Real men don't play video games?

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I kind of want to examine this one - I tend to think its a somewhat rare perspective these days, perhaps a lot more common in the early 90's when they were first coming out and when it was a 'young' thing. I completely understand as well that with some women's style and personality they will inherently tend to either attract, be attracted to, or both, guys who will be of the variety who would sit there and play games all day the same way a lot of people sit on the couch and watch TV from the time they get home until the time their in bed. At the same time though a guy who's already done or is actively doing lots of things to improve himself, who's trying to save money and by getting good mileage out of a video game or two is saving himself from going spendthrift on significantly more expensive hobbies like the newest designer golfclubs, a new dirtbike or ATV, the latest H&K 9mm when he already has a few toasts that aim and fire just fine, or even worse just running up a big bar tab. I'd tend to think in that case he's actually doing something pretty responsible.

I would guess that even of the women who do criticize the idea of guys over 30 playing video games that most have it in mind that they mean specifically men who are 'gamers' rather than men who happen to play once in a while to stay out of trouble. However I just wanted to clarify it a bit - is it just that, a quantity and priority issue, or is it something more fundamental where seeing any amount of it is a turnoff?

eh i know lots of grown men who enjoy videogames. i think in relationships the issue comes when it gets in the way of other things or it becomes hard to drag them away from it- but it would be the same if the gaming were interchanged with golf/tv/internet/running/vatever.

I'm with OSB on this. I never had an issue with men that gamed... especially when I was young and a gamer myself. Thank GAWD I kicked that one.

I guess if you indulge in something that you're partly ashamed of, you'd rather pair up with someone who does that as well, otherwise you'd be afraid of being ridiculed or just having to explain yourself would be bothersome. there are plenty of female gamers, some of them closeted

on a purely theoretical level - gaming should be the perfect hobby for a guy, from the female perspective. it keeps him at home! with the kids! away from the pants of other women! no booze involved!

I have a hard time seeing how any girl would have a problem with moderate gaming.

on the other hand - *all* of the gamer guys I know are medium to hardcore gaming&porn combo addicts, so I dunno..

Real men play Game, not video games.

Meh meh meh :trollface:

I'd still find it strange though if it was that common for someone who spends a few hours a week or every other week at most really has something to be ashamed of. Seems like there are matters of misplaced priority and then there are more absolute matters of gender specification. I had a feeling that its mostly priority, just wanted to doublecheck my own assumptions though.

Most of my own videogaming (or what I'd consider a bit comperable) looks a bit like this:




Exactly. The only other way I could figure is that there are people out there really into athletics, outdoor activity, church volunteer work, etc. so much so that they want a partner whose as all-in as they are.

My problem was always that he was home. I much preferred the hobbies that took my ex away from home.

I'm a bit of an ass sometimes, though.

Heheheh.

Here's my claim to fame - all that money I didn't spend on tail-chasing and buying $500 outfits, for the person who ends up in my life indefinitely that will be how much money 'we' saved.

If you have a penis, you are a real man. Perhaps what the person is saying is "My type of man wouldn't play video games. He'd give me attention all day long!"

There should be a healthy balance. It's hard when you are a highly focused person to do. You should avoid someone who demands too much attention as well because that is not a healthy balance.

Establish a cut off limit.

When doing the break. Replace old value with walking outside or getting some form of exercise. It always feels strange and can set you off kilter maybe even making you feel a little annoyed at first that you could be spending that walking time going back to what you were doing. Anything can become routine.

If you are alone... this cutoff switch is beneficial still because it paves the path for the future of when cutoffs are beneficial. This is a mental exercise using will power.

During your walks if you are a creative type, let your mind empty and take in your surroundings. This may enhance your creativity for your project as well.

If you have nothing else to do after the walk and no other responsibilities, go back to your project but create another cutoff limit with time. Follow through.

If at this time it is your bed time, create a routine that follows the cutoff such as drinking something healthy before bed and literally tell your brain, it's time for sleep.


If you do get into a relationship in the future, try to find someone who has their own hobbies but both of you take time out to enjoy each other. That creates a healthy balance for the two of you.

Often times when aspies get into relationships, it turns into a battle with alone time and attention leaving the aspie feeling drained and the other person resentful if the other person does not understand alone time.

Just remember, anything can become routine. If something becomes too routine and you feel like it would make you frustrated or angry if you did something different such as you wear the same type of clothes all the time and you'd feel naked wearing something different, think of it as a manual reset of your usual routine and liberation once you follow through. The first few days of this new transition feels awkward but after a week, you feel like you've accomplished something and have set yourself free even if in just one area.

Now the bad news is let's say you never wear shorts, only pants. Once you've liberated yourself, now you are ALWAYS wearing shorts! Create a pattern. Shorts, pants, shorts, pants, shorts, pants, shorts. Next week, jumble it up. Shorts, shorts, pants, pants, pants, shorts, pants. Same with any article of clothing.

Eventually, breaking a cycle becomes subconscious. It does look strange in writing and simple but after practicing these mental exercises that other people just do naturally with no thought behind it, let me know how it feels if you give it a try.

I think tech's on the money,
or at least
I'd hope there are a lot more women who have probs with a 30 year old who plays video games all day on his mom's couch, than with a 30(+) year old who plays before or after work or school, taking care of his kids, and generally living a functional, independent-or-moving-toward-it life.

My boyfriend and I play MarioKart.
Er, I play, and he gets his ass turtle-shelled.

I'm not a chick, but I don't think just ANY amount is a turn off. A lot bachelors I know get really good looking women to date them, and have some sort of gaming system and play things like Call of Duty or Crisis or something like that. If they're otherwise functional and have a typically normal social life, gaming doesn't seem to be a deal breaker at all.

Obsessive gaming seems to put women off, but don't guys who are 24/7 gamers usually have other problems that are a huge turnoff? So is it the games, or the everything else?

I have lots of interests that 'real men' shouldn't have, gaming being one of them. I find the whole real man thing very strange.

Gamers always seem to get unfairly attacked. Sure f you are obsessed with them and playing them all the time then that's a problem, but surely that applies to all hobbies/interests?

It seems to be perfectly ok for a guy to be obsessed with sports or other 'manly' things, but more geeky obsessions are considered bad.

I know a lot of girls that like to play halo gears of war ect

More than once I've found the people who demean gamers and other hobbyists have a poor self image. I think people who insist on believing in the geek stereo type are just insecure, and projecting their bull s**t onto others.

ah i have to force my boyfriend to play video games with me.

I hate playing basketball games with girls they always like to brag about beating my ass
Its annoying but funny at the same time