Joined: 4 May 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 3,431 Location: Florida
05 Sep 2011, 12:17 am
I sometimes get told over and over OMG! Brandy you only think of yourself! That's all you care about is if something benefits you but when we need you to do something you don't etc. I get told I'm selfish. I was curious if others here have been told that and what did you do about it?
Yeah I've been told that. I try to do nice things for people and be more giving. Like, on my birthday I took my cat to get vaccinated. I did something nice for the cat on my birthday instead of just thinking about myself.
Joined: 23 Jun 2011 Age: 27 Gender: Female Posts: 390 Location: My Own World
05 Sep 2011, 1:08 am
Yeah ive been called selfish,rude,mean and a jerk. But alot of time when ive been called those things I didnt even realize i was being mean. Most of the time I argue it if im called those things but it doesnt help.
Oh god yes. Now I can't even think of the last time I was told this so it must have been a while. I will usually hear it out of my mother so I quit telling her stuff about my life. I now only tell the positive.
My husband will tell me I am being mean or tell me that's rude. He doesn't do it to be mean of course, he is just doing it to help me and most of the time I don't understand how it's so rude or mean. Then he just tells me "Beth, just trust me."
Joined: 19 Aug 2006 Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 3,722 Location: London
05 Sep 2011, 1:37 am
Yes - I used to be, and still am, told that. And the girls at school used to say I was selfish. Although now I try to use my Selflessness Algorithms but they don't always work.
_________________ I am a partially verbal classic autistic. I am a pharmacology student with full time support.
I've been told that a lot when I was younger and it had an unfavourable impact on my mental health, as I had low self-esteem as a teen and I was diagnosed with Depression at the age of 23, because of all the things that my parents told me as a child and a teenager.
Joined: 6 Jan 2011 Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 34,470 Location: Somewhere in Colorado
05 Sep 2011, 10:26 am
Yes even though that is pretty much opposite of what is true, sometimes I wish I would think of my self a bit more instead of worrying so much about everyone else, they tend not to appreciate it anyways.
Joined: 23 Feb 2011 Age: 50 Gender: Male Posts: 2,505 Location: Hungary
05 Sep 2011, 1:05 pm
Yes, I've been told so. Mostly when it came to do household chores or eating food made for others...
_________________ Another non-English speaking - DX'd at age 38
"Aut viam inveniam aut faciam." (Hannibal) - Latin for "I'll either find a way or make one."
Yeah, by my mom.
The thing is, I only do things for other people if I'm bribed... or asked to, if I really like the person. I'm not just going to get up out of the blue and start doing your chores for you or anything like that.
Joined: 24 Jul 2011 Gender: Female Posts: 1,050 Location: israel
05 Sep 2011, 1:44 pm
yes, i've been told by my parents all the time, and other people hinted at it. it's not that i don't want to help but i don't always know when someone wants or needs something and they don't say it and they expect you to just know what they want, and other people do and they do something for that person and then i say to myself, hey, i didn't think about that. so that's what they wanted. why don't they just say so?
Joined: 16 Feb 2010 Age: 61 Gender: Female Posts: 1,699 Location: USA
05 Sep 2011, 9:29 pm
Getting told that is one of the things I've hated most about my life. It isn't true, but I've been told it enough and it never fails to make me depressed.
~Kate
_________________ Ce e amorul? E un lung
Prilej pentru durere,
Caci mii de lacrimi nu-i ajung
Si tot mai multe cere.
--Mihai Eminescu
Joined: 4 May 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 3,431 Location: Florida
05 Sep 2011, 11:54 pm
felinesaresuperior wrote:
yes, i've been told by my parents all the time, and other people hinted at it. it's not that i don't want to help but i don't always know when someone wants or needs something and they don't say it and they expect you to just know what they want, and other people do and they do something for that person and then i say to myself, hey, i didn't think about that. so that's what they wanted. why don't they just say so?
Exactly! They expect OMG! you didn't do X! Like they expect me to be a mind reader!! !! ! We Aspies don't automatically know what NTs (parents other family) want we have to be directly asked. Instead it's getting the 3rd degree OMG! you only think of yourself. We take you here/there etc. but you barely clean the house!! ! It gets old.