Obsessed about a relationship

Page 1 of 1 [ 13 posts ] 

liveandletdie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 May 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 872

04 Sep 2011, 9:59 pm

Do people on the spectrum have trouble with becoming obsessed with a relationship?
I am dating a girl sort of and I have trouble thinking of anything else other than about her/the relationship.

Any strategies for not making it the focal point of your thoughts? =/


_________________
I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy.- Curt Cobain


Last edited by liveandletdie on 04 Sep 2011, 10:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

LostUndergrad9090
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jun 2011
Age: 178
Gender: Female
Posts: 892

04 Sep 2011, 10:08 pm

yeah man, it is not fun.



diniesaur
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2011
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 759
Location: in the Ministry of Silly Walks

04 Sep 2011, 10:40 pm

That's what happened to me, and the result was not a pretty picture. I suggest thinking about other people and creatures you love, remembering to do your favorite things, and trying to stay independent from the person you're dating--all the things I should have done, but didn't.



gtw1983
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jun 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 134

04 Sep 2011, 11:28 pm

liveandletdie wrote:
Do people on the spectrum have trouble with becoming obsessed with a relationship?
I am dating a girl sort of and I have trouble thinking of anything else other than about her/the relationship.

Any strategies for not making it the focal point of your thoughts? =/


Yep...either 'too obsessed' or 'too cold' toward their partners.
I've heard of Aspies on both extremes.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,774
Location: None

05 Sep 2011, 2:06 am

That's not aspergers.

It's a drug called infatuation ;)



Wayne
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2009
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 365

05 Sep 2011, 9:37 am

I've gotten obsessed with lots of girls over the years.

Of course that obsession turned them right the hell off... so I ended up in a relationship with someone I wasn't obsessed with, and that confused the hell out of me for a while.



liveandletdie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 May 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 872

05 Sep 2011, 10:50 am

hale_bopp wrote:
That's not aspergers.

It's a drug called infatuation ;)


isn't infatuation short lived?


_________________
I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy.- Curt Cobain


sagan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jan 2011
Age: 106
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,804
Location: Land of the Lost

05 Sep 2011, 2:34 pm

liveandletdie wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
That's not aspergers.

It's a drug called infatuation ;)


isn't infatuation short lived?


Not always. 13-15 year old me will attest to this. :lol:

Although now as I am getting older, I don't get infatuated as much or for as long as I did... What a relief. :wink:


_________________
The stars look very different today.


LostUndergrad9090
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jun 2011
Age: 178
Gender: Female
Posts: 892

05 Sep 2011, 2:48 pm

I'm the other way around. When i was younger after a break up I would be over the person. Now I'm stuck in infatuation.



liveandletdie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 May 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 872

05 Sep 2011, 6:00 pm

i dunno...when i think of infatuation I think of it being all about visually appealing...fantasizing about their face/body etc constantly

i guess there could be the same thing for emotional sort of things....but aren't all relationship that then if you want to say that? =/

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/infatuation

any obsession that someone on the spectrum has, could be considered infatuation.....

as in the webpage they use stamp collecting as an example......

anyways seems a very imprecise word that is not accurate in describing what I have in mind.

unless you want to say all special interests are infatuations...then it might be along those lines.


_________________
I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy.- Curt Cobain


nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,421
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont

05 Sep 2011, 6:15 pm

I'm completely obsessed with my relationship & girl rite now & have been sense it started a couple months ago. I do not think it is simply infatuation because there is a lot of real substance to this. I don't know how not to have it the focal point of my thoughts but I don't think being obsessed is necessarily a bad thing. I'm a better person with her in my life because our strengths & weakness balance each other out & my relationship with her motivates me to work on improving myself to be a better person


_________________
But I don't want to go among mad people, Alice remarked.
Oh, you can't help that, said the Cat: we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
How do you know I'm mad? said Alice.
You must be, said the Cat, or you wouldn't have come here.


diniesaur
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2011
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 759
Location: in the Ministry of Silly Walks

05 Sep 2011, 6:34 pm

nick007 wrote:
I'm completely obsessed with my relationship & girl rite now & have been sense it started a couple months ago. I do not think it is simply infatuation because there is a lot of real substance to this. I don't know how not to have it the focal point of my thoughts but I don't think being obsessed is necessarily a bad thing. I'm a better person with her in my life because our strengths & weakness balance each other out & my relationship with her motivates me to work on improving myself to be a better person


Believe me, you don't want to become too wrapped up in one person. It's great that you help each other, but try to keep some independence and find fun things outside of the relationship. Scary things can happen if you stay obsessed for too long--the scars on my arm are proof of that.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,421
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont

05 Sep 2011, 6:43 pm

diniesaur wrote:
nick007 wrote:
I'm completely obsessed with my relationship & girl rite now & have been sense it started a couple months ago. I do not think it is simply infatuation because there is a lot of real substance to this. I don't know how not to have it the focal point of my thoughts but I don't think being obsessed is necessarily a bad thing. I'm a better person with her in my life because our strengths & weakness balance each other out & my relationship with her motivates me to work on improving myself to be a better person


Believe me, you don't want to become too wrapped up in one person. It's great that you help each other, but try to keep some independence and find fun things outside of the relationship. Scary things can happen if you stay obsessed for too long--the scars on my arm are proof of that.

Your absolutely rite about that. I have some nasty scars on my upper left arm from when I had a mental breakdown after things ended with my ex 7/8 years ago but I learned a lot from the experience & my relationship with Megz is motivating me to work on myself & trying to get other things going in my life so in a way my obsession is motivating me to be less obsessed


_________________
But I don't want to go among mad people, Alice remarked.
Oh, you can't help that, said the Cat: we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
How do you know I'm mad? said Alice.
You must be, said the Cat, or you wouldn't have come here.