Essential Love & Dating Advice (By and For WP Members)

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ShyGirl7
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05 Feb 2019, 3:41 am

BayeuxTailor wrote:
Well I can't sleep, so I'll see how many questions I can answer in one go.

Having something to offer = being able to offer love, emotional support, dependability, understanding, and your own passions and interests to another person. I'm only focusing on the non material things.

I have found it is really quite hard to maintain a friendship with someone who has romantic feelings for you, as they may keep trying, or read too much into situations, or attempt to chip away at your self esteem gradually in the hope that you may cave into their desire for a relationship with you. I'm only speaking from my own personal experience though.

Flirting for an AS woman would depend on whether it was an NT man or an AS man she was flirting with. Your own desires are a factor also. If for example, you were interested in a man you knew already you might ask about his interests, compliment his abilities, casually touch his arm a couple of times as you talk, smile and laugh, and make eye contact. Also, keep your body language open (face him and dont cross your arms). However, some of these things are tricky with AS. I think it is important to feel beautiful and confident as a woman (its tricky sometimes I know), so perhaps make sure you wear clothes that make you feel confident. I think flirting with an AS man is probably more straight forward, as you are probably in a situation where you could just say "I am flirting with you". I hope this is of some use. Men are a confusing bunch, and I personally dont like overly flirtatious men. Oh, also, look for his reaction - is he smiling, laughing, complimenting you, or touching your arm? Does he look a little flushed, or nervous?


I tend to find that men that will touch your arm are more interested in sex.

If the man is clearly nervous and shy and doesn't touch you, then he respects your space and is likely in love with you.

Men tend to wear their emotions on their sleeves and are less confusing than women. :D

Don't over-think their reactions - men are more simple. :wink:



WildlifeGuy
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27 Mar 2019, 11:47 am

You really like someone, but they don't know it. How would you ask them in the most politest and respectful way if they want to go on a date with you?

I have never been in a real relationship, I'm 22, and I really need advice. I want to know how to feel confident so that I don't feel like I am going to screw it up.



Tim_Tex
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08 Apr 2019, 3:09 am

If a partner says she's saving herself for marriage (for religious reasons), and you end the relationship because of that, does that make you a creep or pervert?


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MaxShock
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12 Apr 2019, 7:00 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
If a partner says she's saving herself for marriage (for religious reasons), and you end the relationship because of that, does that make you a creep or pervert?


No, it just means that you want to have sex in the relationship and saving until marriage is a deal breaker. What WOULD be creepy is still being in that relationship and insisting/harassing her about it.



rhoades24
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14 Jun 2019, 2:00 am

This advice is pure nonsense.

Two things matter for any male to find success in dating: Looks, money and social status/social power.

Only .01% of men have this and that's why 99.8% of attractive women only go for the top .01%. All the same stale copies. End of story.



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14 Jun 2019, 9:58 am

rhoades24 wrote:
This advice is pure nonsense.

Two things matter for any male to find success in dating: Looks, money and social status/social power.

Only .01% of men have this and that's why 99.8% of attractive women only go for the top .01%. All the same stale copies. End of story.


That is pure nonsense.

-an actual female


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Mona Pereth
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15 Jun 2019, 7:10 pm

rhoades24 wrote:
This advice is pure nonsense.

Two things matter for any male to find success in dating: Looks, money and social status/social power.

Only .01% of men have this and that's why 99.8% of attractive women only go for the top .01%. All the same stale copies. End of story.

That is pure nonsense (except perhaps on dating apps?). Obviously more than 0.01% of men do manage to get married, and there are plenty of other men who manage to get dates and sex without necessarily getting married. Regarding marriage rates in the U.S.A. see these census statistics.

When you speak of "99.8% of attractive women," what percentage of women do you consider to be "attractive," in the first place? If you are interested only in the 0.01% most attractive women, THAT could be a problem....


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rhoades24
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15 Jun 2019, 8:38 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:

That is pure nonsense (except perhaps on dating apps?). Obviously more than 0.01% of men do manage to get married, and there are plenty of other men who manage to get dates and sex without necessarily getting married. Regarding marriage rates in the U.S.A. see these census statistics.

When you speak of "99.8% of attractive women," what percentage of women do you consider to be "attractive," in the first place? If you are interested only in the 0.01% most attractive women, THAT could be a problem....


5-10% of women depending on area. My numbers are arbitrary. Rather I just speak of the super high probability that the average to ugly male will ultimately fail to get a single date or instance of sex.



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16 Jun 2019, 6:29 am

rhoades24 wrote:
Mona Pereth wrote:

That is pure nonsense (except perhaps on dating apps?). Obviously more than 0.01% of men do manage to get married, and there are plenty of other men who manage to get dates and sex without necessarily getting married. Regarding marriage rates in the U.S.A. see these census statistics.

When you speak of "99.8% of attractive women," what percentage of women do you consider to be "attractive," in the first place? If you are interested only in the 0.01% most attractive women, THAT could be a problem....


5-10% of women depending on area. My numbers are arbitrary. Rather I just speak of the super high probability that the average to ugly male will ultimately fail to get a single date or instance of sex.



Why are you ignoring personality and character? My boyfriends were always chosen for their good nature, humour and intelligence, never on looks or social status.

As a teacher of adults with many years experience, the nice guys, whether short, ugly (if there is such a thing, who determines what beauty is anyway) or even disabled always manage to find a nice girl, even beautiful girls.

People get married and build their lives and fortunes together based on common values. A woman who only wants good looks, money and status is a bimbo anyway and would not make you happy. Humour and being kind will do it every time. Men need to learn to listen and understand women. Men who learn how to give women validation and attention despite their different way of thinking can captivate women. A woman recognises a man who truly loves women.

Those of us who are not conventionally attractive need to work more on our personalities, men and women both. The basis for a good marriage must be more substantial than superficial, material things.

Is it that communication is perhaps the biggest hurdle for those on the spectrum so having money or good looks evens up the odds where social skills fail? How long would that quality of connection last in a crisis such as chronic illness or worse?


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rhoades24
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16 Jun 2019, 1:00 pm

Teach51 wrote:

Why are you ignoring personality and character? My boyfriends were always chosen for their good nature, humour and intelligence, never on looks or social status.

As a teacher of adults with many years experience, the nice guys, whether short, ugly (if there is such a thing, who determines what beauty is anyway) or even disabled always manage to find a nice girl, even beautiful girls.

People get married and build their lives and fortunes together based on common values. A woman who only wants good looks, money and status is a bimbo anyway and would not make you happy. Humour and being kind will do it every time. Men need to learn to listen and understand women. Men who learn how to give women validation and attention despite their different way of thinking can captivate women. A woman recognises a man who truly loves women.

Those of us who are not conventionally attractive need to work more on our personalities, men and women both. The basis for a good marriage must be more substantial than superficial, material things.

Is it that communication is perhaps the biggest hurdle for those on the spectrum so having money or good looks evens up the odds where social skills fail? How long would that quality of connection last in a crisis such as chronic illness or worse?


Look, not going to try and generalize here about "all women" so I avoid being called out a sexist, but I have yet to meet an attractive woman who "seemed" to appreciate my personality or character. None period! You speak of a world I don't know
exists nor have experienced.

If those disabled people found love then again never seen or experienced this. I can't relate nor understand as I've never experienced or seen any of this.

Yes, probably good looks and money evens it out, which I'm attempting to do. Any means necessary; steroids, plastic surgery on face and body, and working in investment/finance with the degree I will get very soon. Money and looks are probably the only thing that will save me from indefinite rejection, ostracization and constant isolation in a prison apartment for decades.

My personality will never be accepted by women I find attractive. Because none seem to have accepted it. Me as authentic self, so when you say "need to work on personality" what you seem to be saying is I need to make up things about myself and lie about my personality by expressing myself in fake ways like an actor does for movie. Wow! Really good advice!



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16 Jun 2019, 1:11 pm

rhoades24 wrote:
Teach51 wrote:

Why are you ignoring personality and character? My boyfriends were always chosen for their good nature, humour and intelligence, never on looks or social status.

As a teacher of adults with many years experience, the nice guys, whether short, ugly (if there is such a thing, who determines what beauty is anyway) or even disabled always manage to find a nice girl, even beautiful girls.

People get married and build their lives and fortunes together based on common values. A woman who only wants good looks, money and status is a bimbo anyway and would not make you happy. Humour and being kind will do it every time. Men need to learn to listen and understand women. Men who learn how to give women validation and attention despite their different way of thinking can captivate women. A woman recognises a man who truly loves women.

Those of us who are not conventionally attractive need to work more on our personalities, men and women both. The basis for a good marriage must be more substantial than superficial, material things.

Is it that communication is perhaps the biggest hurdle for those on the spectrum so having money or good looks evens up the odds where social skills fail? How long would that quality of connection last in a crisis such as chronic illness or worse?


Look, not going to try and generalize here about "all women" so I avoid being called out a sexist, but I have yet to meet an attractive woman who "seemed" to appreciate my personality or character. None period! You speak of a world I don't know
exists nor have experienced.

If those disabled people found love then again never seen or experienced this. I can't relate nor understand as I've never experienced or seen any of this.

Yes, probably good looks and money evens it out, which I'm attempting to do. Any means necessary; steroids, plastic surgery on face and body, and working in investment/finance with the degree I will get very soon. Money and looks are probably the only thing that will save me from indefinite rejection, ostracization and constant isolation in a prison apartment for decades.

My personality will never be accepted by women I find attractive. Because none seem to have accepted it. Me as authentic self, so when you say "need to work on personality" what you seem to be saying is I need to make up things about myself and lie about my personality by expressing myself in fake ways like an actor does for movie. Wow! Really good advice!


I don’t think she’s advocating that you make stuff up and lie but, instead, that you accentuate your positives. During an initial date, no one’s going to want to hear a date complain endlessly about personal problems, talk only about him or herself, and fail to exemplify polite and attentive behavior.

If you have some character flaws, it’s always a good idea to work on them. That’s not going to make you any less you. It could make a You 2.0.


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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 16 Jun 2019, 1:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

rhoades24
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16 Jun 2019, 1:13 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

I don’t think she’s advocating that you make stuff up and lie but, instead, that you accentuate your positives. During an initial date, no one’s going to want to hear a date complain endlessly about personal problems, talk only about him or herself, and fail to exemplify polite and attentive behavior.


Never done this before with any women. I appreciate your very false assumption to try and help me not be a bad person.



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16 Jun 2019, 1:16 pm

rhoades24 wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:

I don’t think she’s advocating that you make stuff up and lie but, instead, that you accentuate your positives. During an initial date, no one’s going to want to hear a date complain endlessly about personal problems, talk only about him or herself, and fail to exemplify polite and attentive behavior.


Never done this before with any women. I appreciate your very false assumption to try and help me not be a bad person.


Your welcome!

And here I was worried that you might have bad manners...


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rhoades24
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16 Jun 2019, 1:20 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

Your welcome!

And here I was worried that you might have bad manners...


Haha, aren't you something sweet and obnoxious.



rhoades24
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16 Jun 2019, 1:21 pm

Bad manners! I guess I do get them if someone really wants me to get them.



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16 Jun 2019, 1:23 pm

rhoades24 wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:

Your welcome!

And here I was worried that you might have bad manners...


Haha, aren't you something sweet and obnoxious.


Polite AND an excellent judge of character! A real ladies’ man...


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