Do you ever resent your Neurotypical Siblings ?

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gtw1983
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25 Aug 2011, 7:03 pm

I have done this a good bit.

Feel ashamed to say this,but I have a secret inner resentment and dislike of my 10 years younger brother just from him being himself.

He has always been a pretty outgoing guy,and has a very big circle of friends even though he's only 18.He's also naturally very charming and manipulative,and has been able to lie,bully, and con his way out of many situations.He gives off an enormous 'don't give a s**t' vibe that very much annoys me.Because being a logical Aspie I very well know it's going to get him into really big trouble someday.

And to make it worse other people can't seem to see through his BS and treat him like he's Mr cool (dudes),or Hot (girls)
The last part infuriates me so much because on a couple of occasions I have carefully practiced how to speak to a girl I like,with minimal or no results afterward.Despite my best efforts I still stammer,fidget a bit,and feel that constant pang of anxiety and nerves that rarely seems to go away.Then my brother just happens to stroll in to visit me.And before long all eyes are on him and even the girl I like is giving him goo goo eyes.

I've even managed to have a fun conversation with two girls,and then have him divert their attention away merely by standing there silent and looking sullen with his arms crossed.And I'm not talking about only 18-20 girls either.I had a friend that was 34 yrs old with a teenage daughter I was flirting with that told me he was hot.I've read books,practiced social techniques,nlp/hypnosis,and even forced myself into very social situations in a attempt to gain skill.But even if I do good for a while, within a few hours I just feel completely mentally exhausted and want to be left alone.

I've felt a lot better ever since I found out about Aspergers/Autism.At least now I know other people claims that 'You're not even trying/not trying hard enough' is wrong.
But the inability to emote,make good conversation,and kill the nervousness despite so much wanting to be a Social guy kills me sometimes.



Jory
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25 Aug 2011, 7:06 pm

I resent the way that my parents always treated my sister like #1 and me like #2, and continue to do so to this day. Even she's acknowledged this and apologized for it. (I told her that was unnecessary, since it's not her fault.)



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25 Aug 2011, 7:07 pm

Yes, and for a variety of reasons that are too involved to explain here.


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SammichEater
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25 Aug 2011, 10:03 pm

I resent having siblings, NT or otherwise.


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Lilithlee
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26 Aug 2011, 3:57 am

I have three sibling, all of which were very popular growing up. The only one I had a problem with was my younger sister, I was a little jealous of the fact she could have so many friends but be so mean and selfish to them.



MyriaJean
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26 Aug 2011, 11:30 am

Sometimes. She's not really NT - she has ADHD - but she seems to have an easier time with communication than I do. I guess I resent that she has an easier time letting people know she needs help or attention, so she gets it and I don't. She also got a diagnosis and I didn't because she was causing trouble, which means she has an easier time getting the things she needs (like medication and therapy).



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26 Aug 2011, 3:40 pm

YES!

Because it's kinda unfair, especially one of them.

She has all of my talents, and then some, and she's blonde and knows how to socialize.

BUT she still gets on the nerves of me and sometimes other family members.


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26 Aug 2011, 4:00 pm

I used to, but don't now.


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Misgen
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27 Aug 2011, 9:36 pm

I can sort of relate to your feelings a bit... my sister and brother to me I always admired them that they could have so many friends and good friends too. To me it felt like they had everything and I was just weird in school. My sister never helped me in school either but i don't blame her for it. She probably just wanted me to learn or be on my own. She couldn't really do anything to help me. So I don't resent them, actually i feel entirely differently about them lately and i realize my sisters and brothers not so different from me.. (well I'm still a bit weird :P).



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31 Aug 2011, 1:31 pm

No I don't resent her. I am sometimes slightly envious I suppose of the way she is relaxed with people and has many friends. However if I was more outgoing and such like her I wouldn't have made the life choices that she has so I am not envious of her in that way. I like to think that we usually get on well.



Nereid
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05 Sep 2011, 1:40 pm

I wouldn't say resentful as much as jealous. My family all kinda has goofy personalities, but they all still manage to cope socially. My brother has almost always had more friends than me, and certainly an easier time fitting in. I can see some of his goofy/odd personality traits we both share, and yet he seems to still come off as more normal. No issues with selective mutism, social anxiety, etc etc. It must be nice.



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05 Sep 2011, 9:59 pm

Neurotypical siblings? I'm the highest-functioning out of the lot of us. Which, I might add, is mainly to do with the fact that I actually push myself really, really hard to achieve things.
I doubt I'd resent them even if they were neurotypical, though. It wouldn't make sense. It's not as though the world has finite supplies of social skills, executive functioning and so forth and that neurotypicals are somehow making me miss out by taking up all the available supplies.


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MagicMeerkat
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06 Sep 2011, 8:16 am

Yes. I had an older brother who was a bully and always teasing me for my obsessions, phobias and sensetivities to external stiumili. I have a neice who lived with us for a while and was really more like a little sister. Her mother is bi polar and basicaly lived a lifestyle that wasn't sutible for a child. My parents were always going on and on about how I had it easy compared to her. Well at least she had friends in school and wasn't bullied constantaly. My parents always tell me that the bullying wasn't as bad as I remember it or that it was my fault. And they wonder why I am so resentful of her.


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icyfire4w5
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09 Sep 2011, 11:45 pm

Unlike you all, I can tell that my NT siblings resent me more than I resent them. They relish telling others that they are ashamed of me because my parents treat me as though I'm still a baby.



pree10shun
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10 Sep 2011, 12:48 am

I love my younger sister. She is the only person that understands me and my problems. We connect intellectually which is why communication with her is more easier than with my mom who also has AS. She isn't exactly outgoing and super-social but she's very independent. What makes me jealous about her is that shes a very confident and independent person.



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10 Sep 2011, 1:47 am

Mine are generally ok but they can be particularly nasty if they feel like it.