn't mean I'll be attracted. It's stupid, I know.

'Unless you are exactly what I want I'm not bothering' - this is how I feel, yes although it doesn't have to be exactly, but maybe 80% at least. This is because I'm not naturally inclined to have relationships so unless they provide specific things I prefer, I'm not interested. I'm not interested in wasting my time testing whether some girl is suitable enough because it is a waste of time in my view, I don't like the ''ride''.



jetbuilder
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,172

03 Mar 2013, 5:45 pm

I'm asexual. The most I like doing is cuddling. (I LOVE cuddling :)

I would like to have a "girlfriend" though. Someone who "gets me"

The types of girls that most guys would describe as hot or sexy, I feel no kind of attraction to. I prefer the "nerdy or geeky" kinda girl. I seem to like the girls in movies who would be described as "weird" like Luna from Harry Potter.


_________________
Standing on the fringes of life... offers a unique perspective. But there comes a time to see what it looks like from the dance floor.
---- Stephen Chbosky
ASD Diagnosis on 7-17-14
My Tumblr: http://jetbuilder.tumblr.com/


marshall
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,752
Location: Turkey

03 Mar 2013, 7:26 pm

I'm an asexual guy. I never bring it up IRL and it's kind of a barrier to having a romantic relationship. It's not like I wouldn't desire to have a "romantic" relationship at some point if there really exists people in this world who would accept that without sex. The problem is for guys it's pretty much anatomically impossible to have "fake" sex just please a woman.



AllPurposeFeeling
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 2

23 Apr 2013, 12:37 pm

Hey, saw this topic while googling stuff about Asperger's and asexuality and thought I'd chime in with my own two cents. I know the last reply was back in March, but seeing as there was a two-year gap in the replies (I checked) I'm sure this is OK ;3


I have Asperger's. I have a dick and I do get these "tingly" feelings in it. However, I've learned to associate these feelings with mostly emotional and aesthetic cues instead of thinking that they're sexual.
Feel happy about great weather or spending time with a friend? Feel emotionally hurt after a bad situation? Feel frustrated, uncomfortable, stressful, anxious or annoyed? Feel excited about something new or awesome? Looking at something that's cute, beautiful or otherwise visually pleasing? Taking in a sensual experience, like eating delicious food or listening to awesome music? All of these things register in my dick as well.
The libido is always there, I just don't consciously associate it with sexual stuff. Like my username suggests, it's more of an "all-purpose feeling" that just reflects the situation I'm in and the thoughts and feelings I'm having. Mostly, though, it's just frustrating as all hell! It does make sexual thoughts bombard my mind, probably because the feeling is happening in my dick, but I consider these thoughts intrusive, disturbing and unwanted, like if some as*hole is watching really loud porn in the next room, and you just wanna focus on what you're doing but the porn sounds are distracting you and making you uncomfortable. It might stir when I see people, and I might have passing thoughts about sexually touching them, but when they fade I remember that I don't even want to do anything like that. It's kinda like sexual OCD, you know?
I consider the thought of having an intimate romantic or sexual relationship with anyone intensely uncomfortable, and I am quite content satisfying my libido by just masturbating. So yeah, I consider myself to be a type of asexual.