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Tuttle
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12 Aug 2011, 4:50 pm

It depends on your definition of alone. I feel alone in a positive way when I'm with my boyfriend and only him; I feel alone in a negative way in a crowd; I feel alone in a neutral way when its just me.

I think the first one confuses people. To me, he doesn't count as a person. People are scary, he's not, he's more than a person to me. The two of us being physically in the same room, him working on what he wants to, me work on what I want to do (*cough*posting-on-wrong-planet*cough*), feels like a very positive version of solitude to me.

As a whole, I get lonely. I want social contact, but I want it controlled. Contact with him doesn't need to be controlled - we live together even. There are times I want to explicitly be doing my own things, but with him I don't need to be physically alone.

I want time with only him, I want time not dealing with people, and I want time with people. The problem is that I want time where I actually feel involved, not separate and watching them, and want to actually feel like I matter to them. These make it such that I'm often lonelier in a group than I am physically alone.



auntblabby
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12 Aug 2011, 6:38 pm

AbleBaker wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
a soulmate would be awfully nice.
I'll admit to sometimes having a hankering for what I imagine that might be like - sort of like wishing for a superpower - but the reality is that actually having people around is more annoyance than comfort.


what if your soulmate were perfectly matched with you?



Kellaway225
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15 Aug 2011, 7:49 pm

99% of the time i would rather be alone then be around people, its the 1% of the time that i WANT to be around people but am alone that annoys the hell out of me



rexirodkc
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15 Aug 2011, 11:11 pm

Jory wrote:
For me it’s less “I want to be alone” and more “I’m better off alone since I’m such a train wreck socially."


Yeah, this is me....but from time to time I do want to be social --(being in a room of talking people while I mostly listen is my idea of socializing :? )--since loneliness catches up with me sooner or later; then it's back to the safety of my room. Being in solitude is the only time I feel like myself.


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SammichEater
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16 Aug 2011, 12:23 am

rexirodkc wrote:
Jory wrote:
For me it’s less “I want to be alone” and more “I’m better off alone since I’m such a train wreck socially."


Yeah, this is me....but from time to time I do want to be social --(being in a room of talking people while I mostly listen is my idea of socializing :? )--since loneliness catches up with me sooner or later; then it's back to the safety of my room. Being in solitude is the only time I feel like myself.


Yup, I think that's the same for most of us here.


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Whosinabunker
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16 Aug 2011, 12:52 am

One of my favorite quotes: "I don't wanna be lonely, I just wanna be alone." - Daniel Johns of Silverchair



y-pod
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16 Aug 2011, 3:08 am

I like being alone. Although I'm very used to having a family by now I don't feel they drive me crazy any more. DH is very similar to me I can say anything to him, so he doesn't really feel like "other people". My kids are both autistic, don't say much and each enjoy playing alone. We really don't bother each other very much and live quite contently. We have three floors and a computer for each of us. Everybody gets enough alone time. :)

I still can't take too big a dose of other people, so I try to space that out. :)


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joestenr
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16 Aug 2011, 9:53 am

The times i feel the most alone i am usually either with many people or with just one in a very close setting.
I feel less alone around animals


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dopplercb
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16 Aug 2011, 12:35 pm

yes, I think so.



FearOfMusic
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16 Aug 2011, 1:27 pm

Solitude is nice, but I do have a need to talk to people as well. When I am in a larger group of people where you are suppose to just 'mingle' I feel completely left out, ignored and lonely. I feel more accepted and appreciated when I am only with one or two people.


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AspianCitizen
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16 Aug 2011, 8:55 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Lucywlf wrote:
I've felt more alone surrounded by people than I have when I'm by myself.


I can relate to this


Agree with that one. I feel like to be surrounded by peoples... from Mars. I have no idea what to do, what to say, I remain there saying notting and observing those weird aliens.


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AbleBaker
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17 Aug 2011, 1:15 am

auntblabby wrote:
AbleBaker wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
a soulmate would be awfully nice.
I'll admit to sometimes having a hankering for what I imagine that might be like - sort of like wishing for a superpower - but the reality is that actually having people around is more annoyance than comfort.


what if your soulmate were perfectly matched with you?
I doubt that such a person exists but, yeah, hypothetically, it sounds nice.



SammichEater
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17 Aug 2011, 2:11 am

AbleBaker wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
AbleBaker wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
a soulmate would be awfully nice.
I'll admit to sometimes having a hankering for what I imagine that might be like - sort of like wishing for a superpower - but the reality is that actually having people around is more annoyance than comfort.


what if your soulmate were perfectly matched with you?
I doubt that such a person exists but, yeah, hypothetically, it sounds nice.


I agree, but as we all know, there's a huge gap between theory and practice.


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