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Infidelity and Aspergers

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Have You Ever Cheated on a significant other?
yes 25%  25%  [ 22 ]
no 75%  75%  [ 65 ]
Total votes : 87

Nereid
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20 Aug 2011, 4:08 am

So I was curious if anyone in here has ever cheated on someone. I am thoroughly opposed to it, and since honesty and principle seems to be a running theme for many people with aspergers, I was curious if anyone in here has. And, if you have, why did you do it? I cant imagine ever hurting someone I was with that deeply, not to mention I see it as a total lack of respect and a stab in the back. Dont want to be with someone, break up with them first!



glasscasket
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20 Aug 2011, 4:15 am

Yes. I cheated on one of my exes. He was an abusive manipulative piece of s**t. I had absolutely no self esteem at the time and I was too scared to break up with him. Other than that I have always stayed faithful.



auntblabby
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20 Aug 2011, 4:35 am

if i somehow lucked into an actual relationship, i would not jeopardize something so out-of-the-blue precious by screwing around like an alleycat. i will leave that behavior for the alphas.



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20 Aug 2011, 6:18 am

No. But every single one cheated on me. My current husband flirts right in front of my eyes which really pisses me off...especially when the other women gloat on it. I'd like to kick him right in the balls. I can't imagine him going any further than that but it would end in divorce.



pollyfinite
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20 Aug 2011, 10:15 am

No, I am married to an aspie. We have a mutual obsession with each other and other people are seen as getting in the way to where we want to be = Alone with each other. I have never been unfaithful in the past and neither has he. However, we have dated NT's who were unfaithful to us. Loyalty, honesty, and faithfulness to each other is how we maintain bliss.


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hartzofspace
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20 Aug 2011, 11:34 am

No, but I have been cheated on. I can't understand why people take the trouble to build a relationship, and then screw around in it? If the love light went out in my current relationship, I would work to rekindle it, instead of bringing someone else into the mix.


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Aspie_SE10
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20 Aug 2011, 12:46 pm

Have both been cheated on and been the cheater (once having been cheated on).

Both felt so, so wrong and my mis-step (e.g., cheating) felt so bad that the "cheating" action (having dinner with a friend that I know my then GF considered a threat) I left mid-meal.



anna-banana
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20 Aug 2011, 1:11 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
I can't understand why people take the trouble to build a relationship, and then screw around in it?


yeah. then there's also the trouble of: 1) finding someone to cheat with; 2) keeping the affair secret. I'd simply be too lazy to do all that.


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Grisha
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20 Aug 2011, 1:21 pm

No.

Never have, never will: I am extremely loyal.

I have been cheated on though, by my (now) ex-spouse.



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20 Aug 2011, 1:44 pm

No, never, and it's not from lack of opportunity.

It's a keystone of my moral self-image. To cheat would be to harm myself.



Grisha
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20 Aug 2011, 2:07 pm

simon_says wrote:
No, never, and it's not from lack of opportunity.

It's a keystone of my moral self-image. To cheat would be to harm myself.


I feel the same way - it's like if I ever crossed that line, I wouldn't be "me" anymore...



sagan
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20 Aug 2011, 7:27 pm

pollyfinite wrote:
No, I am married to an aspie. We have a mutual obsession with each other and other people are seen as getting in the way to where we want to be = Alone with each other...


Mutual obsession. :heart: Sounds perfect.


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hartzofspace
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20 Aug 2011, 7:43 pm

sagan wrote:
pollyfinite wrote:
No, I am married to an aspie. We have a mutual obsession with each other and other people are seen as getting in the way to where we want to be = Alone with each other...


Mutual obsession. :heart: Sounds perfect.

My fiance and I have something similar to this. Other woman he has been with just didn't "get" him. I do. I would be deeply mortified if either of us were driven to cheat1 I just don't see that happening, though. We are very close.


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auntblabby
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21 Aug 2011, 1:31 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
No. But every single one cheated on me. My current husband flirts right in front of my eyes which really pisses me off...especially when the other women gloat on it. I'd like to kick him right in the balls. I can't imagine him going any further than that but it would end in divorce.


IMHO it would be better to be alone and hermited, than to submit to such disrespect from another mere mortal.



hartzofspace
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21 Aug 2011, 11:07 am

auntblabby wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
No. But every single one cheated on me. My current husband flirts right in front of my eyes which really pisses me off...especially when the other women gloat on it. I'd like to kick him right in the balls. I can't imagine him going any further than that but it would end in divorce.


IMHO it would be better to be alone and hermited, than to submit to such disrespect from another mere mortal.

Seconded.


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Paganpothead
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21 Aug 2011, 9:32 pm

auntblabby wrote:
if i somehow lucked into an actual relationship, i would not jeopardize something so out-of-the-blue precious by screwing around like an alleycat. i will leave that behavior for the alphas.
I have never cheated on anyone, I did have a small fling while we were in the talking stage, but does that really count?