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nessa238
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28 Feb 2013, 10:04 am

Bustduster wrote:
peaceloveerin wrote:
Does anyone feel asexual due to SSRI medications for anxiety and depression? I've heard they can lower your sex drive quite a bit, so maybe this is why I'm asexual but I honestly feel its the way I am by nature.


I'm not on them anymore, but I useed to be - and yes, I did notice a marked reduction in libido when I was taking them compared to when I wasn't.


I have taken SSRI and am currently on an SNRI anti-depressant - Efexor and it has definitely decreased my libido. Lowering the dose or coming off the medication makes my libido go back to a more normal level.

Anti-depressants have a general emotional flattening effect so there are no major highs or lows. Orgasm is a major high hence it will be harder to get. You can still get one but takes longer and more effort and not as good as if not on the medication.
It's a trade-off in order to put a safety net in place so you don't get suicidally depressed.



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01 Mar 2013, 5:25 pm

nessa238 wrote:
Bustduster wrote:
peaceloveerin wrote:
Does anyone feel asexual due to SSRI medications for anxiety and depression? I've heard they can lower your sex drive quite a bit, so maybe this is why I'm asexual but I honestly feel its the way I am by nature.


I'm not on them anymore, but I useed to be - and yes, I did notice a marked reduction in libido when I was taking them compared to when I wasn't.


I have taken SSRI and am currently on an SNRI anti-depressant - Efexor and it has definitely decreased my libido. Lowering the dose or coming off the medication makes my libido go back to a more normal level.

Anti-depressants have a general emotional flattening effect so there are no major highs or lows. Orgasm is a major high hence it will be harder to get. You can still get one but takes longer and more effort and not as good as if not on the medication.
It's a trade-off in order to put a safety net in place so you don't get suicidally depressed.

I have definitely noticed this effect from SSRI's. I'm currently on Lexapro and it's by far the worst with lowering libido. In mid-afternoon, when the drug is in full effect(I take it in the morning), my orgasms don't feel pleasurable at all. But honestly, I'm happy to have a lower sex drive. Less jerking off means more time for other, more fulfilling things. :roll:

The dulling of good emotions is a much bigger concern to me. I'm not on SSRI's for depression. It's mostly for anxiety and OCD issues.



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01 Mar 2013, 5:41 pm

nessa238 wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
nessa238 wrote:

Do you never fancy people?


Yes, but I do not want to have sex with them. For a lot of reasons, I am not interested in sex.


Can you say some of the reasons?

Is it due to an aversion to touch or an aversion to the sexual act itself or what it signifies?

For me personally it is due to an inability to connect to people. I don't see other people as 'hot' and I have no desire for a relationship. In my life I have only ever had one crush and that was over 25 years ago. As far as sex without any emotional connection - meh, what's the point? It is pretty much just mutual masturbation and that is more sanitary and safer on your own.


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01 Mar 2013, 6:25 pm

nessa238 wrote:

Can you say some of the reasons?

Is it due to an aversion to touch or an aversion to the sexual act itself or what it signifies?


A big part of it is that I do not like to be touched, I do not like being warm, and I especially do not like prolonged touch. I am okay with cuddling for brief periods of time for example, but the longer I do it the more likely I am to have a meltdown.

I also do not feel any particular attachment toward the idea of having sex. It's not something that strikes me as appealing or interesting when I think about it. I am not averse to relationships, but the idea of sex just turns me off.

I can say that my relationship with my abusive ex probably had an impact there. I do not know that being asexual is because of autism or other things, I just know it's not something I particularly want to do. There are other things I do like which are often associated with sex but do not themselves require sex. And after those, while I am still not interested, I find touch easier to tolerate and am more amenable to it. That only lasts for a day or so, however.



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02 Mar 2013, 2:20 am

Does sexuality deal specifically with one's preference for intercourse? Because I am asexual in that I am both disinterested in sex, and in having a romantic relationship of any kind with either sex; it's just too much pressure and I know I'd be no good at it.


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RazorEddie
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02 Mar 2013, 4:32 am

StarTrekker wrote:
Does sexuality deal specifically with one's preference for intercourse? Because I am asexual in that I am both disinterested in sex, and in having a romantic relationship of any kind with either sex; it's just too much pressure and I know I'd be no good at it.

Asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction to anyone. In practice asexuals tend to fall into one of two broad groups, those who desire a romantic partner but no sex and those who are uninterested in romance. It looks like you would be an aromantic asexual, like me.


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02 Mar 2013, 5:35 am

Personally, I think the link between ASDs and asexuality makes sense because of the social difficulties. Since we are "different" from the NT world, it makes sense that we have also different sexuality.

For myself, I don´t have a desire to have sex with anyone, especially men (I find penis gross, sorry guys). But I do masturbate and do have sexual feelings on my body parts. Actually, some of my stimming involve genitals (not sure whether I should call it "stimming" or it´s more like masturbation).

And also, I can´t help myself but I find sex pretty gross and don´t really understand it. Probbably that´s why I´m very conservative when it comes to sex (I know being conservative is "out" these days) and pretty tired of this hypersexual society.



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03 Mar 2013, 4:33 pm

Aspinator wrote:
I feel there is maybe a slight one. I feel most people who are asexual are that way because of necessity. It is easier to claim to be asexual that to say it has been years since you have been with someone.

That's an annoying assumption.



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03 Mar 2013, 5:05 pm

I can say I'm gray-a. I have a sexual drive but I don't pursue sex. No woman can turn me on so hard that I would actively try to get her to have sex with me. Besides, I don't have enough social weaponry to bring someone closer to having sex with me, I don't actually know how sex is pursued. The idea of one night stands is fine in my head but in real life, I can't do it. A few girls made certain advances, for which I realized were advances a lot later in most cases. But in cases in which they were quite obvious, I couldn't do it because I will not have sex with a girl unless I want a long term relationship with her. I don't date for the same reason, very few girls attract me and I will not act unless the attraction is strong. (it's never strong).



nessa238
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03 Mar 2013, 5:07 pm

TommyGun991 wrote:
I can say I'm gray-a. I have a sexual drive but I don't pursue sex. No woman can turn me on so hard that I would actively try to get her to have sex with me. Besides, I don't have enough social weaponry to bring someone closer to having sex with me, I don't actually know how sex is pursued. The idea of one night stands is fine in my head but in real life, I can't do it. A few girls made certain advances, for which I realized were advances a lot later in most cases. But in cases in which they were quite obvious, I couldn't do it because I will not have sex with a girl unless I want a long term relationship with her. I don't date for the same reason, very few girls attract me and I will not act unless the attraction is strong. (it's never strong).


How are you defining the 'strong enough' attraction? What are the criteria for it?



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03 Mar 2013, 5:18 pm

nessa238 wrote:
TommyGun991 wrote:
I can say I'm gray-a. I have a sexual drive but I don't pursue sex. No woman can turn me on so hard that I would actively try to get her to have sex with me. Besides, I don't have enough social weaponry to bring someone closer to having sex with me, I don't actually know how sex is pursued. The idea of one night stands is fine in my head but in real life, I can't do it. A few girls made certain advances, for which I realized were advances a lot later in most cases. But in cases in which they were quite obvious, I couldn't do it because I will not have sex with a girl unless I want a long term relationship with her. I don't date for the same reason, very few girls attract me and I will not act unless the attraction is strong. (it's never strong).


How are you defining the 'strong enough' attraction? What are the criteria for it?


Strong attraction=attraction that is strong enough to make me want to do something to be with that person, to actively try to be with that person. Otherwise, I won't even bother, that's why I don't date, why would I date a person I'm very vaguely attracted to. As to what causes strong attraction, I don't know. I don't think it's a process that involves solely conscious standards, but I obviously have some that are a must.



nessa238
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03 Mar 2013, 5:22 pm

TommyGun991 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
TommyGun991 wrote:
I can say I'm gray-a. I have a sexual drive but I don't pursue sex. No woman can turn me on so hard that I would actively try to get her to have sex with me. Besides, I don't have enough social weaponry to bring someone closer to having sex with me, I don't actually know how sex is pursued. The idea of one night stands is fine in my head but in real life, I can't do it. A few girls made certain advances, for which I realized were advances a lot later in most cases. But in cases in which they were quite obvious, I couldn't do it because I will not have sex with a girl unless I want a long term relationship with her. I don't date for the same reason, very few girls attract me and I will not act unless the attraction is strong. (it's never strong).


How are you defining the 'strong enough' attraction? What are the criteria for it?


Strong attraction=attraction that is strong enough to make me want to do something to be with that person, to actively try to be with that person. Otherwise, I won't even bother, that's why I don't date, why would I date a person I'm very vaguely attracted to. As to what causes strong attraction, I don't know. I don't think it's a process that involves solely conscious standards, but I obviously have some that are a must.


What are the 'some that are a must' then?

I think most people have the criteria of 'I want someone, could you possibly be suitable?' rather than 'Unless you are exactly what I want I'm not bothering'

in which case it's as if you want a fantasy, not a real person



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03 Mar 2013, 5:27 pm

nessa238 wrote:
What are the 'some that are a must' then?


First off, if you're asking this because you want to learn about male attraction process or whatnot, I'm not a good example :p

1) no extroverted energizer bunnies who expect me to go to clubs or travel or whatnot
2) non dramatic, laid back, funny, affectionate, kind, soft spoken, low key
3) no tons of make up
4) intelligent

That's it. But even if a girl meets the standards above, it doesn't mean I'll be attracted. It's stupid, I know.

'Unless you are exactly what I want I'm not bothering' - this is how I feel, yes although it doesn't have to be exactly, but maybe 80% at least. This is because I'm not naturally inclined to have relationships so unless they provide specific things I prefer, I'm not interested. I'm not interested in wasting my time testing whether some girl is suitable enough because it is a waste of time in my view, I don't like the ''ride''.



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03 Mar 2013, 5:45 pm

I'm asexual. The most I like doing is cuddling. (I LOVE cuddling :)

I would like to have a "girlfriend" though. Someone who "gets me"

The types of girls that most guys would describe as hot or sexy, I feel no kind of attraction to. I prefer the "nerdy or geeky" kinda girl. I seem to like the girls in movies who would be described as "weird" like Luna from Harry Potter.


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03 Mar 2013, 7:26 pm

I'm an asexual guy. I never bring it up IRL and it's kind of a barrier to having a romantic relationship. It's not like I wouldn't desire to have a "romantic" relationship at some point if there really exists people in this world who would accept that without sex. The problem is for guys it's pretty much anatomically impossible to have "fake" sex just please a woman.