all the symptoms but don't have aspergers

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iceveela
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30 Aug 2011, 11:26 pm

Yeah, according to some people, I should "live life" and not "put yourself in a label". sooo, I should live with all the symptoms of the disorder concentration issues, and issues related to it, including including the anxiety and depression, among many others, but not mention or think of myself as an aspie...? Maybe I should live with the hating my body, the "feeling like a female" etc and just not tell people or think of myself as a transsexual. Or the sneezing, runny nose, swollen eyes and just don't tell people or think of myself as having allergies...

maybe i should start a blog, and name it "I don't have aspergers but I have all the symptoms", but the name is kinda long, and I can definitely see some back-lash on the side of my parents. Being misunderstood is hard, especially if no one believes anything is wrong with you, but tells you "You're the weirdest person I ever met"...

Sometimes, I wish I could go into my own world... in a literal sense, I have my own mental world. I would be friends with all the native raccoons!


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Last edited by iceveela on 31 Aug 2011, 4:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Callista
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30 Aug 2011, 11:29 pm

Hey... you know depression and anxiety aren't symptoms of Asperger's, right?

That aside--I think maybe people say that kind of thing because they believe that saying you have AS is a way of insulting yourself because AS is automatically bad. So they tell you, "No, don't put yourself down."


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Ai_Ling
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30 Aug 2011, 11:34 pm

Who told you, you dont have aspergers? What was the reasons? If you tried to go in for a diagnosis and they told you, you didnt have aspergers then how did they explain all the aspie traits. Or was the opinions non-professionals.



Tuttle
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30 Aug 2011, 11:34 pm

iceveela wrote:
sooo, I should live with all the symptoms of the disorder, including the anxiety, depression, and concentration issues, among many others, but not mention or think of myself as an aspie...?


Um, so you know, anxiety and depression aren't symptoms of AS, they're symptoms of co-morbids of AS. You are likely to get people complaining about this and thinking that it only supports that you're not necessarily an aspie, which isn't what you're wanting.

Ask yourself, what else can explain these traits, is there something else that describes you? Are you sure that AS describes the traits that you have. And if you're sure, then pursue the official diagnosis that you were talking about - it'd be able to determine either way for you at a much higher certainty than you observing yourself can.

However, I like the blog name.



Last edited by Tuttle on 30 Aug 2011, 11:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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30 Aug 2011, 11:35 pm

Callista wrote:
Hey... you know depression and anxiety aren't symptoms of Asperger's, right?

That aside--I think maybe people say that kind of thing because they believe that saying you have AS is a way of insulting yourself because AS is automatically bad. So they tell you, "No, don't put yourself down."


True they are just disorders that can exist with AS....I have both.



iceveela
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30 Aug 2011, 11:36 pm

Callista wrote:
Hey... you know depression and anxiety aren't symptoms of Asperger's, right?


I know, But many people with aspergers are prone to anxiety and depression due to the issues involved with aspergers, etc.


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iceveela
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30 Aug 2011, 11:38 pm

Ai_Ling wrote:
Who told you, you dont have aspergers? What was the reasons? If you tried to go in for a diagnosis and they told you, you didnt have aspergers then how did they explain all the aspie traits. Or was the opinions non-professionals.


family opinions, and because they think i am over-reacting


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iceveela
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30 Aug 2011, 11:42 pm

Tuttle wrote:
iceveela wrote:
Ask yourself, what else can explain these traits, is there something else that describes you? Are you sure that AS describes the traits that you have.


Lets see... the only other thing that would describe all my traits, would be if I had a ton of little disorders for each and every one of my symptoms... so I am certain that I have aspergers, either that, or I am a really weird person who holds almost all of the symptoms...


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littlelily613
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31 Aug 2011, 1:41 am

I read your other thread too about your step-mom, but I will just post here. If you really feel like you have Aspergers, who cares what your step mother said? I did mention it to my parents (but very few others) before I got my diagnosis, because I wanted an opinion. It worked out well for me, but many are not quite so lucky. Not everyone gets the support they need from family. That doesn't mean you do not have it. I am also not saying you do have it. I think you should go see a qualified professional (a stepmother who aspires to one day be a psychologist--even if she is currently a psych student--is not a qualified professional, whether she likes it or not) and find out there.

As people have said, anxiety and depression are NOT symptoms of an ASD. MANY people on the spectrum have no depression or anxiety. Many people have both. Many have one or the other. Depression and anxiety are co-morbities, and you will find neither in the diagnostic criteria for any of the ASDs.

An evaluation of your life is important. As my diagnostician said: it really does not matter so much about what you are like today. What is important is what you were like when you a baby, toddler, child. It is a developmental disorder, so they will focus more on early life than they will now. Unless your stepmother has been around since you were a baby, then she really has no idea. You should consult your father, biological mother, even a grandparent, aunt or uncle--anyone who has been around enough to know what your development was like when you were really YOUNG.

Another psych I had pegged me as someone with anxiety on top of an ASD. (I slightly disagree with this--I don't believe I have social anxiety which is what she thought--anyway, beside the point). She asked me what came first: did I have the autism symptoms or the anxiety symptoms first? One has to come before the other. Either I was born autistic and anxiety came later, or I got anxiety as a teenager (or whenever) and that produced autistic-like symptoms. Not everyone with "all the symptoms" has autism. This is because sometimes those with "all the symptoms" had no symptoms at all for most of their life. Then they get anxiety or depression, and in a few people, this can create symptoms that can mimic an ASD on the surface even though the person is not autistic at all. Even if these symptoms are long-term, they are not permanent as they would be in someone who is really autistic.

So, that is what you need to decipher: what came first? People often say we know ourselves better than anyone else. This is partially true to an extent, but it can also be inaccurate as well. Often times people see themselves subjectively and exaggerate or diminish certain characteristics that more objective people on the outside can see (or not see, as the case may be). This is why many diagnosticians insist upon an interview with a third party (ie. parent) before making a diagnosis.

I am not saying you don't have it or you do, but I strongly suggest you see someone about this. If your stepmother doesn't want to be supportive, then don't include her--at least not until you know for sure. If you feel you do have an ASD, why would you give up on knowing this very important piece of your identity simply because she thinks you are "grasping at straws" as you said in the other post?? If you have a professional opinion backing up what you say, it would be absurd of her to continue disagreeing with you. You might find out you have an ASD and some unfortunate comorbidities, or you might find out you simply have an anxiety-depression combo without an ASD. Either way, you should know for certain, and get whatever help the psych thinks would be relevant to the condition you have.


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Ai_Ling
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31 Aug 2011, 2:27 am

iceveela wrote:
Ai_Ling wrote:
Who told you, you dont have aspergers? What was the reasons? If you tried to go in for a diagnosis and they told you, you didnt have aspergers then how did they explain all the aspie traits. Or was the opinions non-professionals.


family opinions, and because they think i am over-reacting


Is your family very familar with Aspergers and if there not, they cant really judge. Most people find it very hard to understand Aspergers. When I was first diagnosed, my family doubted it until something really bad happened a yr later when I went away to college. Basically the social demands were soo overwhelming and it was huge breaking point. I side with what someone said previously. What are the aspie symptoms a you think you have. Think about if there are other possible explanations. Having depression and anxiety arent reasons to have aspergers cause there are sooo many NTs that have depression and anxiety too. Remember aspergers is a condition of a deficit in social communication. There are numerous common co-morbid conditions however.



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31 Aug 2011, 11:41 am

Callista wrote:
Hey... you know depression and anxiety aren't symptoms of Asperger's, right?

They are extremely common co-morbids, as are a variety of mental disorders.

OP, if understanding yourself as Aspie is helpful in "letting go" of the need to be "normal", or of blaming yourself for your differences, and aids in emphasizing your strengths over deficits, I say you should call yourself whatever you damned well please.


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Last edited by ValentineWiggin on 31 Aug 2011, 11:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

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31 Aug 2011, 11:44 am

I can really relate to much of this thread.
People's thinking is habitual, and if people have for years thought that you were weird/obtuse/whatever on purpose,
then many of them would prefer to go right on thinking your difficulties/differences are your fault as opposed to a syndrome you can't control.

It's made far worse for Aspies than lower-functioning Autistics in this way,
because Aspies can be average or even exceptional cognitively, and yet totally-inept in other areas.


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iceveela
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31 Aug 2011, 12:07 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:

OP, if understanding yourself as Aspie is helpful in "letting go" of the need to be "normal", or of blaming yourself for your differences, and aids in emphasizing your strengths over deficits, I say you should call yourself whatever you damned well please.


thankyou, I do honestly believe that I am an aspie... but no one ever believes anything I say, despite that I am not a big liar... in fact, I hate lying if it can be helped. But thankyou for being open-hearted :-)


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31 Aug 2011, 12:10 pm

Perhaps you are an aspie. But may I ask why it's important for you to gain the label? In my personal experience I've found it better not to tell anyone I have aspergers, seeing as when I do I people make me a charity case.



kavb
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31 Aug 2011, 1:04 pm

Have you taken any of the tests? i am aware they are not true diagnostic tools, but it will at least let you see if you possess 'key' spectrum traits.

I feel what you are going through. I am 22 and am booked for a diagnosis in December. Like you, I feel I know I have Asperger's ( there are not many 'syndromes' that leave kids banging their heads constantly against walls and pillows in their earliest developmental years :lol: ).

As there is no 'cure' for ASD I find the diagnosis will be for peace of mind only. I do not need an excuse, I do not need a crutch, I am going to do my best in life regardless.



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31 Aug 2011, 1:22 pm

Quote:
there are not many 'syndromes' that leave kids banging their heads constantly against walls and pillows in their earliest developmental years


No, actually, there are a lot of syndromes like that, but with most of them the kid wouldn't be posting forum posts as an adult.