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auntblabby
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29 Nov 2021, 3:42 am

This morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.



Erewhon
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29 Nov 2021, 3:54 am

I eat humans.



auntblabby
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29 Nov 2021, 4:46 am

i eat hummus.



Matrix Glitch
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29 Nov 2021, 6:07 am

Like Soylent Green, hummus is made out of humans.



auntblabby
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29 Nov 2021, 6:33 am

all humans hummus a song.



Matrix Glitch
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30 Nov 2021, 8:46 am

Just as lamb chops should be served with mint jelly, pig's feet should be served with toe jam :chef:



AnonymousAnonymous
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02 Dec 2021, 7:08 pm

Erewhon wrote:
I eat humans.


So do I!


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naturalplastic
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02 Dec 2021, 7:18 pm

Matrix Glitch wrote:
Just as lamb chops should be served with mint jelly, pig's feet should be served with toe jam :chef:

Hooookayyyyy...

And you dine upon them by the light of candles...made from earwax.



Edna3362
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02 Dec 2021, 8:29 pm

I have a living bird in a jar. And it sings like scratching nails on blackboard.


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theprisoner
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02 Dec 2021, 8:52 pm

Erewhon wrote:
I eat humans.


Eat your heart out , Jeffrey dahmer. I would never eat another human, unless she gave me permission.

I do not have a dark sense of humor, and have never said anything sarcastic in my life to anybody ever.


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PhosphorusDecree
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03 Dec 2021, 9:08 am

this sentence starts with a capital letter and ends with a full stop


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AnonymousAnonymous
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06 Dec 2021, 6:12 pm

The Social Network 2 will be about how Alex Plank created Wrong Planet! :D

Casting will begin soon!


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Double Retired
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14 Dec 2021, 5:35 pm

Technically, Iceland and Australia are in a state of war with each other.

At the current level of hostilities the war involves mispronouncing the first syllable of the other country's name. (Oddly, they both substitute the first syllable with the same three-letter word that ends with "ss".)


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auntblabby
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14 Dec 2021, 10:03 pm

this just in- ex-pr*s*d*nt tr*mp was admitted to a hospital in palm beach florida on monday, members of his coterie said he burped and farted at the same time and turned himself inside-out.



Matrix Glitch
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15 Dec 2021, 5:32 am

I'll give $100,000 to the first person who reads this.



Edna3362
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15 Dec 2021, 11:13 am

I'd refuse to receive that kind of money.


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