Do you tend to get along better with foreigners?

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N0tYetDeadFred
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22 Sep 2011, 1:24 pm

I'm from the American South, but my best friend in junior high was a Buddhist from Thailand, I've had friends from the Bahamas, and have been to Central America five times.

I can also relate to the earlier posts about getting along better with "outsiders," though. When I do attend a class at church, for example, I go to the class full of recovering jail inmates. My musical tastes (punk rock, alternative, delta blues) also reflect my "love for fringe people," as someone I know put it. (I think my mother-in-law said "strange people.")

I can also relate to mostly hanging around younger/older females.



emtyeye
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22 Sep 2011, 3:02 pm

Pretty much all the people I have had close friendships with have been foreign. My partner was born in another country. My own family are not from US and I always thought that explained it, but I now think it is more AS related. I also find it easier to approach black people (I am white) and weird people of any kind as long as they are not arrogant or beligarent. I think the foreign thing makes sense, they are out of place and so am I. It's just kind of natural. I also feel quite comfortable when I have traveled abroad. I haven't felt culture shock when traveling in Europe, Africa or Mexico. Although a very NT traveling companion I went to Mexico with felt it so bad she had to hid in the hotel for days.



Madao
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22 Sep 2011, 5:09 pm

Come to think of it, the majority of my online friends live literally on the other side of the world. Plus when I was in high school I got along well with the foreign exchange students. o__O I have almost no friends from the U.S.A.



encapuzado
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24 Sep 2011, 2:32 pm

Yes, but because I don't like the Brazilian style of people: always smiling, been friendly with everyone, hugging and kissing...
I am more English style.



lokilost
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25 Sep 2011, 7:55 am

I tend to get on poorly with them in person, as many of the ones I encounter have little to know frame of reference to understand what autism is, such as our new missionary from Uganda. It took us two weeks to explain to him my friend K doesn't talk, period (he'll use pecs occasionally, but that's it). He still doesn't understand how since I can talk, I can have the same problem. He doesn't speak english well, and I use highly sophisticated preplanned scripts to talk, so he doesn't notice my deficiencies. We've tried explaining, but he simply doesn't understand meltdowns or sensory overloads at all....

On line though, I have acquaintances from many countries, but I think it has more to do with they are nerds rather than they are foreign....



LittleTigger
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25 Sep 2011, 12:12 pm

I am learning Spanish, and in learning any
language, I belive it is easier just to switch
to Their language rather than make them
struggle with mine unless of course they
know it well enough to talk to me in it.

I am a US citizen, but I am English by
heritage, raised by my
very English grandfather, I have alot
of his habits in me, but I think of myself
as international.

I love learning new languages and I am told
I pronounce good, with very little English
accent behind what I am speaking.

I am learning Spanish, Mandarin (Common Language) Chinese,
Hindi, Urdu, Farsi, Arabic, Cantonese (Kaulun Bay) Chinese,
and Japanese. I love to make the sounds, and have
a talk in another language, I want to learn at least 5 fluently
before I die, if I knew I cood I would learn 50 languages
and travel all over the globe, speaking to anyone in their
language clearly, where ever I went.


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134340
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26 Sep 2011, 3:30 pm

Karuna wrote:
It's not so much foreigners, it's outsiders.


This.

People definitely notice I'm different, but they don't mind. It's like the Guild show. Everyone is a misfit on some level, so everyone fits in with each other fine.



opal
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27 Sep 2011, 1:16 am

Some foreigners. I seem to get along with Brits better than aussies.
I find a lot of yanks to be rude, loud, and pushy. I had one at the supermarket today move to another queue because she thought it would be quicker - then had the hide to push back in front of me because "She was in a hurry and only had a few items" We had the same number of items. I just stood there with my mouth open - I couldn't believe it. But I've met alot of yanks that are similarly rude and self absorbed. Brits tend to be a lot more polite in my experience.



opal
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27 Sep 2011, 1:20 am

Karuna wrote:
It's not so much foreigners, it's outsiders. I tend to get on with people that know how it feels to not belong. Whether thats foreigners, different races, people with disabilities, gays, doesn't matter, for me it's because they can't properly tell that i'm different from the norm because they're different from the norm too.

I think in the same way i tend to get on with people that are older/younger and quite often females. It's only when u stick me with someone that's my age and sex that it becomes really obvious how different to normal i am.


That's so true



viera
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27 Sep 2011, 3:21 am

I don't make friends very easy. It takes ages for me to connect with someone and even keeping in touch with someone I connect to is somewhat tiresome for me. However I've observed that I get along with outsiders well until they make other friends and forget all about me. I'm considered weird and only those who find my weirdness funny or entertaining befriend me and keep in touch.



Maje
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27 Sep 2011, 3:44 am

I get along with anyone.



Chris71
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04 Jun 2012, 8:58 am

I think so too [easier to make friends with people from other countries].

I am sure it has a lot to do with the fact that non-native English speakers would use few, if any idiomatic expressions, as already mentioned on this thread.

At work, I've been told by various people from around the World (in different language regions) over the phone that they find I am particularly easy to understand compared to many of my colleagues (who definately over-use idiomatic langauge).

I would also add that if you are in conversation with a group, and there is a non-native speaker trying to listen to you, then I would consider it rude to over-use idioms in that conversation. For me, there is little excuse for not switching over to "compatibility-mode English", for politely making it easier for everyone to follow. I wish my in-laws would do the same, but alas they seem unable to escape their own made-up words and dialects that not even the next town would understand.

This thread just reminded me also, out of the past relationships I've had with various girlfriends, only one of those was from the same country as myself. So indeed, it seems that many of us get along better with people from other countries.



lostgirl1986
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04 Jun 2012, 9:17 am

Yes, I think a lot of it has to do with social isolation. I think that they can sense that a lot of Aspies are quiet people who are patient and good listeners so they are kind of drawn into that.



tchek
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04 Jun 2012, 9:42 am

I definitely get along better with foreigners...

I think foreigners are more forgiving to awkwardness when you speak in a different language or are of a different culture. Since as Aspergers we feel foreign in our own country, it's reassuring when we are REALLY a foreigner.

Fortunately I live in a country where i'm less than a hour away from 4 different countries



Kinme
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04 Jun 2012, 10:34 am

Definitely. I'm very close to someone who is from Thailand. Her and I can communicate about almost anything, and I can be goofy and weird around her all the time.