I miss my ex
I’m from Denmark and she’s from Kentucky, we met over the hip hop part of Twitter. We became good friends at the start of august this year and then after a week I already started getting feelings. She was pretty, funny, interesting, kind, smart, independent and we liked the same music, basically everything I’d want in a girl. But the only downside was, I have Asperger’s syndrome and she suffers from depression and anxiety. So when she’d freak out and get thoughts of self harming or just have a mental breakdown, I helped her.
And because I have Aspergers you can imagine how tiring and exhausting that becomes. So sometimes, when she got sad or anxious she got mad at me and I mistook it as her not caring about me. I was very conflicted and insecure at the time I got diagnosed very late and I didn’t know how to deal with my emotions so I freaked out and called her names and played the victim unfortunately. We broke up around October and talked on and off since and I’ve grown a lot since, I’m making more music, I’ve lost weight and I’m generally happier,
But Jesus Christ I loved her soooo much. She was my first girlfriend and I lost her because I was an idiot. And I wish everyday that I could take every mean word back and I wish she could see how much I’ve grown.
She said that she doesn’t wanna talk to me at all right now cause I broke her heart. She said “ask me again next year and we’ll see” a week ago so I’m hoping for the best, next year is only a month away but i still miss her every single day and I cry to Frank ocean almost every day thinking about how I messed up the relationship and how lucky I was to have her.
I’ll never forget her
30 Oct 2020, 3:03 am
