Friends abandoning you

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I have abandoned and been abandoned. It sucks both ways to be honest. People do have good reasons and they have bad reasons for it.

I sometimes get frustrated when my friends in general don't initiate things with me.

i have very few friends.......only 3-4
2 of them have been my past colleagues.
1 of them is my college friend.
1 of them stayed in the area i was staying previously

i had lost contact with my college friend for many years.....she changed once she got married
but then we met thru social networking site and though i talk with her in couple of months time.
i feel a change in her behaviour

another 2 of my colleagues also i had lost touch they were not calling up for couple of years
then recently they called up,

People change and we need to understand that....also we should not dig deep into their personal
life...its better if they want to disclose something on their own.

I cherish my few friends....the lady who stayed in my area previously i have helped her a lot
financially, also giving many of my books to her for reading.

i think if we are good with our friends and also keep a safe distance rather then barging ahead and becoming clingy
they will definitely be there for us.

Have I had positive life changes? Yes.

Have they ever coincided with having friends? No.

People abandon me all the time. I figure that's just the nature of the world.

This has happened to me a few times, but usually, it's mutual if that makes sense. I did have one friend, my best friend at the time, just drop away for no apparent reason. This was before I knew I was an Aspie or had even heard of Asperger's for that matter. We were good friends, hung out a lot, went to movies, baseball games, etc. One day, he just stopped returning my calls.

Yeah. I know what you mean.

Not knowing how it happened is the worst part.

It depends on the case. Sometimes, when someone "abandons" you, it is temporary as they are very busy for a month or two.

I don't think its a personal thing. It's probably all relative. I may have been left behind for people who are more interesting to the other person. Or they may have unintentionally misjudged me.

Very true. More often than not, the abandonment is not entirely personal, especially when people are young and still experimenting with what they really want in a friendship. It's common for someone to want one thing, but their friend may want something different, and they end up drifting apart because of this. Many friendships tend to end this way.

It is about the depth of the relationship at times, though. I have a few friends that I'm not able to see or talk with that often for various reasons (distance, work, lack of money), but we have shared important memories together, and when we get together, it's like we never left each other.

Yeah it's my life story.

It's likely because I'm morose and depressed whiner.

Only the extremely tolerant stick around.

It has happened to me many times. They stop inviting me because they either think I'm boring or they discover that I'm inept socially.

As an aspie, I can successfully make friends with people in school and at work. But the trouble that I am having is maintaining the friendships.

For instance, I try making friends with someone in a particular class or workplace. When the course is over (or when we plan to work elsewhere), we guys decide to swap contact info. Now here's the problem, I try to occasionally contact the friend from school or work via cell phone, email, or Facebook but the friend hardly or never returns my messages. In other words, he/she doesn't say anything to me at all. This problem has been happening since college and it really sucks. I don't know why this continues to happen for.