Thinking of committing suicide

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a good reason I've found not to commit suicide is the thought that maybe we experience in life what we need to experience (to teach us something) and if we kill ourselves we'll have to do it all over again..so Earth is like a prison - with no escape until you've done your time. I find difficult things in life have taught me things which I probably wouldn't have learnt otherwise...and the thought of having to learn these lessons all over again is good motivation to carry on. And anyway, who knows what's around the corner; maybe you'll find the love of your life (or whatever) in another week, year, whatever etc.

Well I just turned 35 and I've never had a steady girlfriend. I might as well add I'm still a virgin to. I know there is general added pressure to from parents or society like "Why Am I Still Single?" or "Don't I Want to Get Married?".

I would imagine finally having a steady girlfriend finally gets that pressure off your back. Suddenly being single again brings it all back probably adding to the frustration making it even harder to deal with.

Dorothy Parker tried to do herself in on multiple occasions- but ironically, one of her best known and most pointed poems, is “Resume”-

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

QFT+!
in this respect, many suicides are buyers' remorse carried to an extreme. but there comes a time in one's life when one must fish or cut bait, and if one hasn't been able to catch any fish, then one should pack it in and go do something else or make other plans, or [speaking figuratively] "go vegan."

[but] at least you would have some good memories to look back upon, and some primo JO material. just a thought. the fantasies of experienced folk are always going to be richer and more authentic than those who never got to dip their wicks in anything other than bathwater.

a thought crime? i dunno... do you mean "politically incorrect"? as for whether or not suicide is ever the solution, that is grist for another thread.



you are STRONG! i truly hope your circumstances improve after all those years!



QFT+!



more likely, if you did it at the right time, you might not be discovered until you'd bled to death or the tide came in and washed you out out to sea to become shark food. "circle of life" and all that. forgive my dark humor. life is heaven for a lucky few, purgatory for some others, and sheer hell for the rest. i just try to find calmer areas in purgatory to ride out my life and bide my time until i can matriculate into heaven above. the thought of heaven is the only real thing that keeps me alive.

Indeed.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. (Opps, that might be cliche.)

(And here's where you say, "But my problem is permanent; there's nothing temporary about it.")

I would posit that you are forever changing, and not static. The you of today will not be the same you of tomorrow. You gain new knowledge, which can change your thoughts and opinions - even personality. Your hair and nails grow. You gain or lose weight. Gain or lose muscle. Skin cells die; new ones form. As you can see, tomorrow you will be someone else.

The me of today is glad that the me of 10 years ago called a suicide hotline. Now here I am, typing this message.

Certainly there is plenty more to life. I have a solitary travel job at the moment. It's hard to get involved in a social circle on a regular basis while running around so much, but I've had the opportunity to travel and see more of North America then most people every do.

I have found really good online material I enjoy immensely though there's no doubt about that. It would be nice to actually try some of those things for real with a partner but I don't need to feel miserable or suffer just because I'm single.

Life is kind of crazy and these days I feel lucky to even have a job.

sounds like you learned to cope very well at a much younger age than i.



a travel industry job? cool, i only ever rated scutwork.

[for example] i may not be exactly the same person i was 10 years ago, but i surely have the same problems. it is just that i have learnt how to sidestep or finesse around some of those problems, and the rest i've become too old and tired to care much about anymore. i suspect lots of people who were in a similar situation learned to cope similarly.



glad you decided to join our cozy club, Nondescript [but special] i bet WP prevented at least a few.

I shouldn't suggest I have a job that is a glamorous occupation just because I travel a lot.

I'm a Cargo Van driver making random deliveries of Expedited Freight across the Midwest, New England, and some Canada. I actually have my bed in the van behind the seats like a small cot. It's really like a smaller version of a truck driving. But the good thing is I'm smaller with far less regulations and I skip past the weight stations.

Additionally imagine my point of view of approaching the dating scene? What do I say?
Hey you're nice, want to see my van? (as I open the back door?)

lmao

Seriously though I recently had a dispatch to Nova Scotia and had a very pleasant drive way North East. I also really enjoy driving through Maine. I tour around the country listening to XM Radio or my MP3 Player. Currently I'm using my time trying to study German off an online course while I drive.

maybe not glamourous but surely better than being a wage slave drone like i was.

COOL! i've long wished i could've been a long-hauler, just being out on the open road not cooped-up in a cubicle or behind a desk with the boss close by ready to nag me. showing my age, i remember as a teen watching a tv trucker program called "movin' on" which was a glamourized dramatization of the life of these two truckers, and i got the wanderlust bug from watching that show. but i can't drive any large vehicle because my depth perception is dodgy. the one time i was entrusted with a large panel van, i tore the roof off a gas station because i couldn't judge distance properly.

reminds me of the washington state ferry elwah being run aground back in 1983, while the captain was showing off to his girlfriend, i can imagine him saying to her, "hey, baby, wanna see my wheelhouse?" before the crash.

that sounds like a lot of enjoyment to me. except for the loading/unloading. one german [or is it yiddish] word comes to mind: "schlepping."