People Speaking About You Behind Your Back

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This is quite long. About a week before my daughter's school holidays, there was an argument in the playground between 2 mums, both of whom are members of a large group I stand with. When my friends and I arrived, one of the mums (X) tried to involve us and the other (Y) told her to leave us out of it. Not knowing or wanting to know what it was about, I just walked away, followed by my friends. The next day, one of my friends gave X a telling off for trying to involve us. X never spoke to the 3 of us after that, then we had the holiday.

This morning, Y said that she didn't want me to think badly of her and that a lot of the mums were ignoring her. I told her I didn't think badly of her at all and had appreciated her not wanting us to get involved. Of the little that I did hear of the argument, I could believe that X was in the wrong, because I've witnessed similar with her. Y told me that the argument was actually about ME. I didn't want to know any details, but X was making fun of me, especially about my concerns for my daughter and Y had tried to defend me. I've never spoken in any detail about my daughter to X, she only knows that she's being assessed for autism. She doesn't know my daughter at all and our daughters are in different classes. Y knows much more as she showed concern one day when my daughter was upset going in to school and I explained everything. I've been keeping her updated about the assessment progress ever since.

I'm a bit wrorried as X talks a lot and appears to be drumming up support. As the argument between X and Y was about me, she's possibly discussing me and my daughter, as part of her ploy to discredit Y. Having everyone find out that my daughter probably has autism doesn't concern me. But, I don't want to be the centre of anything, least of all the topic of bickering and bitching amongst playground mums. The most likely scenario I can see is that they'll all be checking out my daughter to see if they can spot any 'signs'.

Should I just wait and see if I think people are treating me differently or do something pro-active. Speaking to X is not an option for me at the moment. Anyone have any similar experiences or advice?

The point is how much are you interested in a "friendship" with X. I would be not interested, but I'm speaking about me. I'm officially an NT but often I'm not interested in people, in particular those who don't have something to share with me.
X doesn't seem to be a sensitive soul but would become kind with you if she founds it's worthwhile. You should try to be friend to other parents so they will found inappropriate her comments.

Thanks for your response. I don't want to be friends with X at all really, but would like to be pleasant with her. She's chatty and appears to be well liked, but is also known to gossip and tell tall stories. I feel we haven't clicked (I think she sees me as unfriendly instead of quiet). Although I'm quiet in a group, I do speak with a lot of the mums and at least say 'Hello' or smile at most of them. I spot people on their own and talk to them too. I think I'll just need to make sure that nothing has changed between me and the ones I occasionally have conversations with.

She probably sees you as unfriendly because you aren't likely to buy her line of crap. People like that usually don't like me for the same reason.

Sounds like she's just trying to start crap. If she really has an issue she should bring it up with you. I would let it be unless things start getting out of hand, and politely mention that if she has a problem it should be dealt with privately.

Props to your friend though for standing up for you.

I hate dramatic people. Behavior like that just seems so juvenile.

Thanks everyone. I think I just panicked a little bit earlier today. X is not someone I could ever really be friends with. I'm always polite, but some of the things she says are obvious exaggerations. As I've said in previous threads, I would rather keep quiet than challenge her. This includes the ongoing drama about her daughter's recurrent infections and hospitalisations, with unfathomable explanations. Even with my degree in medical microbiology, I can't work it out. This sort of stuff does freak me out a bit with regards to what she might be saying about me. It's a bit like being back at school again.

Heh, yeah, that's pretty much it. X sounds like one of those charismatic people who uses their charisma in all the wrong ways.

Just treat her politely and keep your distance. Like you said, you don't really want her friendship to begin with. She doesn't sound like she'd be a very good friend anyway--if I had a problem with somebody, I'd talk to them directly, or at most talk to a mentor about what I should do before I talked to them--I wouldn't gossip behind their back.