Afraid of people and afraid of being alone

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Tuttle
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20 Sep 2011, 3:36 pm

Am I the only one like this? Where I'm both afraid of people and afraid of being alone. Even something like walking to the store alone I'm uncomfortable with, no matter how much I know I can do those things. Yet at the same time I find people (even more than social situations) scary.



DonDud
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20 Sep 2011, 3:40 pm

I'm not afraid of being alone in the sense that I feel scared, but I do feel sad about being alone. I like people that I have something in common with, and I desire that social connection. On the other hand, I actively assume that every other person is someone I can't relate to, and fear a social interaction. If I hear someone down the hall, I'll wait until the hall is empty to go. It's silly and irrational, yet I find myself doing it often.



Tuttle
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20 Sep 2011, 3:54 pm

What I'm meaning is actually fear of being alone physically, rather than just desiring social connection. Of course even having a cat there actually makes me feel far less alone. It's somewhat odd. I think it might be that I'm scared of not having someone else there to ground me and take care of me if I start overloading, as I can be alone at home with only minor discomfort, but elsewhere it can get to the point where I'm fixating on it.



DonDud
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20 Sep 2011, 4:00 pm

I absolutely know that feeling of wishing someone were there to "ground" you. When someone else is around, I feel like the things I struggle with while being alone are out of sight and out of mind.



Joe90
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20 Sep 2011, 4:53 pm

Tuttle wrote:
Am I the only one like this? Where I'm both afraid of people and afraid of being alone. Even something like walking to the store alone I'm uncomfortable with, no matter how much I know I can do those things. Yet at the same time I find people (even more than social situations) scary.


I feel like this a lot. Sometimes I don't feel like going out and facing the public, yet I don't want to stay indoors all day because I get bored and lonely. Or when my cousins come up, inwardly I'm actually waiting for them to go, but if they didn't come up at all, I would be bored and lonely. But my mum says it might just be depression.

Also I don't like going to the supermarket on my own, I always like to have somebody with me (a close relative or close friend).


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Valoyossa
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20 Sep 2011, 4:59 pm

Sometimes I feel SOOO ALONE. But I feel uncomfortable with people, they make me tired and annoyed and I don't like their activities.


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izzeme
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21 Sep 2011, 4:36 am

the two alternate for me, usually when i'm in a situation, i fear that one.
if i'm alone and not working on a project or my special interest, i dont want to be alone, but usually around other people, i fear them as well...



eepstein
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28 Sep 2018, 4:30 pm

I got a dog when I was 14 and she has been my best friend ever since. I have been hearing allot about how lately people have been taking their little dogs on airplanes and all other places saying their dog is an emotional support animal, I have not done such thing as I dont think I need one, and think its wrong to take advantage of such amenities in this world for people who need it. However, if I have the option to take my dog anywhere, I automatically feel more comfortable. If I am alone, and without my dog, I feel lost, I have no one to talk to, etc. Even though when my dog IS there, its not like we have meaningful conversations regardless.

I read a book once about a non verbal boy with autism in japan. (its pretty famous im sure others have too) in it he explains that not doing anything even for a minute, can give him the same anxiety as not doing anything for the rest of his life. When I am alone I have a hard time thinking about what to do, who to express myself too, how long I will be alone, and it feels like I seriously will never get through it, even when im only alone for like 10 minutes in my own house.

That all being said I feel like being alone for me is restless, I do not know how to behave (because I have spent the majority of my life not being myself) and ultimately lost. This is the same in a grocery store, or in a mall, when people are around me, but i have no one to refer to, talk to, or follow. but at the same time, social interaction of any kind, even with my own family, or girlfriend, can be exasperating and give me immense anxiety.



nick007
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30 Sep 2018, 5:21 am

I wouldn't exactly say that I'm afraid of people but I tend not to really like most people & I'm afraid of opening up & being myself around almost anyone including my family. I've been a loner my whole life but my other problem is that I'm very dependent & cant really handle living on my own & going to lots of places on my own. Some of that is due to disabilities other than Aspergers thou. I HATED living with my parents because they were very critical of my many disabilities/issues/quirks but I had no choice but to live with them. The only people I really felt close to & like my true self were my 1st girlfriend, my 2nd girlfriend & my 3rd girlfriend. I've been living with my 3rd for almost 6 years now & that is my ideal solution to my conundrum. I very desperately desired a romantic realtionship when I was single because of this.


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green0star
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30 Sep 2018, 8:38 am

I'm pretty used to being alone because I find that people don't really like me very much after some time. My luck is so bad with people that I have the ability to even fall out with someone that I'm not even really friends with o-o



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30 Sep 2018, 8:55 am

I'm not afraid of people, apart from walking outside in the dark and possibly getting hurt by someone. I am afraid of being old, alone and in a nursing home, because I will very likely be the last person in my family left alive. If I can't take care of myself 100 percent, I don't want to know the alternative.