Essential Love & Dating Advice (By and For WP Members)

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MackM
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 11 Oct 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 1

11 Oct 2019, 10:04 pm

Hey I dont know if anyone is gonna answer but on the off chance, I need help. I fell in love with a man on the autism spectrum and I just want to make it work because I really do love him its just he frustrates me so much and I feel so alone sometimes. I dont know how to communicate what I need anymore because i'm learning that his brain doesn't work like mine. He forgets so much and he lectures me all the time. He gets so much more focused on his stuff than whats going on with me. I feel like really hard stuff could be happening in my life and he wouldnt notice even if I mentioned it tons of times. it makes me feel so small and unimportant. im willing to compromise and I know i'm really ignorant I just dont know how to handle this at all. I know he doesnt do these things to hurt me and i know he loves me and it hurts him when i bring these things up because he cant help it and he says hes trying but how can u try at something like that? you cant force your brain to be something that its not, right? i dont want to hurt him by making him think hes not enough for me or i dont love him for him idk. feel free to be brutally honest with me if u feel the need i just really need answers please



Borromeo
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 1 Jun 2019
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Posts: 371

11 Oct 2019, 10:57 pm

Hey, take your time.

As a man I find it odious for a man to be lecturing a woman. It's unbecoming conduct. Some people, I'm sorry to say, use autism as an excuse for rudeness. Others never learned how to handle themselves in society.

I wish you blessings but don't rush things.



hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,808
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

12 Oct 2019, 12:45 am

Why do you want to be with someone who thinks it's ok to lecture constsntly you and who makes you feel small and unimportant? Do you want to be treated as an equal or as a child who needs lecturing?

Does their love leave you feeling good most of the time or just really good infrequently?

Why do you want to spend the rest of your life feeling small and insignificant because of the actions of one human?

What if you found someone who was supportive and who treated you as an equal and who respected your views?

This situation is not your fault.

It's usually only women who come on here looking for advice on how to get their jerk boyfriend to treat them with more kindness and respect.

But you can't change anyone.

Very rarely do we get posts from autistic males trying to find out how to communicate with their girlfriends and meet them half way and make them happy. Think about that.


_________________
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Borromeo
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 1 Jun 2019
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Posts: 371

12 Oct 2019, 3:02 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Why do you want to be with someone who thinks it's ok to lecture constsntly you and who makes you feel small and unimportant? Do you want to be treated as an equal or as a child who needs lecturing?

Does their love leave you feeling good most of the time or just really good infrequently?

Why do you want to spend the rest of your life feeling small and insignificant because of the actions of one human?

What if you found someone who was supportive and who treated you as an equal and who respected your views?

This situation is not your fault.

It's usually only women who come on here looking for advice on how to get their jerk boyfriend to treat them with more kindness and respect.

But you can't change anyone.

Very rarely do we get posts from autistic males trying to find out how to communicate with their girlfriends and meet them half way and make them happy. Think about that.



Thank you hurtloam--glad you're back. This post is why.