rude boy

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-Preface-

I am a mute aspie, my mind can't think of things to say, nor can I remember phrases, behavior, and the both of them combined. Though I don't read words like a dyslexic, my mind is often in a mess, piecing things together slowly, or not knowing how to order or piece things together at all. I think it comes through quite clearly in my writing. I can't take a clue if my life depended on it, I don't know how to start an interaction or end one, I don't know when to say goodbye or when to say hello, so my hello's and goodbye's are off by 3 to 5 seconds, their shaky and not confident, and sometimes they feel like a cross between a statement and a question lol it's odd, and terrible

-Post-

k, now that my preface is out of the way, i am naturally rude or at least that's the conclusion that I'm beginning to draw, I ask questions or make statements that hurt that people, both in real life and on WP.

I've tried agreeing and taking on the interests/opinions of those I meet and that works so much better, but even they - from what they sense from interactions with me - suggest that I'm not fully honest or forward with my own thoughts or opinions, and then I share it, and either they laugh it off as me ribbing them but they don't take it seriously... if they were to take it seriously, they'd probably not talk to me again after that.

I read that the right side of the brain is the emotional side. How do I train that side. I'm very slow so to tell me to think my words through more carefully would probably mean me taking a 5 second or longer pause to construct something inoffensive and most people won't be able to stand that, let alone an entire conversation or interaction filled with them. I honestly don't know what to be or how to become what I need to be to survive in this world. I'm looking in every venue with no available help. I'm not stupid, I'm just not normal.

-Question-

What are exercises for people with autism to help train their brain to be more perceptive of feelings and knowing what to say? Are there social exercises I should engage in more? What do I do?

Believe or not, I can relate to what you write here very much, even though I'm not mute at all.

"if they were to take it seriously, they'd probably not talk to me again after that." - they take it seriously sometimes and won't talk to me again

Thinking slowly, faltering with saying hello and goodbye is also me, I only used to blabbing whatever comes to my mind, it is good initially for some time, and then when I run out of everything that comes easily to my mind (whatever), I start to skim delicate subjects, then when confronted, I become mute...

So, here is an idea. Don't be bothered too much by failures, try to interact, start discussing neutral subjects like weather, or what they or you eat at the cafeteria (be flexible, not objective, use what you've heard or read freely, compliment, critique should be directed to 3rd persons mainly - group of people, like companies, government please! ).

I know it's awfully difficult, but try to remember things that are connected to individual persons, like what did they do recently, what are they planning to do in the near future, what do they like and what not, bits of informations about their friends, relatives, etc.

Back in the days when I wasn't eating properly, I would go through periods of just being drained of energy. Talking would be an incredible effort, and then there was the problem of finding the words to say anyhow.

I found that signing was surprisingly much easier at these times. I have absolutely no idea as to why it was so other than it felt as though I was using a part of my brain that wasn't frazzled, and would be interested to hear if anyone has any idea why.

Structured activity with no apparent consequences and responsibility. In other words, not governed by rules that we don't know. Singing was always easier to me until I hit puberty.

I never had any of these problems at all. Must suck for you.

Is the delay due to thinking in non-words? Say, pictures/3-D sensory scenes that then must be translated into words, which does not come naturally? Cause I have that to a lesser degree. When I do respond quickly it's because of having either used the phrase in writing before (written words = pictures) or having said it enough times (badly at first) that it's muscle memory to say these things now. I still mix up thank yous, hellos, byes, and other polite phrases a lot though especially when trying to read people's faces. That's problem #2, I can't take in information and put it out at the same time.

So my advice would be take as much time as you need I guess. I often stop right in the middle of a sentence cause I've thinking of how to put something I have in my mind in non-words and it does annoy some people but really who cares. They deal with enough people who don't do this in their daily life that one person who does shouldn't ruin their day. They can learn to be flexible and if it's not someone you'll ever deal with again, well, it really doesn't matter if they're annoyed or if they ever learn cause you'll never cross paths again. Just my take.

Your problems sound a bit ADD-ish. Have you tried stimulant type drugs?