Ever been told you only think of yourself?

Page 1 of 2 [ 20 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

zeldapsychology
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,431
Location: Florida

05 Sep 2011, 12:17 am

I sometimes get told over and over OMG! Brandy you only think of yourself! That's all you care about is if something benefits you but when we need you to do something you don't etc. I get told I'm selfish. I was curious if others here have been told that and what did you do about it?



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,265

05 Sep 2011, 12:48 am

Yeah I've been told that. I try to do nice things for people and be more giving. Like, on my birthday I took my cat to get vaccinated. I did something nice for the cat on my birthday instead of just thinking about myself.



Kaelynn
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jun 2011
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 390
Location: My Own World

05 Sep 2011, 1:08 am

Yeah ive been called selfish,rude,mean and a jerk. But alot of time when ive been called those things I didnt even realize i was being mean. Most of the time I argue it if im called those things but it doesnt help.



AbleBaker
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 25 Nov 2010
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 212

05 Sep 2011, 1:11 am

Yes, I've been called that. It's probably true. I'll do things for other people if they ask but I'm usually too preoccupied to think of it.



League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

05 Sep 2011, 1:35 am

Oh god yes. Now I can't even think of the last time I was told this so it must have been a while. I will usually hear it out of my mother so I quit telling her stuff about my life. I now only tell the positive.

My husband will tell me I am being mean or tell me that's rude. He doesn't do it to be mean of course, he is just doing it to help me and most of the time I don't understand how it's so rude or mean. Then he just tells me "Beth, just trust me."



SteelMaiden
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Aug 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,722
Location: London

05 Sep 2011, 1:37 am

Yes - I used to be, and still am, told that. And the girls at school used to say I was selfish. Although now I try to use my Selflessness Algorithms but they don't always work.


_________________
I am a partially verbal classic autistic. I am a pharmacology student with full time support.


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,547
Location: Stalag 13

05 Sep 2011, 10:05 am

I've been told that a lot when I was younger and it had an unfavourable impact on my mental health, as I had low self-esteem as a teen and I was diagnosed with Depression at the age of 23, because of all the things that my parents told me as a child and a teenager.


_________________
Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,470
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

05 Sep 2011, 10:26 am

Yes even though that is pretty much opposite of what is true, sometimes I wish I would think of my self a bit more instead of worrying so much about everyone else, they tend not to appreciate it anyways.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

05 Sep 2011, 12:00 pm

I do. So does every adult male who I know.


_________________
Female


OJani
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2011
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,505
Location: Hungary

05 Sep 2011, 1:05 pm

Yes, I've been told so. Mostly when it came to do household chores or eating food made for others...


_________________
Another non-English speaking - DX'd at age 38
"Aut viam inveniam aut faciam." (Hannibal) - Latin for "I'll either find a way or make one."


Ellytoad
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 18 Apr 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 424

05 Sep 2011, 1:27 pm

Yeah, by my mom.
The thing is, I only do things for other people if I'm bribed... or asked to, if I really like the person. I'm not just going to get up out of the blue and start doing your chores for you or anything like that.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 59,883
Location: Stendec

05 Sep 2011, 1:35 pm

zeldapsychology wrote:
Ever been told you only think of yourself? ... I get told I'm selfish. I was curious if others here have been told that and what did you do about it?

Yes, often (I'm in my mid-fifties).

I tell them, "Well, someone has to!"

That usually shuts them up.


_________________
 
No love for Hamas, Hezbollah, Iranian Leadership, Islamic Jihad, other Islamic terrorist groups, OR their supporters and sympathizers.


felinesaresuperior
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,050
Location: israel

05 Sep 2011, 1:44 pm

yes, i've been told by my parents all the time, and other people hinted at it. it's not that i don't want to help but i don't always know when someone wants or needs something and they don't say it and they expect you to just know what they want, and other people do and they do something for that person and then i say to myself, hey, i didn't think about that. so that's what they wanted. why don't they just say so?



Ghonasiflaids
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 30 May 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 54

05 Sep 2011, 3:20 pm

I've been told that. Because its true. I hate people.



Meow101
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Feb 2010
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,699
Location: USA

05 Sep 2011, 9:29 pm

Getting told that is one of the things I've hated most about my life. It isn't true, but I've been told it enough and it never fails to make me depressed.

~Kate


_________________
Ce e amorul? E un lung
Prilej pentru durere,
Caci mii de lacrimi nu-i ajung
Si tot mai multe cere.
--Mihai Eminescu


zeldapsychology
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,431
Location: Florida

05 Sep 2011, 11:54 pm

felinesaresuperior wrote:
yes, i've been told by my parents all the time, and other people hinted at it. it's not that i don't want to help but i don't always know when someone wants or needs something and they don't say it and they expect you to just know what they want, and other people do and they do something for that person and then i say to myself, hey, i didn't think about that. so that's what they wanted. why don't they just say so?



Exactly! They expect OMG! you didn't do X! Like they expect me to be a mind reader!! !! ! We Aspies don't automatically know what NTs (parents other family) want we have to be directly asked. Instead it's getting the 3rd degree OMG! you only think of yourself. We take you here/there etc. but you barely clean the house!! ! It gets old.