Figure skating or hockey, need advice (long post)

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So, this March, I started ice skating again. I went to like 3 birthday parties ice skating as a kid in elementary school, and then maybe 6-7th grade, I did a learn to play hockey course for about 10 weeks at my rink. I really liked it at the time, but my parents were getting broke, and could never afford the cost to play hockey per year as a kid (like $1000 league fees, plus 300-400 for new equipment) so after that, I never skated again. One day, me being 20 years old, decided to get back on the ice again. I live like 8 minutes from an ice rink, free rentals, $5 a session, what a great deal, you know? After my first time back on the ice, well, I sucked, but I was hooked. I loved it. I go ice skating almost every day now during public session, and there's a great deal where if you join the gym next door you only pay $27 for the gym membership and unlimited public ice time.

My transition over time went from terrible rental skates, to my own hockey skates, and finally to figure skates. I got super duper impressed by these figure skating girls who skated super fast and had such good control, that I just had to have their skill, too. So, I just sorta got super determined, first bought my own hockey skates, then bought my own figure skates, and tried to just learn as much technique as I could. I got lucky, got my figure skates for 60 bucks brand new condition (usually those boots would be like 150 or so for a new equivalent) and just sorta went at it. I never have enough money for coaching (80 an hour) so I just skate around, ask random people how they do stuff, and try to learn best I can that way. I've been told I'm doing well for only skating like under 6 months, but I guess I hold myself to high standards. I mean, I'm concerned over my lack of ability to do a mohawk, and then someone told me this girl who's up to double axel now who's been skating since she was 3 took 6 years to learn to do a mohawk, and again, no coaching. Either way, figure skating is hard, and there's also no endgame, I'm 20, I could maybe end up coaching, but even that's unlikely.

Problem is, I love figure skating. It's so fun. It just feels perfect for me, I get to skate around alone, go really fast, eventually learn to do cool tricks, etc. Plus, the general "atmosphere" of the sport is awesome. First off, hot chicks, tons of them. I mean that in itself, you get to skate around with hot chicks potentially. So it's not career or monetary win, but it gives me a place to meet girls and relate to them and whatever, so there's that. But the main thing I like is the individualist nature of the sport. Everyone is just there to skate for themselves, you're not going to let down a team, it doesn't matter what you do really, you're only skating for yourself, or if you end up in ice dance or pairs, possibly for a partner. I mean, there's proper and improper ways to do techniques, but the reason why they're proper and improper isn't usually arbitrary, and most of the time, you're not even competing, you're genuinely skating for yourself alone just because you like it. As for the people who do it, I like that, too. They're not really nosy about you, and just keep out of your way if you keep out of their way, but at the same time, they're generally willing to help you to an extent. Also, people who figure skate, tend to be, especially for people who are not teenage girls, tend to be very smart and eccentric people. I also see people who seem to have AS spectrum type stuff, too, in the kids who do it and the adults. I mean, I love it, it's fun, and it's a sport that allows you to explore sort of the "nice" emotions, too, I can see why it'd attract people like that. Oh, and I get to listen to Gundam music while I do it, I mean, you can't get cooler than that, hot chicks, ice, anime music, it's the best.

....However....

I'm a 20 year old male, and I'm fast on skates. A lot of the time in public session, I'm just wanting to take emotions out or whatever, and I go fast. Figure skating helps me go really fast with controllability. As a figure skater, I'm pretty low level, I'd probably not pass Freestyle 1, and if I did pass, it'd be by a hair. Here's the thing though, I'm faster than most hockey players I've come across, can turn well enough for hockey, etc. I got the skating speed and control enough to play hockey. It's possible that I could completely suck at stickhandling, shooting, etc, but I could probably practice them up to par. But the main problem with most hockey players is lack of skating ability. They tend see skating as a means to an end, not just something to do in and of itself. I met a guy on a Tier 1/2 team today, and I was able to pass/keep up with him no problem, and he told me my skating is definitely good enough for hockey, for those that don't know, Tier 1 is like, semi-pro level players. People keep telling me "wow, you'd be good at hockey" when I was still in hockey skates, numerous times, people would be like "Are you on a team?" Part of it is my obsessiveness, I thought I was normal, and that other people are just unmotivated lazy people, but after awakening to that I'm different, I found out other people don't look at little details to get better as I do. I started changing my stroking pattern to get faster, trying to get my legs close to the middle of my body as possible, trying to land back on the outside edge each stroke, etc. One thing I'm also aware of very well is skate fitting and sharpening. Your skates must fit exactly right, or it's not going to work very well. Also, sharpening, most people who sharpen their skates just tell the guy "yeah, sharpen them" me, I didn't know the numbers, but I knew what I wanted, and discussed with the guy, etc. I'm heavier (188 pounds) so I go for a slightly shallower hollow of 9/16, but now I'm probably going to go way shallower. I take into account little details like that, as to me, they're "free." Why spend more physical effort or money when all I'd have to do is think more, you know?

The social aspect is a big thing, though. Even if I got good at hockey, it'd be irrelevant if I couldn't work with a team in the big picture, which is possible. The other thing, too, is hockey, it'd be better if I was around more 30+ or late 20s at the very least players (that would depend on team and play level), but it's just a different crowd than figure skating. Hockey, has some eccentric kind of people playing it, more so than other comparable sports, but it's a very "jock" kind of environment. I get along with "jocks" pretty well, actually, but I'd be weird to them, and them to me. Likely, if the play was serious enough, that'd all be ignored, but the feel I got especially in Tier 4 was it was like, hockey playing social club. Higher end leagues are going to be more mature and less social club like, I know this for sure. Besides that, the general feel of hockey is just rough, aggressive, and macho of a sport, and that's not really something I "want" to be like, you know? I listen to Perfume in my spare time... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykt-e6xPtZU

There's an endgame for hockey, too. I'm still young enough to get onto a college team, so if I'm a good hockey player, I can go to a prestigious college for free. Then after college, it's possible semi-pro, or even pro hockey. It has serious potential to make a career out of it, whereas figure skating, from what I can see, doesn't really, especially as I'm starting now at age 20. And it's not like I'd hate playing hockey either, I'd probably enjoy it, it wouldn't be like, unfun, to play hockey, just I much prefer figure skating and everything about it.

Part of it is more, do I wanna impress others, or be more happy with myself? I mean, theoretically, everyone says "oh, of course, be happy with yourself" but other people's opinions do get overwhelming at times. Hockey could be an easy way to impress others. Hockey fits a stereotypical male role for skating and it's "cool", whereas men figure skating is at best eccentric and at worst considered to be homosexual by the general population. Hockey can maybe get me to college, then I'd have a degree. However, the only reason I even want college, beyond maybe a few specialized things I'd like to learn that I couldn't learn otherwise as easily, that I'd probably just take the individual courses for anyway, is to impress others. I myself don't care about a college degree, it wouldn't make me feel better about myself, but it'd make things easier. The other problem, too, is drive and passion and whatever. I mean, I guess I "love" figure skating, but to me, hockey is something I care about as much as...Street Fighter 2? I like it, but not enough to really care terribly much about it or strive for it with no incentive at the end of the road as I do figure skating. The fact I'm not trying hard to play hockey just shows I don't have the same love for it as I do figure skating, if I just loved to play hockey, I'd be playing it right now. Hockey could potentially be my job, though, and hey, it's not really a bad "job" compared to what else I could be doing. Maybe it'll just be temporary, enough for me to grab a degree and move on, but who'd turn down the chance to play a professional sport?

So yeah, that's the dilemma. Obviously, none of this could come to fruition at all, and I'm likely thinking way too far ahead. But still, it seems to be a question that keeps getting presented to me. One metaphor I can think of, is a Biblical one, of Abraham, God told him he was going to have a son with his wife Sarah. His wife Sarah was like 70 or something absurd like that, and she laughed at God. Sarah didn't wanna wait, so she told Abraham to have sex with his slave girl Hagar, and just had a son named Ishmael by Hagar. Sarah hated Ishmael, even though it was her idea for Abraham to have sex with her servant Hagar (women...). Sarah eventually had Isaac, the actual son God promised to her and Abraham. I sort of feel like hockey could be my Ishmael and figure skating, could be the distant promise that would take a long time, but ultimately is what I want most. But, it could have been entirely possible for Abraham to just settle for Ishmael and call it a day, too. Hockey, you know, it's possible playing hockey, I'd get so enveloped in it, I'd forget about figure skating, or it's possible I'd badly hurt myself and never be able to figure skate again, and it'd all be for waste.

It's quite a decision. The plot line of this decision is almost like this anime here, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Detroit_Metal_City (I still gotta watch that...). In my super long post, I've obviously explored lots of options in thought already, just I'm wondering if anyone else would have any input at all about this, similar things happening in their lfie, etc. Sorry for the long post, I actually could type a lot lot more, but I'll leave it at this for now.

Thanks and God bless.

Why not just do both?

The important point to me would seem to be if you try Hockey and don't like it, you can stop and be no worse off than you are now (barring some nasty injury, but I'm presuming the injury aspect is not what you are worried about).

If you don't try hockey now, you may miss out on your chance if you leave it too long (at least in relation to college teams etc.)
To me, that would suggest you are best to give it a shot and see how it goes - if you hate it or are no good, you are no worse off, but if you don't try you will probably always look back and wonder what might have happened if you had done it.

The other option I thought of when reading your post is whether you have considered speed skating? I don't know anything about how it works as a competitive sport, but it would give you the fast skating and competitive sport aspect without the social / stick handling issues.

I have actually tried short track speed skates before. I loved it, actually. After my time with the figure skates, adaptation was quite easy on the speed skates, the only issue was lifting the leg on the outside edge up after crossovers for me. Speed skates were my favorite skates, but I still would like to pursue figure skating, but when I get a good job going again, I definitely wanna pick up some good speed skating boots just to use when sessions aren't too crowded.

I feel like I'd sort of be "making" myself play hockey, almost just for the possible end game, whereas figure skates I just want to figure skate just because.

But, short tracks would sort of be the same thing as figure skates, no "end game" whereas hockey provides a lot more "end game" and that's sort of my question. Go for the end game, maybe be happy later, or do what I enjoy now, and sorta let God (or if you don't believe in God, time, chance, whatever) sort out the details?

Do you know, I'm in a similar situation. I also started learning how to skate for hockey as an adult. It's something else really, isn't it? I've been meaning to blog about it because its been on my mind so much.

I've never been interested in figure skating, but whatever you choose, remember why you're doing it. Are you only playing hockey or skating for glory, to play in the nhl or olympics? Surely not, it's not realistic and you'll probably end up disappointed. Are you doing it to learn a fun new skill? Probably. Look, I'm from Australia where hockey culture is not huge. And I'm a woman. I was the only adult woman in my ice hockey development class with a couple of little girls, a few men in their twenties and about 20 little boys! But I enjoyed it anyway, I love learning skills and the kids are alot of fun. Most of the players in our hockey club are men, and they are a rough sort from a low socioeconomic background. I was nervous about that, sure. But generally we all get along really well, and it's shown me I can get along with people who are very different to me - because we all share this one interest that we all enjoy. When you give people a chance, they'll surprise you.

But there is no shame in doing both, if it doesn't break the bank. Just remember, you learn at noone's pace but your own.

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the trials and tribulations of a girl pretending to be normal

Starting hockey at age 20, you will not be able to play college hockey. The guys who try out for those teams have been playing hockey for 10-15 years already and it's completely unreasonable to think that you can catch up in just a few years.

That said, just do whatever you love. If you think playing recreational hockey would be fun, go for it. If figure skating is what you want to do, check out group lessons. They're going to be a lot cheaper than private lessons. Or do both!