how do i convince husband to let me work?

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A few months ago I found a good job for two days a week. I was really excited about. Good pay not as much as my husband but it would have helped us. I told my husband and he got so angry he hung up on me.
I thought it would make him happy! He had just told me a few weeks prior he didn't think I did enough then he did a complete turn around! I have no acess to money even in a emergency if I say anything I get my head bit off. I really want a little job but I don't want to make him angry

he's your husband or your boss? where are you from that he can get away with being so controlling?

Did you know that women these days no longer need their husband's permission to work, earn money, or keep money in their own bank account?

Keeping yours from being angry seems like an impossible task, when you're not told what or why he's angry about. And don't you think it's a bit precarious for you to be left without any access to funds even in an emergency? Why are you giving him your permission to do that?

Do you think that not making this unpredictable guy angry is really the top priority in life?

Well he still treats me better then 95% of others have. Am I happy at times. But life isn't perfect. Making him angry isn't going to help me. I thought if I try to ask him another way he wont get angry? I can't just demand money from him or access to it. If I get a job it seems like the most harmless road to take. It is dangerous not to have any money but I also can't drive so that's almost as bad... the job was perfect I would have had my own transport and got out of the house a few hours a week id like to try to find something like it again but I don't want to make conflict either

It sounds as if you have a much more serious problem than just a job. I would wonder what is really causing his response.

I think you need to find some help, this guy sounds abusive.....you never want to give someone that much power over your life. I really think you need to get away from him.

He has never hit me he just is controling. I may have thought of leaving but I have animals that must come first before anything else nor do I have the resorces to leave.

Not all abuse is physical...he should not be able to exert that kind of control over you as you are an individual adult, he has no right to do that.

I understand that. It would hurt much less at times if he would have just hit me. However it beats living with my parents or my ex. Thet all use my AS as a reason for the controling but its happened all my life.

Hmm that sounds like a really difficult situation, I wish I could be more helpful as far as I know there are options though. There are organizations and such that can help people in your situation. I personally have never really been in a situation like that though so I am not sure what I would do.

Sorry. I do not understand your husband's point of view. There must be more to this than we know.

He says he rather I stay at home. We do have animals like I said but they would be looked after but they are his biggest reason for it.

Sounds like he's heavily invested in "traditional" gender roles. IOW, that as the man it's his job to provide, and that if you take part in that that you are diminishing him.

I don't internally get that, so I have no idea what you could say to him about seeing it differently. He does sound awfully controlling, as others have noted, though -- as if any independence on your part threatens/scares him.

He very much seems think of the roles that way. He has gottwn worse over the past couple years. He will not stop and conside my thoughts and feelings he just does whatever he feels is right. It hurts and half the time if I do say something I get told to shut up. I really would like to see my grandma she's 95 but she lives half way. Across the country he tells me he will take the animals to the pound if I do that. Its the same with the job he jjust doesn't want me to leave the house. I don't know why he is so afraid or worried.

This controlling behaviour seems very unreasonable to me. Have you been able to tell him how you feel? How would he feel if roles were reversed?

I really think you're in an abusive relationship right now. Here are the warning signs:

+ He doesn't want you out of the house;
+ He controls all of the finances - if you don't have any sort of money, even for emergency use, that's a problem;
+ You feel the need to ask him permission to get a job, which you shouldn't have to do because you're an adult and therefore have the right to do whatever you want [long as it's not harmful];
+ He's manipulating you, i.e. threatening to take your animals to the pound if you go and see your grandmother.

If I were you, I'd really re-think the relationship. At the very least, I'll talk to a domestic violence group about it and see what sort of advice they can give you. No-one should be allowed to have that much control over your life.