Your worst dating experiences

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It's really hard to decide which on was the worst...

Jesus @#$%, where do you live!?? I need to make a note to myself to keep a big wall up if I'm ever out there. Sounds like that hick town in U Turn.

My worst dating experience?



Oh right... What experience?

Would being on a date without knowing it was a date apply? My brother, whom I had asked to come along because I didn't think it was a date, said the guy we went to dinner with and I were actually on a date. I refute this because how can one be on a date without knowing it?

I met a guy online once. He seemed shy but we agreed to meet up.
I got to the bar, looked around, couldn't see him anywhere. But he was actually there - it was the face blindness kicking in. Would have been fine if he'd introduced himself, but he didn't say a word.
I assumed he'd stood me up, and happened to bump into a friend who introduced me to another friend, and we hit it off - while this poor guy was still there, watching it! He was a bit peeved when I next bumped into him online.

It's really hard to decide which on was the worst...

1. I was alone at a frat party (not on a date), minding my own business while watching the girls dance, when one of them started treating me as her own personal audience by doing the best pole-dance without a pole I've ever seen. The more attention I paid to her, the more she seemed to enjoy it. When the music stopped, I asked if she would like for us to spend some time together in a more private place. She then made it clear that my interest in her proved (to her) that I was some kinda perv. She said it so loud that I felt humiliated by all the other people's laughter, and I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

2. An older woman in one of my classes invited me over for the night, telling me that she and her husband were "separated". The only separation in play was that he was working a double shift at the police department. She "forgot" to warn me that he might be returning home early in the morning, which he did. I had to dress on the patio roof while she insisted in a loud voice that he was imagining things. By the time he came outside to look for me, I was three houses away, trying to convince a pit bull that I was not his new chew-toy.

3. Another frat party. This time a cute girl asks me to dance and gets all affectionate with me. We dance and make out for a while, and then she disappears. She returns with her boyfriend who isn't at all happy to see me, and I break another record for the cross-country dash.

4. An ordinary date. We're talking, we're eating, we're drinking, and I thought we were really starting to connect. After about her fourth margarita, she starts mean-talking her father, her past boyfriends, her ex-husband, and just about every other man she has ever met. Then she starts in on me. It wouldn't have been so bad if she weren't standing between the tables, pointing at me, and accusing me of all sorts of weird, perverted things that some men like to do to women, all at the top of her voice. The manager threw both of us out.

5. Another ordinary date. Really. Everything went fine, and I asked if we could meet again, same time, same place about a week later, and she agreed. So there I am a week later, all dressed up and spiffed out, when an older gentleman comes up and tells me that my date couldn't make it, and that she explained everything in a note that was inside the envelope he was handing me. Inside the envelope were some legal papers claiming that I was the father of her child, and that I was two years behind in support. After my lawyer got done wrangling with hers, I find out that she was willing to settle out of court for a few thousand dollars. We went to court, where the results of a simple blood test determined that there was no way that I could be the child's father. The judge dismissed the case,.

The places where all of this happened are all within 10-15 miles of each other, and about 3000 miles from where I live now.

It all happened in and around East Lansing and Okemos, in Michigan, back in the late 1980s. I live near Los Angeles now - a much nicer place.

Yikes man, you've had some real screw cases by the sound of it. I'm really sorry.

Wow, my dates don't sound as bad as the ones here like Fnord's and Humperdinck's. Umm, well one was embarrassing because I went out with this guy from school. I had no clue what he was like, and he turned out to have absolutely no clue - he tried to fondle my breasts when we were sat on a bench outside a busy shopping centre, and I found out later on that his parents had been following us to check on him. Later on when he came to mine, he tried to lift me up (I'm overweight) and he went "heaaaavvveeee" and his face went bright red as he was struggling very hard to lift me.

Humperdinck's worst dating experience.

When Humperdinck was young and foolish, he was asked out by a guy online. Thinking the guy was alright, humperdinck agrees to meet him the the border's coffeeshop. He turns up and pushes his seat right next to humperdinck and places his hand on humperdinck's theigh. Humperdinck is scared but doesn't know how to respond to 6'9" creepy guy. Creepy guy goes up to the counter and order's coffee. He keeps looking at Humperdinck the how time and comes and sits straight back down. Creepy man now touches Humperdinck's theigh higher and Humperdinck tries to move the chair further away by adjusting. Creepy guy pulls humperdinck back really close and tries to fondle Humperdinck's crotch.

At this point Humperdinck Stands straight up and screams at the man to stop trying to molest Humperdinck. Everyone in the shop is staring. The man starts crying.

Humperdinck walks out of Border's.

i have 2 mobile phones in my pockets at most social instants.

i have one in my top pocket (my default phone which everyone knows), and another one in my pants pocket.

the phone in my pants pocket is primed to call the phone in my top pocket when i press the "call" button (which i can feel to press).

when i am sick of a situation, i press the button in my pants pocket that causes my phone in my shirt pocket to ring, and i answer it and i say "yes....yes.....i will be there very soon", and i excuse myself and go.