I don't hardly know her but I think I could lover her.

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number2
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19 Sep 2011, 10:37 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I don't want to read stuff like this in Random Discussion.


Mate I don't know what to tell you. It was a mistake I'm new to this forum



number2
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19 Sep 2011, 10:44 pm

anneurysm wrote:
number2 wrote:
anneurysm wrote:
I will start by saying that more than anything, I understand what you are going through. It is very common in the ASD population to be fixated on other people. I have been fixated on other people since the age of 7, so I have plenty of experience with dealing with it. I have also learned appropriate ways to deal with such obsessions so that the person involved is not weirded out.

First: If I were you, I would not have brought it up on that forum altogether. It seems to be about casual joking around over game related issues. It is NOT a support site or a place to bring up emotional and personal issues, because if you do, you will instantly become a target. People on there will not be supportive and they will only make fun of you, as they did there. Sigh, if only you knew about Wrong Planet before this situation happened. If you discuss things like this here, we will not automatically judge you or point out your flaws like they did. We are an incredibly accepting community.

Second, throughout the conversations you have posted, you are being incredibly pushy towards her, and because of this she is very clearly uncomfortable talking to you. She is responding in a way that is polite as she does not want to hurt your feelings and say outright "Leave me alone!", and I can see her increasingly becoming frustrated every time you try to desparately put things right. Her shortened and vague answers show a lack of interest in you, and she is frustrated because you aren't taking these as a sign to leave her alone.

You made an ass of yourself at the dance, and you apologised, which was the right thing to do. The wrong thing to do was trying to pursue her still after you screwed things up. This makes her feel uncomfortable and now she does not want to be around you. On the forums, she even voices her discomfort with you repeatedly trying to contact her several times . I know it is tempting to see if you will have a second chance, but if you screw things up like that, it is not wise to contact her ever again. Especially when you do things like this:

"the reason I'm really not interested in him all started at the dance, where, he touched my butt, looked down my friends and my own dress, kept asking me to go outside alone with him and wore sunglasses inside the whole night...He's being a flat out stalker and all I want is to be left Alone." - her

You were being inappropriate with her and her other friends at the dance...and drunkeness doesn't excuse it. Keep in mind that they weren't that drunk, and remember more than you do.

You also need to stay away from alcohol and drugs while dealing with tough situations like this. I cannot stress this enough. I know they can act as a temporary source of relief, but in the end, they will only make you look like a jerk in front of the very people you are trying to impress.

Trust me, I have learned this the hard way by being in the rave scene. I have even been assaulted because I repeatedly went to parties drunk, and have done some embarrassing stuff. I have been sexually inappropriate with a guy I was obsessed with while high on a certian drug, but luckily, I read the body language and behaviour when I saw him the next time to leave him alone, so I did, and have had no further issues with him. The issue for you is that it is harder for you to read these signs to back off, and it has made this girl want to avoid you.

So to be honest, no...you should not have any further contact with her again, nor should you expect to hear from her again. I know it's hard to as I ahve been there so many times, but you must restrain yourself. Write some poetry about her. Sing songs that remind you of her...anything to get it out, but do not contact her.

You made a mistake, yes, but you shouldn't dwell over it either. See it as a learning experience. Now that things are laid out to, the best thing you can do now is to avoid making these mistakes in the future when the next girl comes along. When she does, come here before you make any moves, as you may need a little assistance on how to show interest in a girl appropriately. Don't be discouraged...we are on the spectrum, and part of this is learning from our social mistakes.

As for:
"Could I expected a realtionship or I compleltly screwed my self over?"

I have no idea what you are even asking here...please rephrase.


Well I'm pretty much screwed in this situation from what you are telling me.
I sent her an email any way hoping she might respond okay to what I have to say.
Also I think she dosent know I have AS she thought I was schizophrenic because I used to talk to her while under the influence a lot and I kept getting paranoid that she was hacking my facebook.


This is why you shouldn't have talked to her...or anyone you are concered about impressing...under the influence. You are only going to embarass yourself more and scare people away.

I know already, judgeing from the situation, that she is not going to respond. Please, take my advice and avoid further contact with her. I know it's hard, but at least TRY to stop contacting her. When she pops up in your head, try to distract youself. Play a game. Watch TV. Do anything but contact her.

You are NOT a screw up. This is one situation, and it is a situation that you can learn from and try not to repeat.

It was mostly tons of booze that f****d me over now if I were smoking joints more I probally would still be talking to her.
I have to quote bob marley on this "Alcohol is the destruction of the world while the herb is the healing of the world" its so ture not that I would never drink again I would but in moderation and weed I'd just smoke everyday if I could =)



MakaylaTheAspie
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20 Sep 2011, 12:02 am

You could have at least looked around for a more appropriate forum.


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number2
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20 Sep 2011, 12:26 am

MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
You could have at least looked around for a more appropriate forum.


Okay I was a bit high when I made this thread will people stop bugging me about the placement of this thread thanks.



Obres
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20 Sep 2011, 12:31 am

My advice is that you should quit being a useless sack and get a job or go to school or something



number2
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20 Sep 2011, 12:37 am

Obres wrote:
My advice is that you should quit being a useless sack and get a job or go to school or something


now this kinda pisses me off because I'm already looking for a job I've been to a few interviews today so quit stereotyping. =/



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20 Sep 2011, 2:12 am

number2 wrote:
MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
You could have at least looked around for a more appropriate forum.


Okay I was a bit high when I made this thread will people stop bugging me about the placement of this thread thanks.


Even if you were, this is not a good thing to openly admit. People who say things like this can be quickly labelled as slackers and druggies...and the people on the other forum you went to teased you quite *a lot* about that.

I know you are trying to be a good person and trying to make leave a good impression on people. If you want to do so, it would probably be a good thing to stop making comments all the time about your drug use. It doesn't impress anyone, and people are quick to make stereotypes (like the guy above just did) about people who talk like this. And you are NOT a stereotype.

I am not trying to be mean, but I know what you really want for yourself, and I am just looking out for you. :)


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My longtime psychiatrist has confirmed that I do not qualify for an ASD diagnosis (but have traits & OCD-like traits).

Mostly keeping a distance from ASD-related things (including WP).


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20 Sep 2011, 6:57 am

Anneurysm has excellent advice. I hope you follow it, no. 2 for your sake. Too much of anything isn't good for anyone, including weed. I understand your need to escape but you need to use more constructive things (like special interests, hobbies, things you're passionate about, whatever that might be) to do that with besides just weed, weed and weed... or other drugs.


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Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 35 of 200
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number2
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20 Sep 2011, 12:09 pm

I have other interests such as paintballing I like doing that alot. I'm also very interested about computers I know quite a bit about hardware and performace issues not to brag or anything but I built my first computer when this situation with this girl was happening and I was so depressed at the time.



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20 Sep 2011, 12:54 pm

That's really impressive! :) You should perhaps shift your focus to talking about and focusing on these things more often...it's just that I don't want people to judge you to be something you are not.

I have no doubt that you are a great person to get to know with a lot of very impressive skills (I mean wow, not everyone can build computers!), but when you talk about drugs at every opportunity, people will just see you as a low-life, which I know you're not, but people jump to conclusions pretty quickly about others based on stuff like this. Sadly, the girl you like also arrived at this conclusion.

People react strongly to issues like using pot. I find the more someone talks about controversial stuff like that (with the exception of in like-minded people and communities), it is more likely that other people will jump to conclusions that are untrue about them because they get so emotionally wound up about it.


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I am an anomaly. Diagnosed with borderline,"tentative" Aspergers at 7 as the school board required me to have a label in order to receive special education services. I did not fit criteria for ASD but that was the closest label that fit my behaviour at the time.

My longtime psychiatrist has confirmed that I do not qualify for an ASD diagnosis (but have traits & OCD-like traits).

Mostly keeping a distance from ASD-related things (including WP).


bigcoop
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20 Sep 2011, 1:30 pm

Give her some space and be patient, I have made myself to be an ass a few times. Give it a couple of months and then contact her saying you were going through a rough spell and you've really taken some steps to better yourself. Tell her you were thinking about her the other day and felt badly about making someone so dear to you feel bad. The "I am a changed man" approach works pretty well. In the mean time I would read a couple of books maybe like deepak chopra or something to gather yourself. When I've given girls their space, they have even come out to apologize to me even when i was clearly in the wrong. Good Luck my friend.



number2
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20 Sep 2011, 4:56 pm

anneurysm wrote:
That's really impressive! :) You should perhaps shift your focus to talking about and focusing on these things more often...it's just that I don't want people to judge you to be something you are not.

I have no doubt that you are a great person to get to know with a lot of very impressive skills (I mean wow, not everyone can build computers!), but when you talk about drugs at every opportunity, people will just see you as a low-life, which I know you're not, but people jump to conclusions pretty quickly about others based on stuff like this. Sadly, the girl you like also arrived at this conclusion.

People react strongly to issues like using pot. I find the more someone talks about controversial stuff like that (with the exception of in like-minded people and communities), it is more likely that other people will jump to conclusions that are untrue about them because they get so emotionally wound up about it.


Well I'm kinda a n00b at paint balling but I do like it and would like to get better mabey one day me and you could go if your in to that?
Also about computers I know every single part about the inside of desktop I'll name a few so ppl don't think I'm full of BS in a computer you have a cpu (central processing unit), gpu (graphics card) ram (memory), motherboard, psu (power supply) hard drives for storage, heatsinks and fans so the computer stays cool and last but not least you have the case if i missed anything please let me know. =)



anneurysm
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21 Sep 2011, 12:06 am

number2, It doesn't matter what knowledge you have already. You are still young, and you could always learn more.

I know that computer stuff is *highly* in demand in terms of jobs. Maybe you should go to college for a comupter tech job...there's no doubt you'd be good at it. :)


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I am an anomaly. Diagnosed with borderline,"tentative" Aspergers at 7 as the school board required me to have a label in order to receive special education services. I did not fit criteria for ASD but that was the closest label that fit my behaviour at the time.

My longtime psychiatrist has confirmed that I do not qualify for an ASD diagnosis (but have traits & OCD-like traits).

Mostly keeping a distance from ASD-related things (including WP).


number2
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21 Sep 2011, 7:32 pm

anneurysm wrote:
number2, It doesn't matter what knowledge you have already. You are still young, and you could always learn more.

I know that computer stuff is *highly* in demand in terms of jobs. Maybe you should go to college for a comupter tech job...there's no doubt you'd be good at it. :)


I guess I can be.

anyways about the girls I want to let you guys know I'm not obsessing on this girl too much becuase I found a new girl to talk to that looks similiar well atleast in style I have sent her a few messages but she hasn't responded to me yet. and I know her from a group home that I went too about 2 years ago.