Where is a good place for an Aspie to go on a Friday night?

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johnnydangerous
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18 Aug 2011, 8:58 pm

Tomorrow is Friday night and I live in a big city. I'm a decent looking chap with aspergers. I think I'm an interesting fellow, with my own unique form of humor and personality. But I haven't found the right crowd yet.

I feel as if the bar crowd just doesn't "get me" and I don't relate to them. I'm looking for a relationship with a different type of woman but on the rare nights I do go out, all I run into are bar floozies and skanks. And the men are your typical overgrown douchebag jocks, which the bar floozies just seem to love. I hate it, but I don't know where else to go to meet people!

I don't have any friends to hang out with. I'm 34 years old, and I run into interesting women in the city sometimes at work. But I never know where these women go to hang out socially, because I never see them in bars!

I also feel as if the better women are taken by my age, and the only ones left are either women who have mental problems or have kids.

Where can I go tomorrow night to meet some interesting people? Are bars with drunk skanks really the only option in a big city like where I live? Can anyone help? I'm lonely. :(



EllenDee
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18 Aug 2011, 9:18 pm

I know exactly what you mean - as a 34yo woman I feel the same thing.

The best suggestion I can give is to focus on meeting people in general, not just women. You are most likely to find someone you can have a relationship with through a social network than meeting them directly.

One option to consider if you want to go out is to find a pub with a trivia night or similar - the more structured environment can be easier to deal with, and you may get invitations to join someone's team, which would give you a few people to talk to, possibly on a regular basis. Drunk skanks are also rarely attracted to trivia nights.



Fnord
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18 Aug 2011, 9:23 pm

Church or Temple.

There is as much repressed sexuality in mainstream places of worship as there is unfulfilled "mothering" instincts. Go for it.

;)


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Lightning88
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18 Aug 2011, 9:29 pm

Do you have any malls in your area? There's always tons of people that you're stuck with in those :wink:



Tuttle
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18 Aug 2011, 9:40 pm

We have had people in their 40s show up at our weekly gaming events

If there's a college local with a board gaming club, those tend to be aspie-friendly and non-college aged friendly. I don't know if you enjoy that sort of stuff, but if you do, then its an option for socializing. I don't know how much of a chance for any romantic pursuits there are, as the age ranges vary much more. However, we've had it be regular for people at least in their late 20s to be going.



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18 Aug 2011, 9:42 pm

I would suggest going nowhere. But that's just me. :lol:


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Callista
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18 Aug 2011, 9:48 pm

Yeah, it kind of confused me, too. Why would you want to go somewhere just because it's Friday night?


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Tuttle
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18 Aug 2011, 9:54 pm

Callista wrote:
Yeah, it kind of confused me, too. Why would you want to go somewhere just because it's Friday night?


I assumed that it was "one day a week is traditionally the social night"

This is because for me this is true. Fridays are the evening/night to be social. Because that's the day to be social if I can't be social at that point it bothers me. The rest of the week I'll just stay at home, but I want something to do if I'm not going and playing games.



xowe
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18 Aug 2011, 10:00 pm

I found an activitys thing for singles... http://www.meetmarketadventures.com/index.php

I was going quite a bit. It was comfortable (at least as much as it could be for me), I would focus on the activity instead of the social. It was before relized I was Aspie. I met a woman who I thought might like me, but It freaked me out because I couldn't tell if she did or not, and I didn't understand where that was coming from and I didn't want to make a mistake. I think I stopped going because of that, but now I'm thinking of going back, because it really was interesting.

Rowing, Sushi Making, Bowling, Vollyball.

:)


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HemDeviance
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18 Aug 2011, 11:32 pm

Fight Club



manBrain
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19 Aug 2011, 12:47 am

Hi.
Try social sports clubs.

There will be loads of these in a big city, and you may find that the people who are into sports are a different crowd to those who are in the bars late at night.

Another benefit of sports is that the experience is structured, and the focus is primarily on the activity, rather than on sitting around talking. This is a plus if your conversational skills are like mine!

There are less-or-more competitive grades, so even if you are not experienced you can fit in somewhere.

Although it requires some bravery to join in at first, most sports are welcoming to new members because they need people involved to make the game happen.

Sports generally involve between one and thirty players, so there is choice of group size, and physical contact.

The teams often socialise after playing, or at other times during the week, which gives you an "in" to a social group.

Mixed teams are popular these days too, so there is opportunity to meet women as well as men.