I can't hold a conversation.

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04 Sep 2011, 7:35 am

I think people will talk over you if you let them- stopping your sentence when you're interrupted* is where the deference comes in-
I've found that if I keep talking when someone tries to interrupt me, at the very least to say "Excuse me, I wasn't finished." produces better results.

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jackbus01
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04 Sep 2011, 8:03 am

littlelily613 wrote:

(Despite my returning on occasion

) I guess conversation can mean different things to different people. To me, this is not a conversation. According to the dictionary (dictionary. com), a conversation involves spoken words. I do see msn messenger as a modern update to a conversation, but I tend to stick with the modern definition of the word. I don't see conversation to be a series of letters which may or may not be read, responded to, or returned to.

I think the key difference is whether the communication is synchronous or not (for example you can't interrupt an e-mail).

Spoken conversations and online chat are sychnonous--that is they require a give and take. There are only a few people that I actually enjoy chatting with because my responses always seem to be far too verbose (in their prospective). Most people don't appreciate my verbosity, abrupt and sometimes random conversations. Everyone always complains that I ramble, but then I am always asked lengthly questions and then expected to get one sentence responses. I do not appreciate the limitation others sometimes impose on me because of this!

jackbus01
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04 Sep 2011, 8:09 am

littlelily613 wrote:

kfisherx wrote:

I am going to add perhaps a different perspective. When I talk to some autistic adults it drives me nutz because they can never get to the point. They have too hard of a time with details and never seem to get to the point leaving me to try to figure it out for them. If I let them ramble, I will have to stand around forever and sometimes still they do not get to the point.

Apparently, I would drive you nuts. I did not realize I did this abnormally until a few years ago when all of a sudden everyone seemed to simultaneously start interrupting me to get to the point. I get quite offended by that because I don't know how to speak any other way, then I get flustered and am unable to make any point at all. Makes me want to speak less actually, which I guess is beneficial for all those I tend to drive insane by my unending details.

You would not drive me nuts. I prefer detail-oriented conversations and I get frustrated when questions are not fully explored. Too many people want simple answers to overly general questions.

jackbus01
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04 Sep 2011, 8:23 am

kfisherx wrote:

I totally agree but if someone asks a very general question, it is difficult to properly respond without a lengthy response. A good example of such appears in this thread. "What makes a conversation?" You will probably need some outlining and a bunch of powerpoint slides for that one! If the answer is too brief than I question whether the topic is sufficiently covered.

draelynn
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04 Sep 2011, 4:39 pm

jackbus01 wrote:

littlelily613 wrote:

kfisherx wrote:

You would not drive me nuts. I prefer detail-oriented conversations and I get frustrated when questions are not fully explored. Too many people want simple answers to overly general questions.

Agreed!

I consider my conversation style 'thinking out loud'. I'll explore all aspects of an issue out loud, taking into consideration the points brought up by others and rework my opinion accordingly. It drives other people crazy - they consider it argumentative and, at times, two faced because I changed my opinion in some way from my original position. Making a point and outlining a concept is simply the opening line to a long detailed conversation for me!

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04 Sep 2011, 4:43 pm

jackbus01 wrote:

kfisherx wrote:

...which is why I stepped away from the conversation. I recognized I was 'arguing' my point while the others discussing it were of a 'fixed opinion.' and not interested in trying to change or influence my thinking or having me do the same. I'm a debater. I want people to challenge my thinking. I want people to give me new points of view I may not have considered. I want ALL the information on an issue, not just my own. But I have learned to bite my tongue and respect that other people just do not share that desire or need.

And, for the record, I do still consider this a 'conversation'.

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