Should I just go to Poland or what???! !

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CMX
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21 Aug 2011, 1:31 am

So I'm 23 years old and I study philosophy in University, and at the moment I've got this massive crush on this young woman who is also from Finland and who with I went to highschool. The little problem in this case is that she lives in Poland at the moment and I haven't been in real contact with her for a some time. Should I just go there and be in contact with her? I'm quite sure that I could get her address from her pals. This may sound crazy but I know that she is just the kind of person who likes if man is enthusiastic and confident in this manner. I messaged her in facebook last sunday and she accepted my friend request in few minutes and sent an message to me which I have not been able to open because of my subconscious issues. In the childhood I thought that I may have aspergers but that's in conflict with that fact that I seem to be more confident and I have more options to boost my own things in face-to-face interaction than in writing which I'm sure you can all notice..

She is just so unbelievably gorgeous girl who highlights all those good things I prefer in life. She can speak many languages, she plays the piano and has been able to take all the s**t which runs down on her neck every day because she is an active member of National coalition (Like Conservatives in UK) in Finland.

Please remember that I haven't usually communicated in writing in english language.. :D


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The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Aug 2011, 4:40 am

What was her reply message on FB?


Quote:
Should I just go there and be in contact with her? I'm quite sure that I could get her address from her pals
.

Listen cutie, if she loved you she would have let you know her new address.

I am sorry.



hale_bopp
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21 Aug 2011, 5:33 am

Sounds a bit like stalking. Can't you at least get to know her first?



blitzkrieg
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21 Aug 2011, 6:35 am

No. You need to ask her first if she wants you to do that. Turning up without arranging it with her first is stalker behaviour. If she wants to meet you then obviously you don't need to get her address through pals. Why haven't you opened her Facebook message? That's important as what she is saying there might go against your idea of wanting to meet her. High school was a long time ago and she is most likely a completely different person now and you two will almost be strangers. You say you haven't been in 'real contact' with her for some time now - when was the last time you actually saw her? You live in a different country, how do you think she's going to feel if you have travelled such a long way to see her? You'll be putting her in an awkward position as she won't want to send you packing but at the same time she will considering your behaviour.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Aug 2011, 6:53 am

^^
And do you think she still single ? Usually foreigner girls are highly desirable and would be fast to be taken.

Honestly, I think you're just having a little crazy fantasy idea. Better to go back to reality and to your senses, but anyways there would be no loss if you read her FB reply.



anna-banana
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21 Aug 2011, 8:54 am

OP, whatever happens, DO NOT go to Poland.

it's not worth it.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Aug 2011, 10:40 am

:lol: Someone loves that place so much.



anna-banana
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21 Aug 2011, 11:19 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
:lol: Someone loves that place so much.


what's not to love? :wink: :lol: got some spare nukes?


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The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Aug 2011, 11:57 am

anna-banana wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
:lol: Someone loves that place so much.


what's not to love? :wink: :lol: got some spare nukes?


I think your giant neighbor has a lot of nukes to spare ;).



886
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22 Aug 2011, 7:58 am

CMX wrote:
I've got this massive crush on this young woman. Should I just go there and be in contact with her? I'm quite sure that I could get her address from her pals. I messaged her in facebook last sunday and she accepted my friend request in few minutes


So basically you want to move to a foreign country, get an address from her friends, to hope to be with a girl you just started talking to on facebook? Damn, I really read that the wrong way but that sounds... horribly stalkerish. :?


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sagan
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22 Aug 2011, 11:15 am

blitzkrieg wrote:
No. You need to ask her first if she wants you to do that.


+1
Really, please, ask her first.


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Lilya
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22 Aug 2011, 3:04 pm

If she's an active member of National Coalition (in Helsinki) there's a good chance I actually know her :lol: Why not to talk to her first, on fb or otherwise before considering a trip. Surely she'll be visiting Finland at some point as well.


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tcorrielus
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22 Aug 2011, 7:45 pm

If you have a crush on that old high school mate of yours that you have a crush one and haven't seen for such a long time, it is NOT wise for you to secretly get addresses from her friends and move to Poland just to see and be with her as a surprise. First of all, you don't know what she's been up to since high school. Second, she could have a boyfriend or husband who would be very jealous if you shown up to interact with her.

Don't rush friendships or relationships. Just continue to communicate periodically via Facebook in order to get to know the girl very well. Once you two know each other very well, you can arrange to visit each other one day. Take things one step at a time.



AsteroidNap
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22 Aug 2011, 11:59 pm

I've come to this conclusion: You know in romantic movies, when the guy gives up everything to follow the girl, and we all swoon at the amorous courage and audacity? Yeah, don't do that.

Here's why...it's only romantic in hindsight. In the moment, it's really creepy. To counter this, you have to make it appear you're moving to the area of your 'beloved' for some other reason than to be with them. Then if it works out, you hook up, and get married at some future date, you can reveal your ploy to your significant other on your 50th wedding anniversary. I guarantee by that time, it will be seen as romantic again.



Tayribeiro
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23 Aug 2011, 1:02 pm

That might sound romantic but you'll come off as a creeper, try maintaining contact with her and chatting via cam a few times, then you start mentioning how great it would be if both of you meet sometime, and if you're going to Poland, don't let her know she's the reason you're there, tell her you're on a business trip or something.



The_Face_of_Boo
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23 Aug 2011, 1:25 pm

I have a feeling that he has already gone to Poland.