Why does it feel like the world stops when i think about AS?

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Panic
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19 Aug 2011, 11:02 pm

I feel like im not living when i realize AS.. and i see all the normal people living normal while im all wierd..... and alone...

anyone else similar



SammichEater
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19 Aug 2011, 11:15 pm

Quite the opposite, actually. Thinking about AS makes me realize that I actually am normal (for an aspie), and that I am definitely not alone in that respect.


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Fatal-Noogie
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19 Aug 2011, 11:29 pm

I feel more alive when thinking of the things that make me abnormal, like my AS.
It doesn't mean I always feel better, but I feel more alive.


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Ashuahhe
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19 Aug 2011, 11:40 pm

We may be alone but we think like no else :D



soulreapersenna
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20 Aug 2011, 12:16 am

I know how you feel, I feel alone almost daily, even when I'm surrounded by a bunch of NTs I can't help but feel alone and misunderstood.

I don't recieve joy from social interactions like others do, sure I get some jokes, and other times I take them literally like most Aspies do, like sarcasm, I have a very hard time taking sarcasm well, to me, it sounds like criticism, it may be that or a light-hearted comment about something I said, but I take it very personally.

I don't form close bonds with my friends, as a matter of fact, I don't really see any of my friends as friends but as aquantinces, those who I do feel some sort of emotional connection to, I'm very hard on them, I sort of have my own social rules about what a good friend is, and if I feel these rules are broken I feel hurt, betrayed even..

My point is, I don't have to tell you that living with Asperger's is sometimes a long and lonely journey, but there are great things about being an Aspie, our memory is extraordinary, we can memorize almost anything we want to and most NTs can't do that, we can become successful in the fields of science and engineering, and in the entertainment industry.

We can do pretty much anything an NT can, maybe even a bit better (except socializing of course, though I've known Aspies that can 'pass' for NT).

:)


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Joe90
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20 Aug 2011, 8:54 am

I feel similar. I get a wave of panic and anger come over me when I think of how common it is to be NT, and that most babies are born NT, and that I have 12 cousins who are all NTs (and the rest of my family too), and how I went to a mainstream school full of 1000 NTs (perhaps only a handful with other disability, still besides AS).

This is my only life I will ever get, the only body I will ever be in, the only eyes I will ever see the world out of, AND I AM LUMBERED WITH AS!! !! !! !! !! !! !! Me! If I think too deeply about it, I get to a point where I can't believe I've got it, even though I was diagnosed in childhood.

When I was diagnosed (at age 8 ), I got really confused. I kept asking my mum, ''why am I able to speak if I have this AS?'' And she had to keep saying, ''having social difficulties doesn't mean you can't speak.'' Then I kept on asking if I was adopted, since no-one else related to me has AS, and my mum had to keep on saying no.

One time, when I was 14, I got so angry with the popular girl in my class that when she was asked out by boys and invited out at week-ends by girls, and et cetera, I flew up and yelled, ''if you had AS they wouldn't be asking you that!! !! !!'' That made them all jump!


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Last edited by Joe90 on 21 Aug 2011, 4:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

Panic
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20 Aug 2011, 6:59 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I feel similar. I get a wave of panic and anger come over me when I think of how common it is to be NT, and that most babies are born NT, and that I have 12 cousins who are all NTs (and the rest of my family too), and how I went to a mainstream school full of 1000 NTs (perhaps only a handful with other disability, still besides AS).

This is my only life I will ever get, the only body I will ever be in, the only eyes I will ever see the world out of, AND I AM LUMBERED WITH AS!! !! !! !! !! !! !! Me! If I think too deeply about it, I get to a point where I can't believe I've got it, even though I was diagnosed in childhood.

When I was diagnosed (at age 8), I got really confused. I kept asking my mum, ''why am I able to speak if I have this AS?'' And she had to keep saying, ''having social difficulties doesn't mean you can't speak.'' Then I kept on asking if I was adopted, since no-one else related to me has AS, and my mum had to keep on saying no.

One time, when I was 14, I got so angry with the popular girl in my class that when she was asked out by boys and invited out at week-ends by girls, and et cetera, I flew up and yelled, ''if you had AS they wouldn't be asking you that!! !! !!'' That made them all jump!



whoaa....guess me and you are the only ones who realize this.....



Verdandi
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20 Aug 2011, 9:09 pm

I take great comfort in the fact that I have an ASD. It makes everything else in my life actually make sense.

I mean, there's really not much I can do about it, I feel pretty normal, and I am pretty oblivious to other people to the point that it's not really always easy to tell how they're different from me, so... I live with it.

It's better than feeling ashamed and depressed because I can't figure out why other people are able to function in ways I can't, when I can't work out what the difference is.

It is frustrating dealing with something you want to change and cannot, though. I wish I had advice on getting past that reaction.



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20 Aug 2011, 9:45 pm

I don't feel any different. It crosses my mind from time to time, but I feel no different.


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LuxoJr
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21 Aug 2011, 4:07 am

And when you smiiiiiiiiiiileee, the whole world stops and stares and stares for a whiiiiiiiiilee...

Sorry. Had to get that out. :lol:

Anyway, I agree very much with those who are content with the fact they have Asperger's. I think it's comforting to know that I'm different. It makes me feel like I'm on a different path from everyone else who is NT. Like everyone sails into the ocean but I sail down a river through a forest, or any other similar metaphor.
I don't like socializing, either, but I love my friends. My best friends and I share very strange sorts of emotional connections, the connections that only make themselves known when we really need each other's consolation. I can't do this with my family, however. For some reason, I can't show them that I can feel sad. I think it's because autism hasn't ever really popped into their heads, and on the other hand, my friends either know I have asperger's or they have it themselves.
I wouldn't ever change it, because it pretty much defines me (maybe 99% of me; the other 1% all my physical properties).


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Joe90
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21 Aug 2011, 4:11 am

Well if I wasn't told all these nasty things what frighten the s**t out of me like ''all Aspies give off vibes, you cannot escape it, everyone in public can see your weirdness, you will get weird looks for the rest of your life'', I might be able to live with it. I don't going out knowing I look like a freak when I'm not acting or looking like a freak. When you are an extrovert Aspie, it's really unfair to be told this and be told there is nothing I can do about this. It's causing anxiety when meeting new people because I know I look freaky, it's putting me off handing CVs around in shops because I know they will just look at me and think, ''whatever have we got wanting to work with us?'', and it's just very off-putting all around for me. It's making me call myself retarded and ugly, and it's built up a hatred of myself. It's even made myself repeatedly hit myself in the face yelling, ''f*****g UGLY FACE STOP GIVING OFF VIBES!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!'' I thought it'd work, but it hasn't.

If it weren't for all of this, I don't think I would complain so much about having it.


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LuxoJr
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21 Aug 2011, 4:20 am

Joe90 wrote:
Well if I wasn't told all these nasty things what frighten the sh** out of me like ''all Aspies give off vibes, you cannot escape it, everyone in public can see your weirdness, you will get weird looks for the rest of your life'', I might be able to live with it. I don't going out knowing I look like a freak when I'm not acting or looking like a freak. When you are an extrovert Aspie, it's really unfair to be told this and be told there is nothing I can do about this. It's causing anxiety when meeting new people because I know I look freaky, it's putting me off handing CVs around in shops because I know they will just look at me and think, ''whatever have we got wanting to work with us?'', and it's just very off-putting all around for me. It's making me call myself retarded and ugly, and it's built up a hatred of myself. It's even made myself repeatedly hit myself in the face yelling, ''f***ing UGLY FACE STOP GIVING OFF VIBES!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!'' I thought it'd work, but it hasn't.

If it weren't for all of this, I don't think I would complain so much about having it.


I often feel very insecure as well. Normally what I do is I ignore it. I let people think what they want to think, especially if I won't ever see them again. And even if I do, I don't care about them. Thus, their opinions don't matter to me. However, this is a problem when I have to meet someone important, or make a good impression. Then I put on my "normal face" and my "normal brain" and be as normal as I possibly can. I think this whole thing about vibes, in a sense, has a hint of truth to it. Based on their appearance, people can give ring a certain thought. Like, for example, a person sees a Middle-Eastern guy with a a beard and a turban and immediately thinks he's dangerous, and acts all cautious around him and gives him weird looks. However, that man may turn out to be actually very nice.
When it all comes down to it, it's about presenting your personality rather than your appearance. Therefore, appearance should be the least of your worries, but that's not to say it shouldn't be any of your worries. :P


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