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CaroleTucson
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18 Aug 2011, 11:22 am

I have a little contradiction going here.

I don't really like to shop. I buy things online as much as I can (Amazon alone is justification for the entire internet, as far as I'm concerned). I don't spend endless hours trying on clothes or fingering kitchen gadgets in stores. I actually don't mind going to Home Depot ... the male salespeople there don't talk down to me as much as some do. But ehh, that's another story.

And yet ... when I buy something that I perceive is a "wise" purchase, it gives me a strong feeling of satisfaction. By "wise", I mean something practical for the house, or gifts for my kids ... something like that.

In other words, I don't like to shop, but I like to buy things. I guess that's the contradiction.

Can anyone relate?



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18 Aug 2011, 11:36 am

Yep. Recently I moved to a large city that has several stores I did not have previously and I was very excited about that. After visiting them a couple times, I returned to ordering online. I'd rather wait for the item to ship than experience the anxiety of being in those places and feeling that employees are talking down at me, etc.



EllenDee
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18 Aug 2011, 5:16 pm

I'm exactly the same - it actually surprises people who know me if I tell them I bought something in a real store and not online!

What I have found funny is that I have a lot less problems buying shoes and clothing that fit when I buy them online - you'd think trying them on in a store would be better, but I guess I just get so stressed by the whole "shopping" thing that I make really bad decisions. I really only shop in person in places I am very familiar with, and try and go when there are not many other people there. I only buy clothes online, or sometimes at big department stores where you don't have to deal with sales assistants.

I do get a great sense of satisfaction from buying something that is "just right" - for me this is usually stuff for the house too.



KathySilverstein
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16 Sep 2011, 2:12 am

To the original poster, it has less to do with shopping than with a sense of achievement you got from being able to be a provider, to get what you needed for what was presumably a good price. Not all shopping has to done in a consumerist way, sometimes it's just practical and there's nothing wrong with that!


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Mummy_of_Peanut
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16 Sep 2011, 5:39 am

I don't like shopping much and buy stuff online, e.g toiletries, vitamins and some groceries. But, when it comes to clothes, I like to try them on and wouldn't like the inconvenience of having to return something. As sensory issues come into the equation, it's essential for me to examine the clothing before buying, for either myself or my daughter. Although, I recently bought a pair of shoes from Amazon, but I already had another pair in a different colour, so I expected they would be fine, which they were. But, I like the sense of achievement when I get a bargain in a sale or find something perfect and still feel good about the £6 winter coat, £9 boots and £6 designer jeans.



mv
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16 Sep 2011, 10:52 am

CaroleTucson wrote:
And yet ... when I buy something that I perceive is a "wise" purchase, it gives me a strong feeling of satisfaction. By "wise", I mean something practical for the house, or gifts for my kids ... something like that.


Totally! I feel like I've "wasted" money whenever I buy clothing or furniture (it just seems so overpriced for what you get, even though they're necessities) but I feel so very satisfied every time I buy something from the hardware store. I've tried to describe this exact feeling to other people and, yup, apparently I have three heads.



lunaloo
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17 Sep 2011, 10:17 am

There are aspects of shopping that I love - browsing in the stores, looking at the merchandise, finding the perfect outfit, jewelry, shoes, etc. Unlike most females with AS, I'm a very girly-girl and love that kind of thing. However, I hate the crowds and I hate dealing with salespeople. I cannot stand being greeting by multiple salespeople and constantly being asked if I'm finding everything ok. I like to be alone with my own thoughts when I shop and the constant interruptions annoy me to no end. Also, I really don't like interacting with people much, particilarly when the interaction is superficial and completely meaningless. I've actually walked out of stores before for just that reason. And don't even get me started on those kiosk people. It's gotten to the point that I avoid the first floor of the mall so I don't have to deal with them.



anna-banana
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17 Sep 2011, 3:22 pm

EllenDee wrote:

What I have found funny is that I have a lot less problems buying shoes and clothing that fit when I buy them online(...)


yes! me too! it used to take me ages to buy some stuff in regular shops - mainly things like shoes, jeans and dresses. now I buy all that stuff online and there's only been a few things that didn't fit that well - I sold them all on ebay, with profit :P

can't say I feel satisfaction though, more of a relief - I tend to obsess over things I spot in online shops and fall in love with, sometimes things that I can't even afford... :oops: and although I realise that my rationality is at a halt at those moments and that my assessment of the usefulness of the thing I'm obsessing over might not be as high as it seems at the time, it usually ends with a purchase. that makes me feel better, my rationality is restored ;)


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curlyfry
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18 Sep 2011, 2:30 pm

Being able to provide and make a wise purchase on top of that is a wonderful rush. Plus being able to buy online helps with being very particular, as there are no stores that sell the shoes or gadgets I desire.



Jellybean
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18 Sep 2011, 3:25 pm

To all those girls in America who don't like the store workers bugging them:

Come to the UK to do some shopping! Seriously, you will be routinely ignored, no one helps you unless you ask (and then they need some prodding usually) and you're lucky to get even a hello out of the cashier! I am still a little wary about online shopping myself because my Dad was always a bit paranoid about it and it's rubbed off on me! I am managing to do some things online now. I have to physically see and touch things before I can buy them as well because I am not good at judging what something is going to look like in real life if it is just in a photo. Sometimes I will go to a shop to see the product then buy it online (thus saving a few pennies!). I can't ever do food or clothes shopping online though because I am really fussy about product (apparently if they are out of something they will find the closest alternative... which is not good enough for me!) and I can't tolerate a lot of fabrics so I have to feel it.


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