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TeaEarlGreyHot
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27 Aug 2011, 4:51 pm

Have you ever gone through what you felt were positive life changes only to have friends abandon you?


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MollyTroubletail
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27 Aug 2011, 5:20 pm

Yes, this happens with regularity to me. It no longer catches me by surprise, though it's still depressing.



cathylynn
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27 Aug 2011, 5:33 pm

it's happenned to me more than once, but the worst was when a best friend of four years suddenly became too busy to talk to me. i never figured out what i did wrong. i wrote her, enclosing a wedding photo, years later when i got married, apologizing for anything and everything and stating that the older and wiser me would not likely repeat whatever offense. she never wrote back.


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Moog
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27 Aug 2011, 5:42 pm

Yes. Those people must have only liked the you who was less positive.

Unfortunately we can't drag everyone with us on our upward ascent, they have to come willingly


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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27 Aug 2011, 7:14 pm

Moog wrote:
Yes. Those people must have only liked the you who was less positive.

Unfortunately we can't drag everyone with us on our upward ascent, they have to come willingly



Yeah, this is very true. There's also the ones that decide to try and drag you back. It's particularly difficult when they're family. :?


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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27 Aug 2011, 7:19 pm

cathylynn wrote:
it's happenned to me more than once, but the worst was when a best friend of four years suddenly became too busy to talk to me. i never figured out what i did wrong. i wrote her, enclosing a wedding photo, years later when i got married, apologizing for anything and everything and stating that the older and wiser me would not likely repeat whatever offense. she never wrote back.


I don't get why people do that. I had a friend I knew for 8 years that just disappeared on me after finding out something he didn't like. No warning, no trying to work it out... nothing.

I must not have meant that much to him. :shrug:


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Last edited by TeaEarlGreyHot on 27 Aug 2011, 7:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

TeaEarlGreyHot
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27 Aug 2011, 7:21 pm

MollyTroubletail wrote:
Yes, this happens with regularity to me. It no longer catches me by surprise, though it's still depressing.


I'm still surprised every time. I don't know if I have different ideas on what a friend really is or what.


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Tayribeiro
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27 Aug 2011, 8:58 pm

This happened to me many times, but then i am not very good at maintaining friendships, and i spent long periods of time without contact, so it was partially my fault, and i don't have long term friendships, but i do make occasional friends at college, work, etc.



chessimprov
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04 Sep 2011, 11:37 am

Friends have all kinds of reasons for abandoning each other. Maybe you're not reciprocating with them in the friendship, maybe they found others they like more maybe they or you are moving away and they don't want to keep in contact.



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04 Sep 2011, 11:44 am

Yeah, it happens.

If a person doesn't enjoy my company, they have a right to not be my friend. I don't really consider it their fault; we all want different things in life. I can't expect someone to just serve my interest without me serving theirs.

I've had at least 5 best friends leave me, 3 of which, it was mainly my fault. But I grow and learn from that.

The way I see it: I lose one friend, so what? There's millions of people out there. The empty space of one person can easily be filled by another person who means a lot to me.



Radiofixr
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04 Sep 2011, 11:48 am

yes I had my best friend from high school just cut off all communication with me for some unknown reason-maybe because his neighbor influenced him that I wasn't a good person or not financially high class enough to associate with him-many possible reasons why-I will never know-anything he ever wanted or needed I would help him with-I never really asked him for anything as much as I was asked for things and this person was more like my brother than my own brother-just because the neighbor or other people may make more money than you doesn't mean they are higher class or more trustworthy or better to associate with than a person like I am-so I guess I will never understand people that use finances to judge the friend worthiness of a person or potential friend


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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04 Sep 2011, 11:57 am

chessimprov wrote:
Friends have all kinds of reasons for abandoning each other. Maybe you're not reciprocating with them in the friendship, maybe they found others they like more maybe they or you are moving away and they don't want to keep in contact.


I've had friends suddenly abandon me when I try to reciprocate. I figure I was either not really their friend or I did it wrong.

I am moving soon, though.


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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04 Sep 2011, 12:00 pm

minervx wrote:
Yeah, it happens.

If a person doesn't enjoy my company, they have a right to not be my friend. I don't really consider it their fault; we all want different things in life. I can't expect someone to just serve my interest without me serving theirs.

I've had at least 5 best friends leave me, 3 of which, it was mainly my fault. But I grow and learn from that.

The way I see it: I lose one friend, so what? There's millions of people out there. The empty space of one person can easily be filled by another person who means a lot to me.


I don't expect anyone to suffer through my presence. Nor do I expect to get and not receive.

It's not so much losing a friend that bothered me. It was how it happened and the why. Not to mention the timing. Friends have a habit of suddenly deciding they don't like me whenever I'm going through hard times. I know I can sometimes be difficult to handle, but am I really so bad?


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AngelKnight
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04 Sep 2011, 1:55 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Have you ever gone through what you felt were positive life changes only to have friends abandon you?


I have experienced positive changes in life that friends didn't seem to share in, or at least it felt that way. I generally chalk that one up to a perspective issue on my part.

Actually having people I considered friends shy away because they couldn't deal, I have not had happen.



AngelKnight
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04 Sep 2011, 1:56 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
I don't expect anyone to suffer through my presence. Nor do I expect to get and not receive.

It's not so much losing a friend that bothered me. It was how it happened and the why. Not to mention the timing. Friends have a habit of suddenly deciding they don't like me whenever I'm going through hard times. I know I can sometimes be difficult to handle, but am I really so bad?


Doubt it. Hang in there.



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04 Sep 2011, 2:07 pm

I have abandoned and been abandoned. It sucks both ways to be honest. People do have good reasons and they have bad reasons for it.