I don't hardly know her but I think I could lover her.

Page 1 of 2 [ 29 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

number2
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 288

19 Sep 2011, 8:12 pm

Well I have been madly in love with a girl for over 3 years and she f*****g hates me,
My story is about 3 years+ ago I came to my ex buddy house and we were going to smoke a blunt and eat some psychedelic mushrooms and for some reason I was dressed very nicely had American Eagle clothing on I was totally not expecting this but there was an amazingly beautiful girl at least in my opinion actually that is an understatement because she was just 1000000 percent adorable and she looked like she was a badass girl so I asked her if she wanted to smoke with me and my buddy she said no so I left her all alone watching TV and I feel so bad that I left her there like I would go back in time just to watch TV with her to keep her company.
Anyways I go smoke and eat a couple of mushrooms remember feeling paranoid and hungry then I go back to the room she was in I don't pay much attention to her because I'm too busy tripping out on the computer.
Then police come spoil my high making me really paranoid nothing happened to me but they took the girl home because she had runaway from home.

So she added me on msn 2 months later and we talked and this is the sensitive part she told me good things about my self that I never thought were true such as I was "perfectly smart" and I remember saying "Well not perfectly" and she said something that made me feel good but she said some things that stuck to my head such as "I have wild dreams about you" "I cant stop thinking of you" and literally to this day I can't stop thinking about this girl. So we talk for days on msn and she asks me out to a dance I accept and this is were it goes all downhill I make a totally ass out of my self because before I left to go see her I drank all the booze I can get my hands on so I show up drunk and try to act sober and ended up making her feel very uncomfortable because I refused to take off my sunglasses because I dint want her to see my eyes I keep yelling like a maniac on the dance floor. So I think when she had enough of my drunken stupor I bet she thought I was crazy she left me saying she had to go to bathroom never see her again that night but she saw me going out for a cigarette before I left the dance.

I found out she was in the bathroom crying and I dint believe her because she told me first she felt sick before she told me so. I get pissed off thinking she was making fun of me
so I started cussing her off we didn't talk to for days until one day we started talking on Facebook and I get confused about something so I go on a local form and post our convo
she finds out about it logs in and starts cussing me the hell off.

http://forums.filefront.com/spam-forum/ ... convo.html

After this she tired too block all contact with me but I kept finding ways to talk to her.

So not untill last year in the begging of summer she messaged me back telling me she wanted to talk to me and told me she has a boyfriend so I come to her school meet her very berifly and leave
Then I get into a fight with her because I'm kinda jealous and untill last year she refuses to talk to me and I really talk to her again.

Should I tell her im talking about her again?
Should I ever expect to hear from her again?
Could I expected a realtionship or I compleltly screwed my self over?

If I could say something to her I would tell her I'm sorry I was mean monstrous and I truly wish I could take a lot things I did and said all back and would like one final chance into having a beautiful relationship.
I tried falling in love with another girl but I couldn't because of her.



MakaylaTheAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2011
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 14,853
Location: O'er the land of the so-called free and the home of the self-proclaimed brave. (Oregon)

19 Sep 2011, 8:26 pm

You should have posted this in Love and Dating. Not Random Discussion.

I don't have any advice, being only 15. :lol:


_________________
When in doubt, ask someone with ASD. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know. :roll:


number2
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 288

19 Sep 2011, 8:29 pm

MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
You should have posted this in Love and Dating. Not Random Discussion.

I don't have any advice, being only 15. :lol:


I also forgot to mention we started talking around when she was 15 and now is 18
and it was around her birthday



anneurysm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,243
Location: Ontario, Canada

19 Sep 2011, 9:02 pm

What MakalatheAspie said. This is a post for the "love and dating" section.
Maybe the mods should move it.
Looking through your posts on that forum now, just to see exactly what is going on. Will let you know what I think after I'm done.


_________________
I am an anomaly. Diagnosed with borderline,"tentative" Aspergers at 7 as the school board required me to have a label in order to receive special education services. I did not fit criteria for ASD but that was the closest label that fit my behaviour at the time.

My longtime psychiatrist has confirmed that I do not qualify for an ASD diagnosis (but have traits & OCD-like traits).

Mostly keeping a distance from ASD-related things (including WP).


number2
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 288

19 Sep 2011, 9:05 pm

anneurysm wrote:
What MakalatheAspie said. This is a post for the "love and dating" section.
Maybe the mods should move it.
Looking through your posts on that forum now, just to see exactly what is going on. Will let you know what I think after I'm done.


Look for "Videoslave" Thats me and she is emiepidemic



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 103,418
Location: Hanging out with my fellow Sweet Peas at Stalag 13

19 Sep 2011, 9:28 pm

I also agree that this should be in Love and Dating.


_________________
Schultz

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=26&start=645


number2
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 288

19 Sep 2011, 9:34 pm

Well this thread is going to get moved but in the mean time can we talk more in depth about the subject.



LostUndergrad9090
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jun 2011
Age: 178
Gender: Female
Posts: 892

19 Sep 2011, 9:39 pm

Thats kinda of happen to me but mine ended on something dont really even know. but I have talked to her again and have tried talking to her again. It didn't work out, which sucks. I still remember all the good times and stuff but nothing.

Maybe ten years from now she will have changed some more and will have a change of heart of how she feels about you.



number2
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 288

19 Sep 2011, 9:49 pm

LostUndergrad9090 wrote:
Thats kinda of happen to me but mine ended on something dont really even know. but I have talked to her again and have tried talking to her again. It didn't work out, which sucks. I still remember all the good times and stuff but nothing.

Maybe ten years from now she will have changed some more and will have a change of heart of how she feels about you.


I hope it goes well for you man I really do.

As for me I really wish she starts to accept me back in to her life were we can work something out.



anneurysm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,243
Location: Ontario, Canada

19 Sep 2011, 10:18 pm

I will start by saying that more than anything, I understand what you are going through. It is very common in the ASD population to be fixated on other people. I have been fixated on other people since the age of 7, so I have plenty of experience with dealing with it. I have also learned appropriate ways to deal with such obsessions so that the person involved is not weirded out.

First: If I were you, I would not have brought it up on that forum altogether. It seems to be about casual joking around over game related issues. It is NOT a support site or a place to bring up emotional and personal issues, because if you do, you will instantly become a target. People on there will not be supportive and they will only make fun of you, as they did there. Sigh, if only you knew about Wrong Planet before this situation happened. If you discuss things like this here, we will not automatically judge you or point out your flaws like they did. We are an incredibly accepting community.

Second, throughout the conversations you have posted, you are being incredibly pushy towards her, and because of this she is very clearly uncomfortable talking to you. She is responding in a way that is polite as she does not want to hurt your feelings and say outright "Leave me alone!", and I can see her increasingly becoming frustrated every time you try to desparately put things right. Her shortened and vague answers show a lack of interest in you, and she is frustrated because you aren't taking these as a sign to leave her alone.

You made an ass of yourself at the dance, and you apologised, which was the right thing to do. The wrong thing to do was trying to pursue her still after you screwed things up. This makes her feel uncomfortable and now she does not want to be around you. On the forums, she even voices her discomfort with you repeatedly trying to contact her several times . I know it is tempting to see if you will have a second chance, but if you screw things up like that, it is not wise to contact her ever again. Especially when you do things like this:

"the reason I'm really not interested in him all started at the dance, where, he touched my butt, looked down my friends and my own dress, kept asking me to go outside alone with him and wore sunglasses inside the whole night...He's being a flat out stalker and all I want is to be left Alone." - her

You were being inappropriate with her and her other friends at the dance...and drunkeness doesn't excuse it. Keep in mind that they weren't that drunk, and remember more than you do.

You also need to stay away from alcohol and drugs while dealing with tough situations like this. I cannot stress this enough. I know they can act as a temporary source of relief, but in the end, they will only make you look like a jerk in front of the very people you are trying to impress.

Trust me, I have learned this the hard way by being in the rave scene. I have even been assaulted because I repeatedly went to parties drunk, and have done some embarrassing stuff. I have been sexually inappropriate with a guy I was obsessed with while high on a certian drug, but luckily, I read the body language and behaviour when I saw him the next time to leave him alone, so I did, and have had no further issues with him. The issue for you is that it is harder for you to read these signs to back off, and it has made this girl want to avoid you.

So to be honest, no...you should not have any further contact with her again, nor should you expect to hear from her again. I know it's hard too, as I have been there so many times, but you must restrain yourself. Write some poetry about her. Sing songs that remind you of her...anything to get it out, but do not contact her.

You made a mistake, yes, but you shouldn't dwell over it either. See it as a learning experience. Now that the social contaxt of this situation has been laid out, the best thing you can do now is to avoid making these mistakes in the future when the next girl comes along. When she does, please come here and post before you make any moves, as you may need a little assistance on how to show interest in a girl appropriately. Don't be discouraged...we are on the spectrum, and part of this is learning from our social mistakes.

As for:
"Could I expected a realtionship or I compleltly screwed my self over?"

I have no idea what you are even asking here...please rephrase.


_________________
I am an anomaly. Diagnosed with borderline,"tentative" Aspergers at 7 as the school board required me to have a label in order to receive special education services. I did not fit criteria for ASD but that was the closest label that fit my behaviour at the time.

My longtime psychiatrist has confirmed that I do not qualify for an ASD diagnosis (but have traits & OCD-like traits).

Mostly keeping a distance from ASD-related things (including WP).


Last edited by anneurysm on 19 Sep 2011, 10:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

number2
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 288

19 Sep 2011, 10:30 pm

anneurysm wrote:
I will start by saying that more than anything, I understand what you are going through. It is very common in the ASD population to be fixated on other people. I have been fixated on other people since the age of 7, so I have plenty of experience with dealing with it. I have also learned appropriate ways to deal with such obsessions so that the person involved is not weirded out.

First: If I were you, I would not have brought it up on that forum altogether. It seems to be about casual joking around over game related issues. It is NOT a support site or a place to bring up emotional and personal issues, because if you do, you will instantly become a target. People on there will not be supportive and they will only make fun of you, as they did there. Sigh, if only you knew about Wrong Planet before this situation happened. If you discuss things like this here, we will not automatically judge you or point out your flaws like they did. We are an incredibly accepting community.

Second, throughout the conversations you have posted, you are being incredibly pushy towards her, and because of this she is very clearly uncomfortable talking to you. She is responding in a way that is polite as she does not want to hurt your feelings and say outright "Leave me alone!", and I can see her increasingly becoming frustrated every time you try to desparately put things right. Her shortened and vague answers show a lack of interest in you, and she is frustrated because you aren't taking these as a sign to leave her alone.

You made an ass of yourself at the dance, and you apologised, which was the right thing to do. The wrong thing to do was trying to pursue her still after you screwed things up. This makes her feel uncomfortable and now she does not want to be around you. On the forums, she even voices her discomfort with you repeatedly trying to contact her several times . I know it is tempting to see if you will have a second chance, but if you screw things up like that, it is not wise to contact her ever again. Especially when you do things like this:

"the reason I'm really not interested in him all started at the dance, where, he touched my butt, looked down my friends and my own dress, kept asking me to go outside alone with him and wore sunglasses inside the whole night...He's being a flat out stalker and all I want is to be left Alone." - her

You were being inappropriate with her and her other friends at the dance...and drunkeness doesn't excuse it. Keep in mind that they weren't that drunk, and remember more than you do.

You also need to stay away from alcohol and drugs while dealing with tough situations like this. I cannot stress this enough. I know they can act as a temporary source of relief, but in the end, they will only make you look like a jerk in front of the very people you are trying to impress.

Trust me, I have learned this the hard way by being in the rave scene. I have even been assaulted because I repeatedly went to parties drunk, and have done some embarrassing stuff. I have been sexually inappropriate with a guy I was obsessed with while high on a certian drug, but luckily, I read the body language and behaviour when I saw him the next time to leave him alone, so I did, and have had no further issues with him. The issue for you is that it is harder for you to read these signs to back off, and it has made this girl want to avoid you.

So to be honest, no...you should not have any further contact with her again, nor should you expect to hear from her again. I know it's hard to as I ahve been there so many times, but you must restrain yourself. Write some poetry about her. Sing songs that remind you of her...anything to get it out, but do not contact her.

You made a mistake, yes, but you shouldn't dwell over it either. See it as a learning experience. Now that things are laid out to, the best thing you can do now is to avoid making these mistakes in the future when the next girl comes along. When she does, come here before you make any moves, as you may need a little assistance on how to show interest in a girl appropriately. Don't be discouraged...we are on the spectrum, and part of this is learning from our social mistakes.

As for:
"Could I expected a realtionship or I compleltly screwed my self over?"

I have no idea what you are even asking here...please rephrase.


Well I'm pretty much screwed in this situation from what you are telling me.
I sent her an email any way hoping she might respond okay to what I have to say.
Also I think she dosent know I have AS she thought I was schizophrenic because I used to talk to her while under the influence a lot and I kept getting paranoid that she was hacking my facebook.

I'm also thinking of doing more drugs then I already am doing becuase I just can't deal with reality but I'll never try crack or meth those things are nasty.



Last edited by number2 on 19 Sep 2011, 10:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 103,418
Location: Hanging out with my fellow Sweet Peas at Stalag 13

19 Sep 2011, 10:30 pm

I don't want to read stuff like this in Random Discussion.


_________________
Schultz

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=26&start=645


gailryder17
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Apr 2011
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,042
Location: Los Angeles

19 Sep 2011, 10:35 pm

When I read the topic name I immediately thought of the song "Crimson and Clover"

"I don't hardly know her
but I think I could love her
Crimson and Clover
over and over...."


_________________
Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice


anneurysm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,243
Location: Ontario, Canada

19 Sep 2011, 10:35 pm

number2 wrote:
anneurysm wrote:
I will start by saying that more than anything, I understand what you are going through. It is very common in the ASD population to be fixated on other people. I have been fixated on other people since the age of 7, so I have plenty of experience with dealing with it. I have also learned appropriate ways to deal with such obsessions so that the person involved is not weirded out.

First: If I were you, I would not have brought it up on that forum altogether. It seems to be about casual joking around over game related issues. It is NOT a support site or a place to bring up emotional and personal issues, because if you do, you will instantly become a target. People on there will not be supportive and they will only make fun of you, as they did there. Sigh, if only you knew about Wrong Planet before this situation happened. If you discuss things like this here, we will not automatically judge you or point out your flaws like they did. We are an incredibly accepting community.

Second, throughout the conversations you have posted, you are being incredibly pushy towards her, and because of this she is very clearly uncomfortable talking to you. She is responding in a way that is polite as she does not want to hurt your feelings and say outright "Leave me alone!", and I can see her increasingly becoming frustrated every time you try to desparately put things right. Her shortened and vague answers show a lack of interest in you, and she is frustrated because you aren't taking these as a sign to leave her alone.

You made an ass of yourself at the dance, and you apologised, which was the right thing to do. The wrong thing to do was trying to pursue her still after you screwed things up. This makes her feel uncomfortable and now she does not want to be around you. On the forums, she even voices her discomfort with you repeatedly trying to contact her several times . I know it is tempting to see if you will have a second chance, but if you screw things up like that, it is not wise to contact her ever again. Especially when you do things like this:

"the reason I'm really not interested in him all started at the dance, where, he touched my butt, looked down my friends and my own dress, kept asking me to go outside alone with him and wore sunglasses inside the whole night...He's being a flat out stalker and all I want is to be left Alone." - her

You were being inappropriate with her and her other friends at the dance...and drunkeness doesn't excuse it. Keep in mind that they weren't that drunk, and remember more than you do.

You also need to stay away from alcohol and drugs while dealing with tough situations like this. I cannot stress this enough. I know they can act as a temporary source of relief, but in the end, they will only make you look like a jerk in front of the very people you are trying to impress.

Trust me, I have learned this the hard way by being in the rave scene. I have even been assaulted because I repeatedly went to parties drunk, and have done some embarrassing stuff. I have been sexually inappropriate with a guy I was obsessed with while high on a certian drug, but luckily, I read the body language and behaviour when I saw him the next time to leave him alone, so I did, and have had no further issues with him. The issue for you is that it is harder for you to read these signs to back off, and it has made this girl want to avoid you.

So to be honest, no...you should not have any further contact with her again, nor should you expect to hear from her again. I know it's hard to as I ahve been there so many times, but you must restrain yourself. Write some poetry about her. Sing songs that remind you of her...anything to get it out, but do not contact her.

You made a mistake, yes, but you shouldn't dwell over it either. See it as a learning experience. Now that things are laid out to, the best thing you can do now is to avoid making these mistakes in the future when the next girl comes along. When she does, come here before you make any moves, as you may need a little assistance on how to show interest in a girl appropriately. Don't be discouraged...we are on the spectrum, and part of this is learning from our social mistakes.

As for:
"Could I expected a realtionship or I compleltly screwed my self over?"

I have no idea what you are even asking here...please rephrase.


Well I'm pretty much screwed in this situation from what you are telling me.
I sent her an email any way hoping she might respond okay to what I have to say.
Also I think she dosent know I have AS she thought I was schizophrenic because I used to talk to her while under the influence a lot and I kept getting paranoid that she was hacking my facebook.


This is why you shouldn't have talked to her...or anyone you are concered about impressing...under the influence. You are only going to embarass yourself more and scare people away.

I know already, judgeing from the situation, that she is not going to respond. Please, take my advice and avoid further contact with her. I know it's hard, but at least TRY to stop contacting her. When she pops up in your head, try to distract youself. Play a game. Watch TV. Do anything but contact her.

You are NOT a screw up. This is one situation, and it is a situation that you can learn from and try not to repeat.


_________________
I am an anomaly. Diagnosed with borderline,"tentative" Aspergers at 7 as the school board required me to have a label in order to receive special education services. I did not fit criteria for ASD but that was the closest label that fit my behaviour at the time.

My longtime psychiatrist has confirmed that I do not qualify for an ASD diagnosis (but have traits & OCD-like traits).

Mostly keeping a distance from ASD-related things (including WP).


Last edited by anneurysm on 19 Sep 2011, 10:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

anneurysm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,243
Location: Ontario, Canada

19 Sep 2011, 10:36 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I don't want to read stuff like this in Random Discussion.


I agree. I am going to PM a mod and move this.


_________________
I am an anomaly. Diagnosed with borderline,"tentative" Aspergers at 7 as the school board required me to have a label in order to receive special education services. I did not fit criteria for ASD but that was the closest label that fit my behaviour at the time.

My longtime psychiatrist has confirmed that I do not qualify for an ASD diagnosis (but have traits & OCD-like traits).

Mostly keeping a distance from ASD-related things (including WP).