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Anyone believe parents rules and live by them?

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Verdandi
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22 Sep 2011, 1:46 am

y-pod wrote:
Wow so none of your parents ever beat you up for things like coming home too late, or breaking a dish or forgetting to do your homework? You lucky people. When I was a kid I didn't know any other kid who would NOT have gotten into trouble for those examples. I remember helping my mom in the kitchen and I tried to crack open an egg but missed the bowl and smashed it all over myself. I was terrified, but my mom didn't scold me that time. I think I'm eternally grateful for that. :D


My parents were extremely punitive, but that doesn't mean that I have carried their rules into adulthood. Even as a teenager I was doing a lot of my own thing rather than paying attention to them because of the punitive nature of their rules. Yes, I did get in trouble, and one of my parents was actually abusive.



KathySilverstein
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22 Sep 2011, 3:42 am

y-pod, if your parents actually beat you up for those things, that's just plain abusive. Scolding is another manner.
My parents also had pretty much common sense rules and not that many of them. I didn't have an especially active social life so they didn't have to make many for me! We had a loose, reasonable bedtime as kids... were only allowed to eats sweets after dinner...no soda....Those are about the only ones I remember, and they pretty much dissapeared when we got older , like in high school. lol, the only rule I can ever remember disagreeing with is when I got dessert taken away for three nights for saying something my mom thought was rude. Come to think of it, that was just me being an Aspie, but whatever. Wasn't a big deal.


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LadySera
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22 Sep 2011, 4:29 am

My parents had okay rules but I do remember my dad trying to ingrain his beliefs about different things to us. I totally believe and reacted the same way about things until I was in my teens and starting rethinking everything.



ToughDiamond
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22 Sep 2011, 6:06 am

I accepted the rules at first, but the demands became ridiculous and impossible......there was no pleasing Mum, so I had no choice but to annoy her. I think if it had been at least possible to follow the rules, things might have turned out very different. But I stuck to a lot of them because of the threats of extreme punishment if I didn't. I rebelled when I was a teenager, though even then I found it very difficult to openly defy my parents, so I just took control of my own life as quietly as possible, and kept them out of my life once I'd moved out.

For years I was rather stuck....I knew the old rules were deeply flawed, and I figured that doing the opposite was probably the best thing, but I discovered that it wasn't, and I've been unpicking the whole mess ever since, gradually working out which bits of the old ways were appropriate and which weren't.